When it comes to attraction, eye contact does a lot. You can use eye contact to show a girl you’re interested, to gauge her interest, and to create or deepen her attraction in you. This article will cover all of that, and will even touch on the secret that allows you to make perfect eye contact with a woman every time.
Using eye contact to show interest
Eye contact and attraction go hand in hand; the simplest way to show a girl you’re interested in her is through eye contact. It may seem like a subtle sign of interest to guys, but to women, it’s clear as day. But to do it right, you want to avoid the mistake most guys make in giving too much eye contact too soon.
You see, your eye contact reflects your level of interest, and interest becomes more valuable the more she has to work for it. So if you’re at a bar and just started talking to a girl you don’t know, then you want to make eye contact about 50% of the time. The rest of the time can be spent looking elsewhere (if you stand shoulder to shoulder, rather than face to face, it’s easy to casually look away). As the interaction progresses and she proves that she’s an awesome girl, you’ll want to reward her with more interest. This is when you give her more and more eye contact.
Using eye contact to gauge interest
Eye contact is the most common indicator a girl is interested in you. If you’re wondering whether or not that girl across the room wants to meet you, here are a few ways eye contact will let you know:
If a girl makes eye contact with you, looks away, and then looks back at you all within about 30 seconds…she’s interested.
If you lock eyes with a girl and she immediately looks down and away, that’s a sign of embarrassment. She’s probably interested, but just feels shy.
If you lock eyes with a girl for a longer period of time than the usual quick glance – even if it’s just 2-3 seconds – it’s a sign she’s likely interested.
Create attraction with confident eye contact
Our eyes express our emotional state. Anytime you allow someone to look into your eyes you’re allowing them to see how you feel at that moment. You’re making yourself vulnerable and letting them get a glimpse of the real you. And this is why eye contact and attraction are so strongly connected. Eye contact is an incredibly strong indicator of confidence.
When someone feels insecure they will have a hard time maintaining eye contact. Their eyes will likely dart around the room as a means of “hiding”. But when someone feels confident, maintaining eye contact comes easily. A confident man is able to keep a strong, steady gaze. His eyes don’t dart nervously, they move with purpose and intention.
So when you’re talking to a woman, keep a steady gaze. When you look away to do so with purpose and intention and avoid nervous darting. It’ll help you come across as more confident, which will help generate those feelings of attraction in her.
Once you establish your confidence with eye contact, you automatically start the attraction process and you’ll want to keep that going. Check out the Attraction Alchemy System to learn how to nail your first impression and get more dates.
Create attraction with friendly eye contact
Plenty of guys can make strong, steady eye contact but still find they’re unable to connect or build much attraction. This usually is a result of how they make eye contact. To build attraction eye contact needs to show more than confidence. It also needs to show that you’re a positive, friendly guy. And the way to do this is by “smiling with your eyes”.
Listen or watch something that makes you laugh really hard. When you’re done laughing, notice how your eyes feel and take a look at them in a mirror. You can see and feel that warm positivity coming from your eyes. Remember that feeling, because that’s what you want to have whenever you make eye contact with a woman. You’ll project a warm, friendly vibe and she’ll be more receptive to you.
The secret to perfect, effortless eye contact
Sure eye contact shows confidence and interest, but that’s not what it’s really about. What eye contact is really about, is giving. It’s about giving the woman attention and respect, and showing her that you appreciate her for the beautiful person she is (and not just physical beauty). When you’re able to see a woman in that light – to look at her and appreciate her for who she is – then perfect, effortless eye contact (the steady gaze, smiling with your eyes, knowing when to hold eye contact and when to look away) all comes naturally.
Eye contact bonus! What to do when you get caught staring at a woman
When you’re checking out a girl and she catches you, what do you do? Lots of guys out there will feel embarrassed, avert their eyes, and act like nothing happened. Their eyes will often dart down and away, as if to tell the woman “sorry I was checking you out”.
But all this does is show a lack of confidence. And if that’s her first impression, then building up any attraction is going to be incredibly difficult. So instead of apologizing, own up to it. Maintain that eye contact and attraction will have a chance to be created.
Besides, there’s nothing wrong with letting a girl know she’s attractive and has caught your attention. It’s flattering. So long as you’re not creepy about it, there’s nothing to worry about. And to ensure you don’t come off as creepy, all you’ve got to do is relax and give her a nice smile.
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Can Eye Contact be Intimidating?
Yes, it is natural to be intimidated by eye contact. The feeling of being looked at makes us more self conscious about what we are doing. Also, looking into someone’s eyes might make it harder to maintain the conversation and pay attention to what they are saying. It can make us feel unsure of what we’re about to say or unsure of how we look. If you feel intimidated by eye contact, you can try holding longer eye contact with someone who you feel more comfortable with or don’t feel sexual tension with. Then, slowly move onto a harder target. Putting yourself in gradually uncomfortable situations will help build up your skills, to a point where making eye contact with your crush will feel the same way as making eye contact with a close friend.
What Does it Mean When Someone Avoids Eye Contact?
People can avoid eye contact for many reasons so combine it with other body language signals before reaching a conclusion. If someone avoids eye contact because they feel uncomfortable, her body language will probably also be closed off (her arms will be crossed and she will be trying to get physically smaller). She could also be shy or intimidated. In that case, there will probably be other signs that she does want to talk to you (ex. Her feet are pointed towards you, etc). Hence, combine the lack of eye contact with her other body language signals to see how she might be feeling. Remember that you’re only making an educated guess and that you cannot know how someone else is feeling for sure.
Can Eye Contact Lead to Attraction?
Yes. Eye contact is a great way to both create and gauge attraction. Prolonged eye contact can increase arousal if it is coming from a potential sexual partner. You can also tell if a smile is genuine through the eyes, which helps understand if someone is actually attracted to you. People who are mutually attracted to each other hold eye contact for longer and their pupils dilate. Holding strong eye contact and smiling through your eyes allows you to build tension and understand how much the other person is interested in you.