How To Talk To Women You’re Attracted To

how to talk to womenKnowing how to talk to women you’re attracted to can be as simple as getting the right mindset.  Talking to women isn’t hard, but the way you view it can make it seem like a huge challenge.  If you can just change the thoughts you have about talking to women you’ll be able to have an easier time doing it.

Lots of guys will see an attractive woman and immediately talk themselves out of approaching her.  After that initial excitement of “Damn! Who’s that!?” he’ll begin to come up with excuses that prevent him from simply walking up, saying hi, and getting to know her.

He might start to assume something like “she’s probably got a boyfriend”, “she’s seems busy” or “she’s totally out of my league”.

If the guy finally gets the nerve to go talk to her he’ll often have an “I hope she likes me” attitude – and nothing turns a woman off like a guy who desperately wants to be liked.

It’s no wonder then that so many guys are looking to learn how to talk to women.  They’ve become too good at convincing themselves not to talk to girls.  This has kept them from getting the practice and experience which would prove to them that not only is it no big deal – it can be pretty darn easy.

This first step then is to stop allowing these negative beliefs about attractive girls to cloud your head.  Instead redirect your thoughts to something more positive and useful.  Focus your mind on thoughts and beliefs that will actually encourage you to talk to girls and it’ll be easier to do it.  For example:

  • When you start to think “she’s probably got a boyfriend” or “she’s seems busy”, flip that around.  Tell yourself: “she must be bored/stressed/tired of meeting lame guys.  I should make her day and give her a chance to get to know someone awesome (that person being you)”.
  • Instead of immediately putting her out of your league, start thinking “ok she’s hot, but what else does she have going for her?  Does she have a good sense of humor?”  And then go find out.
  • Finally, you never want to have the attitude of “I hope she likes me” when talking to a girl.  It gives her all the power and makes you act in a very needy and unattractive way.  Instead you want to be thinking along the lines of “I wonder if we’ll get along/make a good match”.  This puts power into your hands because she has to prove herself to you.  Coming from a place of “you’ve got to prove yourself to me” will help you project more confidence and come across as a high-value guy who doesn’t settle for just anybody.

Sometimes these little reminders are enough to overcome your old thought patterns.  For other guys those old beliefs are so deep-seated that it’ll take a while to shake them.

To make sure these new thoughts and beliefs become ingrained in who you are it’s crucial that you take new action.  You’ve got to start acting in alignment with beliefs in order to solidify them (ie. Go talk to more women).  It might take a bit of effort at first, but with new beliefs and new action working together it’ll become easier and easier to talk to women as time goes on.

If you want to learn how to take the right action – how to talk to women in a way that will get them attracted to you – check out the AoC Online Academy.  It’s a six month program with hours of videos, as well as drills and exercises that will teach you everything you need to know in order to get and keep the girl.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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