Man and woman enjoying morning coffee in bed

How to Turn a Girl On Over Text in 2021

Despite living in a world where text messages are ubiquitous, there is still some mystery to the art of texting women. We’re here to solve that mystery for you with tips and examples you can use to take control of your dating life.

Knowing how to turn a girl on over text messages will make it that much easier to get physical with her in person! She will trust your ability to create sexual tension and play with it.

The key here is nuance. Don’t be too sexual, or she will think you’re only focused on sleeping with her. Be coy and mysterious, and definitely be playful.

Here are some masterful tips and examples for how to turn a girl on over text.

Flirt with women over text

Misinterpretation is an effective way to flirt with women. You create sexual tension and fan the spark of attraction with playful words. The idea here is to assume the girl you’re texting is attracted to you and hitting on you.

Turn things around like this and assume the girl is chasing you and thinking dirty thoughts about you. This allows you to turn the conversation sexual in a flirty way.

Here is an example of how to text girls using misinterpretation:

Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?
Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night…maybe ?

Don’t forget the romance!

This isn’t what you think, guys. Being romantic is a great way to sweep a woman off her feet, but we’re flipping the stereotypical romance on its head.

Girls love romance and everyone “knows” guys just want to get laid. We can use this to switch roles and assume the reverse. Let her know you want her to romance you instead.

Him: before we go any further, there’s something I need to tell you
Her: Ok…
Him: I’m not just a piece of meat – I need to be romanced
Her: You’re right! What was I thinking. I promise I won’t take advantage of you 😉

Now she will be thinking about pursuing you. It bumps her out of the stereotypical role she’s used to playing in the dating world. And it keeps building attraction in her mind because she will think about why she’s “pursuing” you.

Woman making an advance on a man sitting on a couch
“I know I promised I wouldn’t take advantage of you, but…”

Use flirty nicknames

Flirty nicknames for girls make basic texts playful. But they can also be used to turn things up a bit!

Her: hey hey! 🙂
Response: good afternoon, sexy pants! What trouble are you getting into today?

Replace sexy pants with other flirty nicknames like sugar tits, peach bum, titty sprinkles, honey lips, or sweet cheeks.

These are playful and suggestive nicknames that flip a little switch in her mind that you are not here for friends.

Memes, GIFs, and pics (Oh my!)

Visuals are magical!


Have you noticed how powerful a simple meme can be in conveying multiple emotions or thoughts. Memes, GIFs, and pictures can tell stories.

As the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousands words.”

You can get away with saying much more in a visual than if you tried to type the same thing in text.

Below are some great examples you can use. And if you want more, just do a search for sexy memes!

A meme that says: good morning you sexy thing
A meme that says: My ideal body weight is yours on mine
An ecard that says: picturing you naked is the most productive thing I've done all day

Build sexual tension in a way women can play with

How about another playful way to introduce sexual tension into your texts with women? Try the “let’s do it” text message. With this one you assume the girl can’t help but think about sleeping with you.

Below is a texting example of what the “let’s do it” text message might look like:

Her: Are you free to hang out Thursday?
Response: Let’s do it… hang out I mean… not sex

Bringing up sex this way opens the door for her to play along! The speed at which your texts can escalate after using a line like this will surprise you!

Use sexual innuendos when texting girls

Sexual innuendos are a great way to bring sex into your texting with women and show your sense of humor. They show women you are comfortable around the topic and flirting. This allows her to be comfortable with it, too.

This may take some practice, but know that the more you use sexual innuendos, the easier it becomes to spot them. Certain words and phrases lend themselves to sexual innuendo.

If this is a new concept for you, here’s an example on how to text girls using sexual innuendo:

Her: 7 inches of snow today crazy huh
Response: 7 inches is quite fulfilling I hear 
Her: haha nice

5 pieces of produce wrapped in condoms
Protect your produce

The next step to turn a girl on over text messages

The playful flirting techniques mentioned above are great for getting the ball rolling. But to turn a girl on over text you’ll have to move beyond jokes and sexual banter. At some point, you need to step up and own your own sexual desire for her.

Start by telling her exactly how she makes you feel and what you want to do with her. Let her know what makes her so irresistible to you.

Expressing your desire this way shows the confidence women desire in a man. And it lets her know it’s okay for her to express her own sexual desires to you.

The right mindset is crucial when texting girls because it ensures you don’t come across as creepy. Maintain that sense of awe and appreciation for the woman you’re texting.

Remember, it’s not about you or what you can get from her.

It’s about sharing the feelings of excitement she inspires within you and getting her turned on. That awe and appreciation mixed with your animalistic desire is the bulletproof formula.

Get her to open up sexually

A girl may feel uncomfortable getting sexual with you through text messages. Especially if she doesn’t know you well. She’s going to be less inclined to open up sexually if she’s worried about you judging her.

Or if she’s worried about you blabbing to your friends about what she sends you.

Don’t be that guy.

Make her feel comfortable and respect her privacy.

To show her it’s okay to open up, you should be accepting of anything she says once the conversation turns sexual. If she’s sexually insecure, accept that part of her. If she’s into wild, freaky stuff you never would have thought of, accept that, too.

You don’t have to agree with her fantasies. But you can still welcome them and validate them. Allow space for her to have those thoughts and feelings without judgment.

The best way to make a woman comfortable sharing her sexual interests and fantasies is to share yours first. By taking the first step as the guy you show it’s safe for her to follow you down this road.

