What to Say to a Girl to Get Her Back

If you break up with a girl, getting her back can be one of the hardest things that you do in life. However, if you want to give it a shot, there are some tips on what to say to a girl to get her back, or at least make it easier. The Art of Charm has put together this handy guide to helping you get your ex back, starting today. That’s right, we are going to teach you how to win your girlfriend back!

young Couple sitting on the sofa during conflict

Give Both of You Space

The first thing that you need to do if you want to try and get a girl back is to give her space. This is the type of situation where you want to get her to come back to you. Thus, you don’t want to do anything that can be perceived as you chasing after her. This means giving both of you space to breathe after the breakup. There’s a really good chance that she’s going to miss you just as much as you miss her and that’s what’s going to bring that girl back into your life. But it’s not going to happen if you don’t allow both of you room to breathe.

Let Her Initiate Contact

Sooner or later, it happens that the girl that you broke up with — or even the girl that broke up with you — decides that she needs to initiate contact with you again. This is the time that you’re waiting for. Letting her initiate contact is the best way to do things because it allows her to chase after you. This puts you on a stronger footing when it comes to getting your girl back. If you chase after her, chances are good that all you’re going to do is drive her away.

Take the Time to Build Yourself Up

The best of what to say to a girl to get her back is not to say anything at all. Rather, you want to do things that are going to get her to come back to you. You’re familiar with the term “living well is the best revenge?” Well, improving yourself and becoming a better person in every way possible is the best way to get your ex back in your life. Hit the gym, take some classes, give yourself time for your hobbies and your passions. Believe me, she’s going to hear about it and see the changes that are happening in your life. This is what’s going to make her want to be a part of your life again.

Tell Her How You’ve Been Spending Your Time

After she initiates contact with you, now is the time to say the things that are going to get this girl back in your life. What types of things are those? Mostly how you’ve been spending your time, being productive, bettering yourself, and overall being happy. Wallowing in misery is one of the least sexy things in the world. On the other hand, a happy man who is making strides toward being the type of man that he’s always wanted to be? It doesn’t get any better than that.

Don’t be gross about it, but don’t be afraid to mention if you’re dating someone else. First of all, she deserves to know. Second of all, there are fewer things women want more than the things that they can’t have.

Ask Her Out

Of course, any process of getting a girl back into your life is going to end with you asking her out. After the two of you have been talking for a bit, tell her that you’d like to get together sometime. Make it something like a first date so that you two can focus more on excitement than on the past. That is exactly how to make your girlfriend love you again.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1157 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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54 Comments on “What to Say to a Girl to Get Her Back”

  1. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday and it was like the whole world is gonna crumble I am so sad now and I need her back please help me…I love her so much and I am incomplete without her…I have not been myself since and I am not now please…it is just like my heart is gonna break in two’s

  2. Yo I know what you mean my girl broke up with me today it sucks and man this is a pain but I am gonna try to get her back

  3. I have broken up with my girlfriend because she just jumped into another guy that do anything I haven’t done for her I really want to get her out of my mind and leave better than i was so please help me

  4. breakups are the worst, 11/9/19. Everything just seemed so fine and it just happened all of a sudden. I don’t know what to do rn but this is very helpful. Thanks

  5. My husband changed dramatically towards me, doesn’t communicate anymore.He disrespects me and accuses me falsely of infidelity because of wicked gossip …but I’m simply AMAZED at the results of priest manuka who did reunion love spell for me. Everything is going so well and EXACTLY how he said it would be. Even though it took 5 days to fully progress, it was so worth it because things are just about at perfection! How he took my situation and completely turned it around to give me exactly what I wanted is beyond me, but something I will never question and just be completely grateful, God Bless priest manuka for turning sorrow happiness. i will live his contact here also. [ lovesolutiontemple1 @ gmail. com]

  6. Damn…I’m not the only one….

    This is the 2nd time I’ve lost her. First time was after only about 4 months together. This one was after two years together…. First time took me a month and a half to get her back. This time it’s already passed that. We still talk daily….but I’m gonna try to get her back soon.

    1. Bro that’s all it takes is daily talking and consistency and both of y’all would reestablish those feelings and come together again, just remember to try harder to keep her when y’all do get back together.

  7. Don’t give up on here though I lost my girl for two weeks and then we got back together. Whatever you do don’t hate her or treat her differently. Give so space and clear your mind and try again.

  8. Its a really difficult thing guys,i lost my girl the day after we were supposed to move in together.That was some kind of thing unheard of.
    I cried;i made myself strong.Its not easy,its now about a week,i pray to have her back everyday. She checks my WhatsApp statuses everyday,same applies to me.
    She tries to tell me via statuses to be strong but i won’t give up on her because she is the only person i want to be with.She understands me better i do understand her better too..I would give her time as per the guiders advice.I will follow instructions in order to get her back.She has been closer to me,she is accusing me of things unheard of.Which are not even true. I understand her emotions but she is accusing the wrong person.
    I love you her and i want her back.I want things back to normal.I’m just an innocent soul.

  9. I don’t know what to do. I had an argument with my girlfriend last month and I have been trying to settle it now all these while but still she refuses to listen. I tried my best tried and tried then she ended up blocking me but maybe it’s time to give her some space and let her think. I pray to God almighty that she comes back to me. I pray so oh lord

  10. the same thing happened to me on Valentine’s day and i haven’t been my self either and I need help she was my world/everything.

    1. My girl broke up with my after 5 long years together… she left me on March 27th… it shattered my word and now she barely even answers my texts & she never picks up my calls

      1. Bro give her time even my girlfriend left me on 26th march 2020
        Everything is going to be fine u should stay strong
        Even when she left me I got addicted to drugs bad habits do not do that shit in ur life
        Once if she feels she wants you she will txt some day and u don’t express ur love on the first day txt for some days and then say what all u did when she lefts you
        Thank you

  11. My girlfriend broke up with me last month ,shes dating another guy. Since than I haven’t been myself I feel lonely all time, I really love her so much she means the whole world to me.Please I need advice on how to get her back plz.

  12. Damn I feel all you guys, my girlfriend hasn’t broken up with me but sure feels like it. Her attraction for me is at an all time low, this is the first time it has every happened to me as this is the first time ever through all of my relationships that I’ve ever loved someone this much.I am completely lost and have had a look at so many blogs but I just can’t bare the fact that if I don’t do something it will all just END.

  13. My girl broke up with me on 3/3/20, i just want to know how much time i need to give her, ive never felt this kind of pain😞

    1. I feel the same I’m only 16 and my girlfriend broke up with me because I told her I didn’t trust her but at that time I didn’t know what was happening to myself I had family problems and she told me a old friend that was a boy was messaging her so at that time I panicked and thought the worst and instead of letting things play out I tried to intervene and made it worse I want to know how long to leave her but I found out she was messaging a boy she was messaging before me a day after breaking up with me I want to speak to her but everyone keeps telling me to wait for her to message me but I can’t wait I want to be with her but don’t know how long to wait so I’m in the same boat as you

  14. My girlfriend also broke up with me I was doing for her every thing there was nothing she needed in her life but the problem is she broke up with me because of the family members her family doesn’t appreciate what I do for them I need help on this one what can I do

  15. I love my girlfriend so much but I screwed up big time, I need help I was too busy I did not really have time to hangout somebody pls help me I need her back

  16. I broke up with my girlfriend today she said she needs time but I am so desperate for her I just miss her so much I just want her back I need help me out I just can’t live without her she is everything I need my life my love my happiness lies in her

  17. Yeah, man me and my girl been broken up for almost a month and I’m going crazy too man, we still talk and I know she loves me so all I’ve been doing is trying to be happy or fake it and be productive to win her back, I really need ya prayers I really want to marry her one day.

  18. I’m from north Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, Robinson buckler brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spiritualist that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spiritualist, I want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spiritualist, he is real,he is powerful and whatever he says will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is [email protected] gmail (.) com_______________________________

  19. Accept the fact that it’s going to hurt for a while. Whether it’s a few weeks or a few months.

    Just remember to let go of the negative experiences; turn those into something positive. Focus on your faults and mistakes, those are the only things you have control over and the power to change. Don’t hold any grudges. Whatever her mistakes and faults were, that’s something she needs to deal with, not you.

    And once you let go of that, take some time to reflect on all the positive experiences. Take the time to appreciate the moments you shared that made you into the person you are today. It may seem like she was the only one for you, but there’s always someone else out there for you. Whoever that is, is a stranger now, and if you don’t learn to let go, they’ll always be a stranger.

  20. Everything was going good when we were together in college. Than suddenly this Corona situation came up than we got separate from each other she went to her country and I came back to mine, it went good for a month I was giving her time texting her, talking calls, video calls.

    One day she suddenly stopped replying to my text. I asked her why aren’t replying to text she was like I can’t do the long distance relationship and than she said that she doesn’t feel the same about me. Now she gets irritated even if call her by the name I use to call her when we were together, she gets irritated on simple things. She doesn’t reply me properly. It been 1 month now I feel so empty and lonely from inside. I love her so much. I want her back in my life the way she was before.

