How to Turn a Girl On Over Text

Knowing how to turn a girl on over text will make it that much easier to get physical with her in person. If you’re interested in getting the work of turning a girl on done ahead of time, here are some texting tips on how to turn a girl on over text.

Flirting with women over text
One of the most effective ways to flirt with women and create sexual tension when texting girls is a misinterpretation. The idea here is to assume the girl you’re texting is attracted to you and is actively hitting on you. Flipping the script like this and assuming the girl is chasing you and thinking dirty thoughts about you allows you to turn the conversation with the woman sexual in a fun and playful way.

Here is an example of how to text girls using misinterpretation:

Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?
Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night…maybe 😉

More playful flirting techniques women love
Another fun way to introduce sex into your conversations with women in a playful, non-invasive way is the “let’s do it” text. Like misinterpretation, this text assumes that the girl can’t help but think about sleeping with you while you are just trying to have an innocent conversation.

Below is a texting example of what the ‘let’s do it’ text to a girl might look like:

Her: Are you free to hang out Thursday?
Response: Let’s do it…hang out I mean… not sex

Bringing sex into your conversations with women in a funny way like this opens the door for the girl to play along too. You might be surprised how quickly your texts with a girl can escalate after using a line like this.

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Use sexual innuendos when texting girls
Yet another way to bring sex into your conversations with women and playfully flirt with women through text is to use sexual innuendos. These are great jokes to texts girls as they show women you are comfortable around the topic of sex – which allows her to be comfortable with it, too.

This may take some practice, but know that the more you use sexual innuendos, the easier it becomes to spot them. Certain words and phrases tend to lend themselves to sexual innuendo quite easily. If this is a new concept for you, here’s an example from The Text Book on how to text girls using sexual innuendo:

Her: 7 inches of snow today crazy huh
Response: 7 inches is quite fulfilling I hear 
Her: haha nice

The next step in turning a girl on through text
The playful flirting techniques mentioned above are great for getting the ball rolling, but to really turn a girl on over the text you’ll eventually have to move beyond jokes and sexual banter. At some point, you need to step up and own your own sexual desire for her. When you want to fully turn a girl on over text, start by telling her exactly how she makes you feel and what you want to do with her. Expressing your desire like this shows the confidence women want in a man and lets her know it’s okay for her to express her own sexual desires to you.

So to get a girl turned on over text, let her know the feelings she inspires within you.

The trick to stating your desires that ensures you won’t come across as creepy to women is to have the right mindset when texting girls. Maintain that sense of awe and appreciation for the woman you’re texting. Remember, it’s not about you and what you can get from her. It’s more about sharing the feelings of excitement she inspires within you and getting her turned on. That appreciation/awe mixed with your own animalistic desire is the bulletproof formula for how to turn a girl on over text.

Get her to open up sexually

A girl may feel uncomfortable getting sexual with you through text – especially if she doesn’t know you very well.  She’s going to be less inclined to open up sexually if she’s worried you might judge her, or blab to your friends about the intimate things she said that were meant only for you.

To show her it’s okay to open up, you want to be accepting of anything she says once the conversation turns sexual.  If she’s sexually insecure, accept that part of her.  If she’s into wild, freaky stuff you never would have thought of, accept that, too.  You don’t necessarily have to like or agree with her fantasies but you can still welcome them, validate them, and allow space for her to have those thoughts and feelings without judgment.

Another way to help a woman feel comfortable opening up sexually is for you to open up and share your own sexual interests or fantasies first.  By taking the first step you show it’s safe for her to follow you down this road.  It can also get her to feel as if it’s “her turn” to share her own thoughts and feelings around sex, and compel her to open up to you.

Choosing the right words

When you are expressing your sexual interest, desire, and fantasies it’s important to use descriptive language.  Merely saying “I want to kiss you” can be a bland, dull statement.  But if you start telling a girl how you want to pin her against the wall, slide your hand under her tight shirt, and gently tug her hair back as you nibble on her neck, that’s going to pack a bit more punch.

The key in using descriptive language to turn a girl on through text is to really paint a picture of the scene.  Use detail, be specific, and put a clear picture in her head of what the two of you could be doing together.  Being descriptive like this will help her feel as if she’s actually in that position.  If she can vividly see herself in that situation she’ll start to feel as if it’s actually happening.  And she’ll become more turned-on.

