Attraction Signals: When To Escalate

Attraction SignalsIf you’re waiting for a girl to come out and say “I like you, now kiss me” you’ll likely be waiting a very long time.  While she won’t be blunt she will give off attraction signals that show she’s ready for you to take things forward.  Learning these signals can help you avoid potentially disastrous mistakes and missed opportunities.

Sometimes these signals can be direct and clear.  For example if she’s looking you in the eye and slowly licking her, it’s pretty obvious that she’s ready for you to kiss her.  If you’re not getting a clear sign however, you can fish for attraction signals by establishing sexual tension and gauging her reaction.

Developing sexual tension

Sexual tension doesn’t have to be something you wait for, hoping it establishes itself.  You can create it by getting in touch with your own sexual desire for the girl and comfortably holding on to that desire.  Simply gazing into her eyes, occasionally moving your gaze to her lips, while thinking about how you want her.  It will create that vibe of sexual tension.  It may seem subtle for us guys, but women will definitely pick up on it.

Some guys don’t feel comfortable being that upfront about their desires.  They might feel as though it creeps women out, or they just don’t want to get shot down.  The fact is if you’re not comfortable getting in touch with this side of you and putting it out there when you’re with a girl you’re interested in, then it’s going to be very hard for her to ever see you as anything other than a friend.  Besides if she is attracted and interested in you, then she’d going to be glad you were able to push things forward.

Capitalizing on that tension

Once you feel that sexual tension keep your gaze on her.  Don’t look away, crack a joke, or bail on it in anyway.  Keep your attention on her and see how she reacts.  If she starts to pull her body away, looks away from you, or starts talking, that’s a sign she’s not feeling it.  It doesn’t mean it’s a lost cause, just that you’ve got more work to do before she’s ready to accept the sexual build up.

On the other hand if she holds firm, meets your gaze, and accepts that tension, you’re golden.  That’s the attraction sign that means you can escalate. Pull her in for a kiss or take her to whatever that next level may be.  Be sure to ride that wave of tension by being direct in these moments.  This is no time to be indirect or coy as that will only detract from the tension and make her feel less inclined to kiss you.

Creating sexual tension often requires a bit of ground work to be done first.  Learning to incorporate touch, banter, and rapport building in the early stages of the interaction will make her more likely to accept that sexual tension.

If you’re ready to jump and learn this stuff in just a weeks’ time while getting personalized in-field coaching, check out our live bootcamps that run in LA.  It’s by far the most effective method to take your game to the next level.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction