Want to know how to attract any girl? It starts by getting the girl interested in you and curious about you. With that foundation, you can gradually build a lasting attraction with any beautiful woman.
As for how to spark that interest and curiosity, I’m here to answer that age-old question and get you on a path to the success with women you want.
Table of contents
If you’re needy, you’re not attracting women
Needy behavior is an instant turn-off because it communicates a lack of self-respect, self-love, and self-confidence. If you want to attract women, you must be able to hold your own and not come across as clingy or dependent.
A high-value man doesn’t need attention and validation from anyone to know his value. He recognizes his own value and makes a conscious effort to appreciate the value in those around him. As a result, he will attract women because he comes across as secure in who he is and how he moves through the world.
And this means he can be trusted to be himself, unlike a needy man who will do and say anything to get the attention he needs to feel good about himself. That will not attract women.
What does it look like to be needy?
When you first meet a woman, you can come across as needy if you respond to her texts immediately. It conveys to her you have nothing going on in your life and your number one priority is responding to this relative stranger you just met.
You also look like a needy man if you never disagree with the woman you’re talking to. Women tend to be suspicious of people who agree with everything they say because humans unconsciously understand everyone has different beliefs and opinions.
So if you agree with everything a woman says, it conveys that you prioritize wanting her approval over being true to yourself. And that means you can’t be trusted because you’re choosing to deceive her rather than express how you actually feel or think.
We’re all a little needy from time to time
It’s ok to feel needy, like when you want to respond to a text immediately because you really like her. But just because you feel that way, it doesn’t mean you should act on it.
Just because you want ice cream, it doesn’t mean you should go out and get it. If you acted on every emotion and impulse you experience, how much time would you have to do anything meaningful in life?
Side note—You are not deceiving her by delaying your response. You are respecting yourself and your time by refusing to let a device dictate how you spend your time. A high-value man is not reactive to his environment. He is intentional in his thoughts, words, and actions.
Experiencing emotions makes you human, but acting on every emotion you experience makes you weak and unattractive. If you can’t handle your own emotions, why would a woman expect you to be a source of stability and strength in her everyday life?
Adopt confident body language to attract women
Out of all the attractive traits to have, confidence is the one irresistible trait if you want to attract women. And most women can tell right away whether or not you’re confident just by looking at your body language (including your facial expressions).
For example, if you’re fidgeting or making yourself look “small” in your environment, women will see you as lacking confidence.
So the first step to attracting women is to adopt confident body language.
Keep your body movements calm and controlled. Make yourself big. Make eye contact. Don’t be afraid to take up room and claim the space immediately around you.
If that’s difficult due to feeling nervous or uncomfortable, take slow, deep breaths while focusing on the sensations in your body (can you feel your feet?). This will help you relax and allow that confident body language to come out naturally.
Improve your body language with this one easy exercise
If you want an easy way to improve your body language and confidence, remember the Art of Charm Doorway Drill:
- Every time you walk through a doorway, imagine there’s a string attached to the top of your head. Picture that string pulling you up until you are standing straight.
- Then roll your shoulders back and down.
- Rest your hands at your sides. Don’t cross them in front of you (this makes you look defensive), and don’t put your hands in your pockets (this makes you look smaller).
- Smile with your eyes. Think about when you have a genuine smile on your face. You can feel the skin around the outside corners of your eyes scrunch up. This is the kind of smile you should be wearing.
If you practice this drill every time you walk through a doorway, you will be exuding confidence in no time, and women will notice. And if you want more confidence-building tips like this, we’re here to help!
Get her laughing
If you want to attract girls, make them laugh.
Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk!
Anyway…
Every girl wants a guy who can make her laugh. And there’s no better time to prove you have that ability than at the beginning of the conversation.
Get a girl to smile early on and it’ll help her relax and feel comfortable talking to you. All while sparking that interest and attraction.
One technique you can use to start a conversation and get a girl laughing is playful teasing. This is particularly effective because most guys are too insecure to playfully tease a girl right off the bat.
By starting your conversations this way you show you’re not intimidated by beautiful women. You can get her laughing and show tremendous confidence at the same time, and that instantly attracts women.
What does this look like?
Here are two examples of how to start a conversation with playful teasing:
- “You’d look cute in a purple Mohawk”
- “Excuse me, I’m trying to have a guy’s night out and you totally ruined it. You’re too damn cute”.
- “You look like you’re up to no good.”
- “Your parents would never approve of us.”
Lines like these can get a conversation started on a fun, playful note. Just make sure you’re smiling to convey your playful attitude.
Make her win you over
Projecting confidence and making a girl laugh are common tips for how to attract any girl. But there’s another tip that’s equally important that doesn’t get nearly as much discussion.
It’s called qualification.
Qualification is all about getting the woman to prove that she’s a cool, interesting girl. It shows you’re a man with standards who doesn’t invest his time and attention in just any beautiful woman.
When you actively filter single women like this they see you as a high-value guy. They will then put more effort into keeping your interest and attention. It’s easier to have success with women when they’re chasing you instead of you chasing them.
What does this look like?
After bantering with a girl you can start qualifying by asking questions like:
- “Hey, you’re fun to talk to, what’s your story?”
- “What are three things I wouldn’t know about you by looking?”
