How to Make Someone Like You over Text

Ever wondered how to get someone to like you over text? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Getting someone interested in you just by texting will be easy if you follow these tips.

At its core, getting someone to like you over text is really an extension of the banter lessons we teach at The Art of Charm.

The Most Important Thing When Flirting by Text

Whether you’re texting someone you just met or someone you’ve known a while, the most important piece of advice for texting someone you find attractive is to have fun. Always keep your texts playful and lighthearted. Making someone smile and light up when they see your message is the key to getting someone to like you over text.

How to Make Your Romantic Interest Smile over Text

You may not be able to see their face, but here are some surefire ways to make your romantic interest smile by text.

  • Tease them. Don’t be afraid to poke fun at someone you’re texting in a playful, good-natured way. Not only does teasing someone makes them laugh, but it shows that you’re not just a suck-up. Teasing alone can show that you have confidence, and this will help build attraction. Here’s an example of a fun text to send someone that reflects this confident, playful teasing: “You’re a closet dork, aren’t you…except without the closet!”
  • Make fun of yourself. A surefire way to get someone to smile over text is to make fun of yourself in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. By making fun of yourself, you get them laughing and show that it’s okay for them to let their guard down. They’ll feel more comfortable with you, which will allow them to become more attracted to you. Examples: “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” or “Take my advice — I’m not using it!”
  • Guess their answers. Another way to have fun and keep your texts interesting is to guess how they might answer. This is a great way to spice up your texts, separate yourself from others, and ultimately get them interested in you. For example, your text could read: “What are you up to this weekend? Let me guess…taking a speed knitting class so you can make me a scarf! You are sooo sweet!”
  • Roleplay. The same banter techniques that work in meeting and attracting someone in person also work great over text. Initiate a scenario in which you’re already a couple in some capacity: a husband and wife headed toward divorce, a rock star and a groupie, a pair of buddy cops on the case — anything else you can think of. Bantering through made-up roleplay is great; it provides a playful way to create a shared experience that makes the other person smile and feels more connected to you by sharing what your collaborative imaginations can come up with. Examples of how to get the roleplay rolling: “Green Sparrow, I’ve got the target in my sights! Should I take the shot? Over!” or “I’m in the lab inventing a new ice cream flavor. What should I bring us home for dessert, dear?”

Make Them Chase You

When seeking romance, we tend to go for the ones who provide us with some kind of challenge — and this goes both ways. Making things too easy for your prospective partner can be a turn-off, so give them the chance to chase you. You can do this by following these two texting tips:

  • Disqualify yourself. To look more confident and avoid coming across as needy, playfully disqualify yourself from your crush’s dating pool. That is a joke about how the two of you would never be right for each other. You could, for instance, text something like: “Woah, woah! You like [thing s/he likes]? I didn’t know you were that type! I might have to get my mom’s permission just to kick it with you…” By playfully pushing away like this, you create that space for the other person to chase you.
  • Do not over text. This is a big one as too much texting can destroy attraction. As a general rule, whoever is putting the most effort into communication is the one doing the chasing. So if you want to be pursued rather than the pursuer, then you must not over text. Instead, look to keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and text the other person about as frequently as they text you.

Make Someone Feel Special over Text

Another trick to make someone like you over text is to stroke their ego. Let them know they’ve made a positive impact on you and that they’re still on your mind. An example of this would be: “I just saw the cutest little squirrel in the park gathering nuts and it made me think of you!” A text like this is going to make the other person feel special — and making someone feel good is a surefire way to get them to like you.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Building A Connection, Flirting And Attraction