Give Up the Girl Chase: How to Have Her Chasing You

girl chaseOur goal at The Art of Charm isn’t to teach you how to chase women better; we want you to give up the girl chase entirely and get them chasing you. Sound far-fetched? It’s not. What’s more, getting her to chase you is a lot easier than you probably think.

Why Women Chase Men

Make no mistake about it: Women chase men. But what type of man does a woman chase after? Most of all, a woman is going to chase after a confident man with a high value. “High value” doesn’t mean that he’s got the best job or that he’s the most attractive. It means that he’s able to make those around him feel comfortable and good about themselves. More than anything else, it means that he values himself a lot — not the fake value that comes with arrogance, but the quiet, understated value of a man who doesn’t feel he needs to prove himself to anyone.

You can become this type of man. Until that day comes, you can pretend effectively enough to convince everyone around you by following these simple rules.

Rule #1: You Come First

This rule comes first for a reason: You need to come first in your life. This means before you can have a vibrant social and dating life, that you need to have your own house in order. The first priority is your work and career, the two priorities that make all overs possible. Next, you need to make time for your passions, interests and hobbies. These are an important part of you, one that you shouldn’t skimp out on.

Not only does this increase your value by sending a subtle message that you value yourself, it also says that your time is valuable and finite. You only have so much to spend on other people, which brings us to our next rule.

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Rule #2: You Don’t Have Time For Everyone

It’s just a simple fact: You only have so much time, and you have even less to spend on other people. This means that you have to prioritize how you’re going to spend your time, with yourself coming first. After that, you need to prioritize who you spend your surplus time with. Don’t feel like you have to date every woman that you meet and are attracted to. Instead, save your time for the ones that you like the most. Imagine that you have a smartphone filled with the most desirable women in the world. Now evaluate which new women you meet that you have enough time for.

Rule #3: Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

There are two things that “walk away” can mean: First, it can mean taking a quick break from an interaction at a bar, taking a lap around the room, meeting back up with your friends, grabbing a drink and then connecting back up with the woman you were just talking to. It can also mean walking away from a relationship for good.

Either way, you shouldn’t be afraid to do it. It shows that you value your time and your energy. It also shows that you don’t need another person to feel good about yourself or even to have a good time. Before a conversation at a bar or club even starts to lag a bit, take a lap. If a relationship isn’t working out, walk away.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1173 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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