The Dirty Dream technique

If you want to get a sexual conversation going, a great tactic to try out is the Dirty Dream technique.  You first text the girl telling her how you had the dirtiest dream about her last night.  If you don’t yet have a strong connection with the girl, you can phrase it like “btw I had the dirtiest dream about you last night” or “omg! I had the dirtiest dream about you last night!” Mentioning it in passing or adding elements that show you’re somewhat shocked it happened allows you to bring it up in a more casual way.

After she responds, you throw in a twist – that the dream was about the two of you getting caught in a downpour and getting all muddy.  (Or whatever literal use of the word “dirty” you want to go with).  By making it a joke you’ve broken that sexual tension and likely got her to laugh and feel comfortable.  And yet, she’s also primed to think about sex since that first text implied that’s where you were going.

So now that she’s feeling more comfortable (and not “on edge” about what you might say) and primed to think about sex, you can steer the conversation in a sexual direction.  Go on to tell her what transpired next in your dream – about how you ran for shelter, found a tight spot under a tree, and what you started to do with each other as your bodies were pressed firmly together…

How to text a girl when she’s upset

Boldly stating how you feel and what you want to do with/to a woman is the key in turning a girl on over text. But being bold means there may be instances where your calibration is off and you wind up texting a girl something she doesn’t like. If you offend a girl over text at any point, here’s how you handle it:

Acknowledge the fact that she didn’t like what you said, and move on. Validate her concern and let her know you understand her but demonstrate that it’s no big deal by moving the conversation with the woman forward. This gives her a chance to forgive you and forget about it completely.

Here is an abridged example of how to text a girl after she gets offended:

Her: Ew don’t call me that. That’s disgusting and honestly, I’m a little offended by it
Response: Didn’t mean to offend you my dear. You’re so sexy I was just thinking about pinning you down on my bed and making you moan.

“How do I Turn a Shy Girl on Over Text?”

When texting, make sure you’re gradually escalating and not going from talking about the weather to your deepest darkest desires within three text bubbles. You can begin by complimenting her personality and describe what you like about her whether it is her sparkling eyes or blonde hair. You can use misinterpretation to playfully tease her about how much she wants to go out with you or kiss you. 


Her: okay you are seriously the sweetest. Can I keep you?

Response: Like in a cage? Prob not… in handcuffs for a night…maybe

Gauge her response. If she sounds offended or uncomfortable, go back to regular playful texts.

Remember, the goal for texting is to take her out so that you can get to know her on a personal level. A woman might not be a texter, hence, she might not send a lot of texts. Focus on the goal of taking her out, while keeping it playful.

“How Can I Send Sexual Texts to a Girl I Just Met?”

First of all, think about the context that you met this woman in. Meeting a woman at a bar and making out with her for twenty minutes is very different than meeting someone at a networking event for your industry and hitting it off. Depending on how sexual your initial conversation was, you can adjust how sexual your messages will be. It is important to keep the first message playful, teasing her and referring back to the conversation. For someone you already flirted with in person, an example could be: “Hey delicious blueberry muffin, it was great chatting earlier. Are you always so smiley? – Your Name”

On the other hand, if you met at a networking event, you could say, “Hey Emily, it was great to meet you at the mastermind. I like your adventurous spirit. Are you always so friendly? – Your Name”

Then, you can slowly move onto flirting. The crucial point is to see how she responds. If she’s enjoying your comments, see if you can take it one step further. If she seems uncomfortable, go back to regular conversation. Keep in mind that being sexual over text does not mean anything if you don’t schedule time in person. If you like her, take her out on a date and see if you enjoy her company.

“How Can I Turn a Girl on Over Tinder?”

Firstly, make sure your profile contains high quality pictures where you are smiling and are dressed well. Show your hobbies and what you enjoy doing, as a way to filter the right people into your life. On Tinder, attractive girls will have their inbox flooded with messages from different guys, ranging from “What’s up?” to very sexual ones that are offensive. You can stand out by keeping it playful without being needy. For example, you can misinterpret what she is saying and turn the dynamics around by making it seem like she is chasing you. If she says “I love the Matcha Lattes in this coffee shop. You should totally check it out sometime.”, you could say “Whoa, I wanted to get to know each other more before our first date, but I like where your head’s at :)” 

A lot of guys get very invested in texting women and try to convince them to go out with them. If you can be that guy who communicates his standards, you will stand out. Remember to exchange phone numbers if you are interested in the person, as that will be an indication of whether the other person wants to actually go out with you.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction