Banter Examples from A to Z

Banter ExamplesBanter is the foundation of attraction. How you begin an interaction will color the way the interaction unfolds. This means that it’s worth paying special attention to banter examples. We’re going to walk through what you should do from the second you walk into the room to maximize the first part of an interaction.

Pre-Banter: Entering the Room and Owning It

Ever notice that some guys just own the room the second that they enter? There’s a certain energy that some men bring to a room that has everyone lift their head and look. While this comes naturally to some men, it’s also a skill that can be learned.

Before you enter a room, put your best and brightest full-face smile on. Check your posture, stand up straight, take your hands out of your pocket and let them hang at your sides. Now walk in the room thinking confident thoughts.

First impressions don’t begin when you first see someone. They begin when they first see you. The best way to make a great first impression is to give yourself a smile and posture check before you enter the room brimming with confidence.

Banter Examples: Opening the Conversation

When you see a woman that you want to talk to, you should approach immediately. Women can spot hesitation like bloodhounds, so to maximize projecting confidence, you need to approach right away. Open the conversation with a banter line. These should be light, playful and content-free openers. Some of our favorites are:

  • “You girls look like trouble.”
  • “Has anyone ever told you that you’d look great with a big purple Mohawk?”
  • “You again! I can’t be seen talking to you.”
  • “I hate this place. I get treated like a sausage with feet.”
  • “You should quit your day job and be my bodyguard. I’ll pay you double.”

The point here is to get the conversation going with a little fun. Smile broadly when you deliver any of these to make it clear that you’re kidding around. It’s a great way for both of you to relax while you get to know one another.

Your Body Is a Tool

When you’re engaged in banter examples, your body language is a powerful tool. The lion’s share of communication is based on body language. In addition to smiling and having good posture, you should also pay attention to how you stand in relation to your banter partner.

Approach facing her, then quickly pivot to her side. Talk a bit “over your shoulder.” As the conversation progresses, turn more of the front of your body toward her. If she does something like check her phone, turn away a little bit. We call this positive and negative body language, where positive is turned more facing her and negative is more with your back to her.

Positive interactions warrant more positive body language and vice versa.

Showing Interest: Closing the Banter Chapter

Showing interest is a great conversational pivot from these banter examples to more serious conversation. At a high point during banter — when she’s laughing or smiling and generally digging the vibe — you show interest in a simple, straightforward way. Something like “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you… you’re all right” works great.

Now ask a question about her. Something general and open ended works best. For example, “Tell me three things about you I wouldn’t guess” or “So what’s your deal?” work great. They allow her to tell you whatever she feels most comfortable talking about.

By the time you get here she’s going to be comfortable and relaxed, the best jumping off point you can have.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1125 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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