how to turn a girl on over text

How to Turn a Girl On Over Text Messages in 2024

There is still some mystery to the art of texting women despite living in a world where everyone has a cell phone and text messages are ubiquitous. We’re here to solve that mystery for you, even if you have a girlfriend and want to spice things up. In this article, you will find proven tips, seductive text messages for her, and clear examples you can use to take control of your dating life and start sending flirty texts that will turn a girl on (even your dream girl).

(Plus, these tips also apply to instant messages, flirting on WhatsApp, e-mails, and romantic hand-written letters if you’re traveling back in time.)

Knowing how to turn a girl on over text messages will make it easier to get physical with her when you meet up. She will trust your ability to create sexual tension and have fun with it.

The key here is nuance. If you don’t flirt at all, she’ll lost interest. But don’t be too sexual, or she will think you’re only focused on sleeping with her. This isn’t the article you’re looking for if you want to know how to take nudes. Be coy and mysterious, and always remember to be playful.

Now get your cell phone out, open up your contact list, and let’s start seducing women with the written word!

flirt with women over text

How do you flirt over text?

Misinterpretation is a simple and effective way to flirt with women. You create sexual tension and fan the spark of attraction with playful words. And since you can’t use body language to your advantage, it’s important to keep texting playful and lighthearted. The idea here is to assume the girl you’re texting is attracted to you and hitting on you.

A high-value attractive man assumes anyone can be interested in him. Meanwhile, all the other guys sit around waiting for women to explicitly tell them they’re interested, and that is not how this works. It’s up to you to create a playful vibe and make the flirting process fun for the girl you’re talking to. 

Even if she’s not interested, the playful vibe makes it easier for her to express herself without the awkward confrontation many guys create when they ask things like, “Do you like me or what?”

Turn things around and assume the girl is chasing you and thinking dirty thoughts about you. This allows you to turn the interaction sexual in a fun way.

Here is an example of how to text girls using misinterpretation:

Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?

Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night…maybe?

don't forget the romance

Don’t forget the romance!

This isn’t what you think, guys. Being romantic is a great way to sweep a woman off her feet, but we’re flipping the stereotypical romance on its head.

Girls love romance and everyone “knows” guys just want to get laid. We can use this to switch roles and assume the reverse. Let her know you want her to romance you instead.

Him: before we go any further, there’s something I need to tell you

Her: Ok…

Him: I’m not just a piece of meat – I need to be romanced

Her: You’re right! What was I thinking? I promise I won’t take advantage of you 😉

Now she will be thinking about pursuing you. It bumps her out of the stereotypical role she’s used to playing in the dating world. And it keeps building attraction in her mind because she will think about why she’s “pursuing” you.

use flirty nicknames with women

Use flirty nicknames

Suggestive nicknames turn basic texts into fun flirty texts. But they can also be used to turn things up a bit!

Her: hey hey! 🙂

Response: good afternoon, sexy pants! What trouble are you getting into today?

Replace sexy pants with other nicknames like sugar tits, peach bum, titty sprinkles, honey lips, stud muffin, sugar buns, sultry temptress, or sweet cheeks. Try them out, see what you like, and try to come up with your own!

These are playful and suggestive nicknames that flip a little switch in her mind that you are not here for friendship. The goal is to use subtle flirts over text to keep her wondering how you feel about her.

send memes and pics to women

Memes, GIFs, and Pics (Oh my!)

Visuals are magical!


Have you noticed how powerful a simple meme can be in conveying multiple emotions or thoughts? Memes, GIFs, and pictures can tell stories.

As the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

You can get away with saying much more in a visual than if you tried to type the same thing in a text.

Below are some great examples you can use. And if you want more, just do a search for sexy memes!

good morning sexy

sexy pun

sexy meme

Create Sexual Tension in a Way Women Can Play With

How about another playful way to introduce sexual tension into your flirty texts with women? Try the “let’s do it” text message. With this one, you assume the girl can’t help but think about sleeping with you.

Below is a texting example of what the “let’s do it” text message might look like:

Her: Are you free to hang out Thursday?

Response: Let’s do it… hang out I mean… not sex

Bringing it up this way opens the door for her to play along! The speed at which your flirty texts can escalate after using a line like this will surprise you!

sexual innuendos

Use Sexual Innuendos When Texting Girls

Sexual innuendos are a great way to bring sex into your texting with women and show your sense of humor. They show women you are comfortable around the topic and flirting. This allows her to be comfortable with it, too.

This may take some practice, but know that the more you use sexual innuendos, the easier it becomes to spot them. Certain words and phrases lend themselves to innuendo.

If this is a new concept for you

Here’s an example for how to text girls using sexual innuendo:

Her: 7 inches of snow today crazy huh

Response: 7 inches is quite fulfilling I hear 

Her: haha nice

With an innuendo, you can refer to a sexual act or body part without naming it, which allows her imagination to fill in the gaps. Be careful not to dominate an entire conversation with sexual innuendos though. They should be used occasionally because girls can grow to expect them from you and then they lose their effect.

protect yourself
Protect your produce

The Next Step to Turn a Girl on Over Text Messages

The playful flirting techniques mentioned above are great for getting the ball rolling. But to turn a girl on over text you’ll have to move beyond jokes and sexual banter. At some point, you need to step up as a dominant man and own your sexual desire for her.

But that doesn’t mean throwing your deepest desires at her.

Start by telling her how she makes you feel and what you want to do with her. Let her know what makes her so irresistible to you.

Expressing your desire this way shows the confidence women desire in a man. And it lets her know it’s okay for her to express her own desires to you.

The right mindset is crucial when texting girls because it ensures you don’t come across as creepy. Maintain that sense of awe and appreciation for the woman you’re texting.

Remember, it’s not about you or what you can get from her.

It’s about sharing the feelings of excitement she inspires within you and getting her turned on. That awe and appreciation mixed with your animalistic desire is the bulletproof formula.

get her to open up sexually

Get her to open up sexually

A girl may feel uncomfortable getting sexual with you through text messages. Especially if she doesn’t know you well. She’s going to be less inclined to open up sexually if she’s worried about you judging her.

Or if she’s worried about you blabbing to your friends about what she sends you.

Don’t be that guy.

Make her feel comfortable and respect her privacy.

To show her it’s okay to open up, you should be accepting of anything she says once things turn sexual. If she’s sexually insecure, accept that part of her. If she’s into wild, freaky stuff you never would have thought of, accept that, too.

You don’t have to agree with her fantasies. But you can still welcome them and validate them. Allow space for her to have those thoughts and feelings without judgment.

The best way to make a woman comfortable sharing her sexual interests and fantasies is to share yours first. By taking the first step as the guy, you show it’s safe for her to follow you down this road.

It can also get her to feel as if it’s “her turn” to share her own thoughts and feelings around sex, and compel her to open up to you.

weird sexy stuff
We all have weird stuff we’re into – there’s no shame in talking about it!

Choose the right words

It is important to use descriptive language when expressing your sexual desires. Texting “I want to kiss you” can be a bland, dull statement and won’t build sexual tension. 

But what if you tell a girl you want to pin her against the wall, slide your hand under her tight shirt, and tug her hair back as you nibble on her neck?

That’s going to pack a hot punch coming from a guy she’s interested in.

The key in using descriptive language with girls through text messages is to paint a picture of the scene. Be specific and use detail, describe what you would do to each body part, and create a clear picture in her head of what the two of you could be doing together.

Being descriptive like this will help her feel as if she’s actually in that position.  If she can see herself in that situation she’ll start to feel as if it’s actually happening. This escalates the attraction level and sexual tension, turning her on more.

dirty dream technique

The Dirty Dream technique

If you’re looking to build sexual tension with women, try out the secret Dirty Dream technique. First text the woman telling her how you had the dirtiest dream about her last night.

What if you don’t have a strong connection with the woman yet?

You can phrase it similar to “btw I had the dirtiest dream about you last night” or “omg! I had the dirtiest dream about you last night!”

This allows you to bring it up in a more casual way. It sounds casual because you’re mentioning it in passing or pretending you’re shocked.

After she responds, you throw in a twist…

The dream was about the two of you getting caught in a downpour and getting all muddy! (Or whatever literal use of the word “dirty” you want to go with.) 

By making it a joke you’ve broken that sexual tension, made her laugh, and made her feel comfortable. And she’s primed to think about sex since that first text implied that’s where you were going.

Now you can steer the conversation in a sexual direction.

Tell her what transpired next in your dream. Tell her about how you ran for shelter and found a tight spot under a tree. Then lead into what you started to do with each other as she pressed her body onto yours…

how not to offend her

How to text a girl when she’s upset

Stating how you feel and what you want to do with/to her are crucial in how to turn a girl on over text messages. But being bold means there may be instances where your calibration is off. In that case, you wind up texting a girl something she doesn’t like.

First, know that it’s ok. Men and women get offended. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

If you offend a girl over text at any point, here’s how you handle it:

Acknowledge the fact that she didn’t appreciate what you said, and move on. Validate her concern and let her know you understand her. Then show her that it’s ok by moving the interaction forward.

This gives her a chance to forgive you and forget about it completely.

Here is an abridged example of how to text a girl after she gets offended:

Her: Ew don’t call me that. That’s disgusting and honestly, I’m a little offended by it

Response: Didn’t mean to offend you my dear. You’re so sexy I was just thinking about pinning you down on my bed and making you moan.

Do NOT lose your cool or start making fun of her for getting offended. As a confident guy, you know that not everyone will respond to you the same. It’s up to you to remain calm, own the situation, and move forward.

sexy talk
“He said what? Oh, my… that would turn me on.”

How do you turn a girl on over text if she’s shy?

Make sure you’re not escalating too fast. Build attraction and sexual tension gradually. You don’t want to go from talking about the weather to your deepest desires in three text messages.

Compliment her personality. Describe what you appreciate about her. Let her know you love her sense of humor (but only if you actually do—don’t lie).