    Someone please help me 🙏🙏

  21. I’ve chested a few times since I’ve been with my girlfriend and the last time which I’m January topped it all up. We tried to work things out for a few months but she hasn’t quite got around of working it out with me. Recently she decided we need to go on a break till she decides she wants to be with me or not. During that break, 2 days into it I spoke to 2 girls and I wasn’t flirting but she was disappointed and upset and seen it as cheating because I’m talking to girls. From then she told me to get out and bare in mind we’ve got a son together. I packed my bags and left and she requested. But I really want to change my ways and show her that I want her back and gain her trust and I have little chance that it could happen so I don’t know where I should start.

  22. My girlfriend dumped me saying I am draining her energy, emotional and her happiness. I’ve been begging her but she blocked me I can’t get hold of her now. Will she miss me an come back to me?

  23. Me and my girl broke up because I neglected her time and time again. I’ve been trying to get her back for 3 months and every time things are going good I freak out because things are happening fast enough and I set us back to square one. I’m so good at giving relationship advice but it’s so much easier said than done and I can never fully execute. I love your stories and feel all your pain. It’s so hard not talking 24/7 but talking to someone in the same boat feels amazing. If anyone wants to talk to feel better I promise it will. Please don’t call or text whenever you want to help eachother feel better. 401-302-9516! Thanks guys stay strong we’re all in this together. I wish everyone could end up with the person that they love

  24. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 21. We’ve been through a lot emotionally together. There were several HUGE fights and painful situations in our marriage, but we always seemed to come out stronger on the other side. Out of the blue my husband just sprung the divorce talk on me, I was totally depressed until I found Dr.Todd website online and i ordered for a Love spell. You won’t believe my husband called me at the exact time this spell caster finished his spell work in 24hours. I was totally amazed! He is wonderful and his spells work so fast. His contact: manifest spell cast @ gmail (.) com..

  25. Yo guys what’s up with all of you? Why are you sharing how miserable you are, just like this is the end of the world? I know it happens when someone you love brake your heart, but make some analysis why it happened and move on! don’t pussy like that! Girls need the man who proves them he is in charge, proves them that you can live up to a good and successful life even without her, so she should be chasing you!

  26. Im the one who was the problem and i feel like my dumbass could’ve done something to prevent this i wish i could do more for her ad now i feel its too late but i just want to say that i just hopes she gives me a second chance bc everyone needs one ad im sorry to her and i will love her no matter what i just want to be with her and with out her i see nothing happy .

  27. I think it’s sick that there are people in the world like you. Who try and make a profit from peoples pain. If you really wanted to help people you wouldnt charge just for your opinion Because that is all it is. I doubt your advice is any different than everything else that is out there. Only you are trying to make profit from it.

  28. thanks for this articles It was a miracle when priest Kala help me reconcile my broken marriage back in the next seven days, here is his info. (((Lovetemple0001))))@gmail.)))com)))) and
    )just in case you have similar issues, capable of solving any all kind life problem etc

  29. Well I been a asshole go my gf ever since we been talking and I regret it everyday so the break up probably felt good to her cause I showed her a person I’m not but she thinks I am and idk how to feel about this but I gotta show her I’m a great guy and want to be with het

  30. I am so happy I decided to look at the comment section. It is so nice to know you are not alone and that others are also dealing with such a hard thing. It’s so easy to feel like you are the only one experiencing hardship like this but obviously that isn’t the case at all. I am hurting too but all we can do is learn from this and focus on self improvement because that’s the only thing we can control. Sending nothing but positive energy to all of you and have faith that everything will get better if we take it in stride.

  31. My girl told me that the way she love me at first is gone and am so sad to lose her in my life so pls I need some advice

  32. Hey guys I’m gonna join you! The girl I like left me and I’m really really sad cuz she made me really happy and she got me through the roughest time of my left. We had a big talk last night. It was hard. 🙁 but I want to try and get her back cuz I really really miss her.

  33. Hey guys I’m gonna join you. I had a girl I like stop talking to me. And we been together for about year now. And I really really miss her. She made me happy. We had a big talk last night. It really sucks but I want try to get her back. I really miss her so much

  34. 9 years together.. engaged and she starts questioning our relationship saying she loves me but not in love we were ment to be married July 2020..now July 2021 but canceling because of pandemic we live together we’ll not anymore she has left me 4 days now for some space to think I am afraid she is leaving me for good I’m heartbroken

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