It can also get her to feel as if it’s “her turn” to share her own thoughts and feelings around sex, and compel her to open up to you.

Woman in underwear wearing a collar and chain
We all have weird stuff we’re into – there’s no shame in talking about it!

Choose the right words

It is important to use descriptive language when expressing your sexual desires. Texting “I want to kiss you” can be a bland, dull statement and won’t build sexual tension. 

But what if you tell a girl you want to pin her against the wall, slide your hand under her tight shirt, and tug her hair back as you nibble on her neck?

That’s going to pack a hot punch.

The key in using descriptive language with girls through text messages is to paint a picture of the scene. Use detail, be specific, and create a clear picture in her head of what the two of you could be doing together.

Being descriptive like this will help her feel as if she’s actually in that position. If she can see herself in that situation she’ll start to feel as if it’s actually happening. This builds attraction and she’ll become more turned-on.

The Dirty Dream technique

If you’re looking to build sexual tension with women, a secret you can try out is the Dirty Dream technique. First text the woman telling her how you had the dirtiest dream about her last night.

What if you don’t yet have a strong connection with the woman?

You can phrase it similar to “btw I had the dirtiest dream about you last night” or “omg! I had the dirtiest dream about you last night!”

This allows you to bring it up in a more casual way. It sounds casual because you’re mentioning it in passing or pretending you’re shocked.

After she responds, you throw in a twist…

The dream was about the two of you getting caught in a downpour and getting all muddy! (or whatever literal use of the word “dirty” you want to go with.) 

By making it a joke you’ve broken that sexual tension, made her laugh, and made her feel comfortable. And she’s primed to think about sex since that first text implied that’s where you were going.

Now you can steer the conversation in a sexual direction.

Tell her what transpired next in your dream. Tell her about how you ran for shelter and found a tight spot under a tree. Then lead into what you started to do with each other as she pressed her body onto yours…

How to text a girl when she’s upset

Stating how you feel and what you want to do with/to her is the key in turning a girl on over text messages. But being bold means there may be instances where your calibration is off. In that case, you wind up texting a girl something she doesn’t like.

If you offend a girl over text at any point, here’s how you handle it:

Acknowledge the fact that she didn’t appreciate what you said, and move on. Validate her concern and let her know you understand her. Then show her that it’s no big deal by moving the interaction forward.

This gives her a chance to forgive you and forget about it completely.

Here is an abridged example of how to text a girl after she gets offended:

Her: Ew don’t call me that. That’s disgusting and honestly, I’m a little offended by it
Response: Didn’t mean to offend you my dear. You’re so sexy I was just thinking about pinning you down on my bed and making you moan.

Girl whispering into her friend's ear while her friend looks shocked
“He said what?! Oh, my… that would turn me on”


Make sure you’re not escalating too fast. Build attraction and sexual tension gradually. You don’t want to go from talking about the weather to your deepest darkest desires in only three text messages.

Compliment her personality. Describe what you appreciate about her. Compliment her on her sense of humor or her sparkling eyes (but only if you actually do—don’t lie).

You can also use misinterpretation to tease her about how much she wants to go out with you or kiss you.

Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?
Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night… maybe

Gauge her response. Go back to regular talk if she sounds offended or uncomfortable.

Remember, the goal for texting is to take her out so that you can get to know her on a personal level. A woman might not be a texter, so she might not send a lot of text messages. Focus on the goal of taking her out, while keeping it playful.


Think about how you met this woman. Meeting a woman at a bar and making out for twenty minutes is one thing. Meeting her at a networking event for your industry and hitting it off is another.

Adjust how sexual your messages are depending on how sexual the initial meeting was. It is important to keep the first message playful. Tease her and refer back to when you met.

For someone you already flirted with in person, you could text:

“Hey delicious blueberry muffin, it was great chatting earlier. Are you always so much fun? – Your Name”

On the other hand, if you met at a networking event, you could say:

“Hey Emily, it was great to meet you at the mastermind. I like your adventurous spirit. Are you always so easy to talk to? – Your Name”

Then, you can slowly move onto flirting. The crucial point is to see how she responds. If she’s enjoying your comments, see if you can take it one step further.

If she seems uncomfortable, go back to regular conversation.

Keep in mind that being sexual over text messages does not mean anything if you don’t schedule time to meet up. If you like her, take her out on a date and see if you enjoy her company.


Make sure your profile contains high quality pictures. You should be smiling and dressed well. Show off your hobbies and what you enjoy doing. This filters the right women in.

Live the life you would want to be part of if and photograph it for your profile.

Attractive women on dating apps have their inbox flooded with messages from different guys. The messages range from “What’s up?” to overly sexual ones that are offensive.

Do you think being boring or offensive will create attraction?

You can stand out by keeping it playful without being needy.

Let’s say she texts you with, “I love the Matcha Lattes in this coffee shop. You should totally check it out sometime.”

You could respond with, “Whoa, I wanted to get to know each other more before our first date, but I like where your head’s at :)”

A lot of guys get invested in texting women and try to convince them to go out with them. If you can be the guy who communicates his standards, you will stand out in a sea of needy texts.

And remember to exchange phone numbers if you are interested in her.

Don’t spend too much time talking on Tinder. You should be trying to move from Tinder to playful texting to a fun date.

Man and woman smiling on a carousel
“This could be us but you never asked for my number!”

Looking for more?

Did you enjoy this article but still feel like you need some more fantastic tips on attracting the right women into your dating life?

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