You can also use misinterpretation to tease her about how much she wants to go out with you or kiss you.

Her: haha that picture of you is so cute! I just want to pinch your cheeks

Response: I love it when you say dirty things to me like that 😉

Gauge her response. Go back to regular talk if she sounds offended or uncomfortable.

Remember, the goal of texting is to take her out so that you can get to know her on a personal level. Not all girls enjoy texting, so she might not send a lot of text messages. Focus on the goal of taking her out, while keeping it playful.

how to get her in the mood

How do you get a girl in the mood over text fast?

Show her that you can’t stop thinking about her. Let her know you find her so attractive it’s going to be hard to keep your hands off of her.

Looking forward to tonight… I can’t stop thinking about how sexy you looked in that dress Wednesday

Her: Just wait until you see what I’m wearing tonight 😉

Response: Don’t hold it against me if I can’t control myself and I rip it off with my teeth

Her: Ugh, you’re making me think dirty thoughts at work. Stop it! (jk don’t stop)

Once she’s on board with you escalating, pull out the big guns. Be detailed, use descriptive words about the girl’s body to compliment her, and remember that sexting is foreplay. Use it to play with sexual tension and build up to the real thing.

Response: As soon as I see you tonight I’m going to push your sexy body up against the wall, grip your hair and pull your head back, and slide my tongue up your beautiful neck and behind your ear

Her: Holy shit keep going !!

what to say when you meet

How can you send sexual texts to a girl you just met?

Think about how you met this woman. Meeting a woman at a bar and making out for twenty minutes is one thing. Meeting her at a networking event for your industry and hitting it off is another.

Adjust how sexual your messages are based on how sexual the initial meeting was. It is important to keep the first message playful. Tease her and refer back to when you met.

For someone you already flirted with in person, send a flirty text like:

“Hey delicious blueberry muffin, it was great chatting earlier. Are you always so much fun? – Your Name”

On the other hand, if you met at a networking event, you could say:

“Hey Emily, it was great to meet you at the mastermind. I like your adventurous spirit. Are you always so easy to talk to? – Your Name”

Then, you can slowly move on to flirting. The crucial point is to see how she responds. If she’s enjoying your comments, see if you can take it one step further.

If she seems uncomfortable, go back to regular conversation.

Keep in mind that being sexual over text messages does not mean anything if you don’t schedule a time to meet up. If you like her, take her out on a date and see if you enjoy her company.

Unsure about what to talk about when you meet? Conversation Magic is your key to sparking fun and engaging conversations on your next date!

turn a girl on over tinder

Online Dating—How can you turn a girl on over Tinder?

First, make sure your profile contains high-quality pictures. Your physical attractiveness is less important than what the pictures convey about your personality and life. You should be smiling and dressed well. Include pictures of you and your friends, and your pet if you have one. Show off your hobbies and what you enjoy doing.

In summary: live the life you would want to be a part of and photograph it for your online dating profile. This will filter in the women who want to be a part of your life.

Attractive women on any online dating app have their inbox flooded with messages from different guys. The messages range from “What’s up?” to overly sexual ones that are offensive.

Do you think being boring or offensive is arousing women on these dating apps?

Stand out by keeping it playful without being needy.

Let’s say she texts you with, “I love the Matcha Lattes in this coffee shop. You should totally check it out sometime.”

You could respond with, “Whoa, I wanted to get to know each other more before our first date, but I like where your head’s at :)”

A lot of guys get invested in messaging women and try to convince them to go out with them. If you can be the guy who communicates his standards, you will stand out in a sea of needy texts from most men.

And remember to exchange phone numbers if you are interested in her.

Don’t spend too much time talking on Tinder. Move from Tinder to playful texting to a fun date.

couple playing
“This could be us but you never asked for my number!”

In a Nutshell—How to Turn a Girl On Over Text in 2024

By following these simple tips for how to turn a girl on over text (and paying attention to her responses), you’ll be well on your way to mindblowing sex with your dream girl—or at least sending some flirty texts that will get her thinking about it!

And don’t forget these tips also apply to your girlfriend or wife! Keep that romance alive!

Remember the basics:

  • Misinterpretation is a simple and effective way to flirt
  • Flip the stereotype on its head and assume she’s chasing you
  • Use suggestive nicknames to turn basic texts into flirty texts
  • Memes, GIFs, and pics, oh my!
  • Sprinkle sexual innuendos into your texts
  • Don’t be afraid to express your desire for her
  • Open up to her first so she’s comfortable opening up to you
  • Use descriptive words when telling her what you want to do to her

Want More Proven Advice From a Dating and Relationship Coach?

Do you want to make sure you don’t bomb on your next date?

What if you could strike up a conversation with anyone and instantly connect with her—even if you hate boring small talk?

Conversation Magic can now make that happen! With our bulletproof formula, you’ll be flirting up a storm with beautiful women and effortlessly sparking unforgettable conversations with her in no time!

Blow up your phone with incoming text messages from women chasing you…

…women who find you irresistible, who wanna hang out with you and are planning dates for you.

If you’re tired of getting rejected and chasing women then…