How to Charm Women with Humor

Friends hanging outsideWe all know that a sense of humor is one of the most attractive traits a man can have.  But if you don’t know how to charm women with humor then this trait can backfire.  You could wind up as “the funny guy” stuck in the friend-zone – or discover that your sense of humor turns women off.  To avoid such fates and learn how to charm women with humor, read on.

Avoid low-value humor to attract women

The first thing to keep in mind when learning how to charm women with humor is to avoid low-value humor.  This means no insults or put-downs during your conversations with women.  Playful teasing is fine (and will be covered in detail later on) but jokes that merely cut people down and make others look bad will ultimately reflect poorly on you.  It’s the kind of low-value humor that turns women off.

(For more on how to attract women with high-value humor check out the Art of Charm Podcast with Zach Browman)

Make a girl laugh with the right attitude

Trying to make a woman laugh and hoping to show a girl how funny you are is the wrong attitude to have when looking to charm women.  This needy, approval-seeking mindset does nothing more than show a lack of confidence with women.

If you want to charm women with humor, don’t worry about making the woman laugh.  Focus instead on making yourself laugh.  Be self-amusing and have fun first, then look to share that enjoyment with her.  By focusing on having a good time yourself you’ll generate a fun, positive attitude that will infect those around you and make you more charming to women.

How to attract women with humor

Some guys think that attracting women with humor means they have to rattle off joke after joke like a stand-up comedian.  But you’ll have more success charming women with humor if you make it an interactive experience.  Be more like an improv performer and use playful banter and get her to joke along with you.  This make it more fun for the woman, gets the girl to feel connected to you, and ultimately makes it more likely you’ll get the girl interested in you.  Here are a few banter examples that will give you an idea of what banter with women can look like:

 Banter example #1: Role Play

Come up with fun characters for the two of you to play.  For example during your conversation with a woman you could playfully say something like “How about the two of us tour the country robbing banks” and create a whole Bonnie and Clyde-like scenario where the two of you are on the run from the FBI.  (The more detail you can put into these scenarios, the more enjoyable bantering with women is going to be.)

Banter example #2: Playful teasing

Another banter technique that’s great for flirting with women is playful teasing.  For instance you could playfully tease a girl about how she is shamelessly hitting on you (even if she isn’t).  Perhaps challenge her to “Give me your best pickup line” or joke about how she’s trying to get you drunk and take advantage of you.  (Just be sure to keep a smile on your face as you tease her so she knows it’s all in good fun.)

The great thing about bantering with women is that the fun isn’t over after just one banter line.  You can continue playing these roles and exploring these scenarios for a long time – even creating an ongoing inside joke between the two of you.  (For a deeper look into how to banter with women check out the Art of Charm podcasts on bantering with women)

Get women interested in you through funny stories

A good story can not only make a woman laugh, it can be used to build rapport with women.  Telling a funny story about something from your past gives her an insight into who you are and your life experiences – which is going to make the woman feel closer to you.

To make sure you always have a funny story that will make a girl laugh ready to go, take some time and brainstorm your best stories.  Think of funny things that have happened to you or weird people you’ve met.  Write these stories down and practice telling them.  That way when you have the opportunity during your conversations with women to get her laughing with a funny story, you’ll be ready.

But just having a funny story to tell a girl isn’t enough.  If you want to get the girl interested you’ve got to tell that story in an entertaining way.  To do this, as you tell the story really focus on the feelings you experienced as the event occurred.  The more you can relive it and feel as though you’re experiencing it again for the first time – the more fun she’s going to have listening to it. (For more storytelling tips on how to charm women, check out the Art of Charm podcast on how to build rapport through storytelling)

The dangers of making women laugh

Making a woman laugh too frequently can actually be a bad thing.  If a woman only sees you as the fun, jokey guy then she’s never going to see you as a sexual option.  Before long you’re going to find yourself stuck in the friend-zone.

So to get women interested in you be sure to occasionally drop the jokes and just be open about how you feel.  This vulnerability will get women attracted to you as it shows women confidence and allows women to feel more connected to you.

Some examples of things you could say to a girl to show vulnerability would be “Hi, you’re really cute and I wanted to meet you”, “I want to take you out this weekend” or “I want to kiss you right now”.  Being open with how you feel about a girl is crucial for building that deep attraction with women.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

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