What to Say to a Girl You Just Met

When figuring out what to say to a girl you just met, keep in mind that words are only a small part of the interaction.  That’s why this article contains more than just examples of what to say to a girl you just met.  It also covers the all-important topics of body language and attitude so that you can have as many things working in your favor as possible when approaching women.   Follow the tips below and you’ll have no problem meeting women and getting girls to like you right off the bat.

How to start a conversation with a girl

The key to starting a conversation with a girl you don’t know is to just be genuine and have fun with it.  Keep the conversation light, playful, and content-free.

Of course, there are a lot of different ways to do this.  So for some guidance, here are three methods (with examples) of how you can start a conversation with a girl you just met:

State what you’re thinking

Lots of guys feel silly when approaching a girl they’ve never met.  And that feeling can be the basis for a perfectly good conversation opener.  For example, just could say something like I’m going to make an idiot out of myself here, but I just had to meet you.  Women appreciate that kind of authenticity and direct confidence in men.

Tease her

Teasing a girl is great because it shows you’re the kind of guy who can have fun with her (unlike other guys who suck up to her because she’s attractive).  Just be sure to keep it fun and playful, not offensive.  Something simple like You know, you’d look cute in a purple mohawk can get the ball rolling in a fun way.  

Flirty banter

Let her know what your intention is, but keep it light by having fun with it.  An example would be “Excuse me, do you know where Starbucks is?  Just kidding, I don’t care.  I just wanted to come flirt with you.”

After the opening line, continue to keep the conversation light with a bit of banter (for more on how to banter with a girl be sure to check out the banter podcasts here).  And keep in mind that while lines like the ones above can be helpful, in the end it’s your attitude that’s going to make the biggest impact when it comes to getting a girl you just met to like you.

 

Become more attractive to women (with a simple change in attitude)

Again, the most important thing when thinking of what to say to a girl you just met is to just to have fun with it.  But a lot of guys struggle with this.  They have so much fear when talking to women that they can’t relax and be confident with women.

This fear exists because a guy will often see an approach as a chance prove himself.  He’ll want that phone number because of the validation it provides.  But tying your self-worth to the outcome of an interaction like this is exactly what causes that fear of talking to women to develop (for many guys, at least).  So if you want to overcome that approach anxiety and instead have more fun meeting women, you’ve got to change your mindset.

Instead of focusing on yourself when you approach a woman you’ve never met, shift your focus on to her.  Don’t approach because you want to get a phone number and feel validated.  Approach her because you know she’s bored from her daily routine and is sick of meeting lame guys.  Approach because you want to brighten her day and give her a chance to meet an awesome guy (you).  (Don’t think you’re awesome enough for her? Work on that by checking out the value episodes of Pickup Podcast)

When you come from this place you naturally get rid of approach anxiety.  There are no longer any worries about messing up or failing because the results don’t matter.  It’s just about doing it and enjoying the process.  Once you have that positive mindset where you see yourself as the answer to her problems and are approaching women for the sheer pleasure of it, it’ll be incredibly easy to get the girl to like you.

 

Showing confidence with women

Confidence is what all women want in a man and is one of the first things women look for in a guy.  And while feeling confident when approaching a girl you’ve never met can be a difficult task, that doesn’t mean you can’t still show confidence with women.

And the best way to show confidence when approaching a woman is through strong body language.  As you walk up, keep your head up, back straight, and shoulders back and relaxed.  Maintain eye contact with the woman and smile with both your mouth and your eyes.  This will get her to see you as a friendly, confident guy which means she’ll be more receptive to whatever you might say.  (For more on body language and attraction check out the Pickup Podcast episode on body language)

 

Make her chase you

After the initial greeting, get her to chase you by showing her a little bit of negative body language.  Turn so you’re standing more shoulder to shoulder, and not face to face.  This takes some of the pressure off of the interaction while simultaneously showing her that, if she’s going to keep your interest and attention, she’s going to have to earn it.

As the conversation continues and she proves to be a cool, interesting girl, reward her with more and more positive body language.  Turn more towards her, make more eye contact with the girl, and mix in some light touching.

A woman will place a higher value on your attention when she has to work for it.  She will see you as a challenge, which makes the whole interaction more fun for her.  Making her work like this is a simple, yet effective way to get a woman more interested in you.

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Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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