These questions are great because they’re open-ended and allow the girl to share as much information as she feels comfortable. They also give you a great chance to get to know her.
Find out if she truly is a cool, interesting girl
In addition to having fun, your other goal is to find out if someone is actually interesting.
Sexual attraction is the spark that gets you curious about talking to someone. But after that, the goal should be to find out if the woman is actually interesting enough to bring into your own life. Is her personality as attractive as her appearance?
As men, it’s easy for us to get hung up on physical beauty. But the truth is, a beautiful woman is not necessarily a high-value woman. A high-value woman is someone who is interesting, enjoyable to be around, and adds value to the people in her life.
If you approach meeting people with this simple mindset shift, you will come off as more high value because it makes you selective.
Create an emotional connection
In order to know how to attract any girl, it’s important to know how to connect with any girl. That is, how to build an emotional connection so she feels close to you, and you feel close to her.
One way to build that emotional connection with a girl is to use the “I” perspective when speaking. Express your thoughts, opinions—and most importantly your emotions—directly.
What does this look like?
Saying “I love Game of Thrones” gives her a glimpse into your emotional world, but you’re not giving her anything to latch onto. Instead, say “I love Game of Thrones because…” and explain one or two reasons you love it.
Talking about your personal experiences, rather than objective facts, is going to get her feeling connected to you.
But do not brag. Talking too much about yourself is a turn-off for high-value women. Find a balance by sharing just enough to create an emotional connection without coming across as arrogant or self-absorbed.
Pro-tip: if you want to tell a cool story from your own life, remember to end it with a lesson you learned so you’re sharing value with your audience, and not just bragging about something you’ve done.
Getting to know someone is a dance. It is a balance of leading and following. Both of you have to participate for the dance to work. But someone has to lead and you’re the man so take the lead and enjoy the dance.
If this sounds like too much trial and error, Conversation Magic streamlines the process so you can flirt effortlessly, create emotional connections on demand, and use the 9 emotional triggers to get anyone interested in you fast.
Build sexual tension
No article on how to attract any girl would be complete without a tip on how to build sexual tension and direct sexual desire.
After all, this is what keeps you out of the friend zone.
One of the most effective ways to build sexual tension with women is through physical contact. Start touching early on in your conversation by lightly tapping the back of your hand against her elbow.
If she’s okay with that contact, you can gradually increase physical contact for longer periods of time in more intimate areas (shoulder, back, thigh, face).
When do you touch more (or less)
The key to knowing when you should touch more (or less) is to check for compliance. If she allows you to touch her, or starts touching you in response, then you can take things a step further with your touch.
However, if she recoils or moves away when you touch her, then give her space. Build more comfort through banter and creating an emotional connection. When she’s more comfortable, try again to build that sexual tension through physical contact.
A high-value man is not afraid to pursue a woman he’s attracted to, but he also shows her the utmost respect in the process.
Detach yourself from the outcome
One thing that will help you tremendously when learning how to attract women is being unattached to the outcome.
That is to say, don’t get hung up on whether or not you get a phone number, a date, or even get a girl to like you. Just enjoy the process of meeting women and focus on having fun.
If you’re not looking to get anything from your interactions with women then you’ll have no trouble being confident, fun, open, and sexual with women.
Make this feel natural
The best way to make this your natural way of being is to get lots of experience talking and flirting with women. Make a point to talk to at least three women a day and practice the techniques mentioned in this article and elsewhere on the site.
If you want to know how to attract any girl, you must first be willing to approach any girl. And you’re a human, you’re perfectly capable of walking up to another human.
But if three women sounds like too much, just start with one. Start somewhere. Reading all of this won’t do you any good if you don’t apply it in your everyday life.
As a result, the more experience you get the less you’ll care about each individual interaction.
Focus on having fun with the process and you will find women interested in you and excited to date you.
Don’t focus on the fun you hope to have with the women you’re meeting. That will add unnecessary pressure on you to come up with the perfect thing to say in every interaction.
In a Nutshell—How to Attract Any Girl
Follow the tips in this article and you will know how to attract any girl.
Don’t act on needy impulses. We all feel needy at times, but feeling a certain way doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Only needy women go for needy men.
Use body language to build confidence. Most girls can identify insecure men from a mile away based on how they carry themselves. Make eye contact and use the Art of Charm doorway drill to start building your confidence now.
Get a girl attracted to you: make her laugh. Use your sense of humor to find out if she shares your sense of humor. If she doesn’t, why would you want to spend time with her?
Qualify her with questions that get her to win you over. Find out if the woman you’re attracted to is actually worth your time. An attractive high-value man has standards about who he allows into his amazing life.
Ask questions to create an emotional connection. As humans, we connect on shared emotional experiences, not facts. When you talk about something you’re interested in, remember to explain why you’re interested in it.
Use physical contact to build sexual tension. We all have sexual desires and girls love when a man can acknowledge those desires, respect them, and have fun with them.
Be outcome-independent so you can enjoy the process of meeting women. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong, but we’re here to help!
If you don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up, check out Conversation Magic to make sure you don’t crash and burn. With our proven formula, you’ll be flirting up a storm, sparking unforgettable conversations, and attracting the high-quality women you want to date!
