Something to Say to a Girl You Just Met

Need something to say to a girl you just met? Well this article will do you one better. Not only will it give you something to say to a girl you just met; it will show you how to talk to the girl in a way that will get her attracted to you.

Step 1: Banter with women
Bantering with women helps to ease the tension that comes along with meeting someone for the first time (remember, she’s nervous, too). If you can get a girl to smile, relax, and have fun early in the conversation, it will get her interested in you and in carrying the conversation further.

Now, the first step in how to banter with a girl successfully is to get the right mindset. You want to be like a fun, carefree kid who is just looking to have a good time. Getting the girl to smile really just becomes a side-effect of your own playful self-amusement.

As for what to say to a girl using banter, the possibilities are endless. You could, for instance, start to banter with a girl through role-play. Pretending, for example, that your husband and wife heading toward a divorce (“That’s it, we’re breaking up. I want half my stuff back – thank God for prenups…”). Another fun way to banter with a girl is to flip the script and pretend that she is hitting on you (“ummmm excuse me, my eyes are up here, missy”).

Step 2: Qualification – make her chase you
Now that she is relaxed, comfortable, and the girl is interested in you, the next step is to get her to qualify herself. Qualification allows you to signal your interest in a girl in a way that will actually make you become more attractive to the girl. Women want a man with standards and qualification is your way of showing that for a girl to keep your interest she needs to be more than just a pretty face.

To get a girl to qualify herself, all you have to do is prompt her with a question that will get her talking about herself. In a pleasant tone you could ask the girl a question like “so what’s your deal?” An open-ended question like that is a great question to ask a girl as it allows her to share with you whatever information she feels comfortable sharing.

Other good questions to ask a girl you just met would be “so what kind of things do you do for fun?” or “what adventures have you been up to lately?” If you’re meeting a girl in the daytime or in a low-key environment, simply asking “so what do you have going on the rest of the day?” is a perfectly good question to ask a girl that will get her to open to you.

Step 3: Building rapport with a woman
Banter and qualification are great for getting a girl attracted to you initially. But if you want that attraction with a woman to last you need to build rapport. Building rapport with a woman just means creating an emotional connection – and having that emotional connection will make women attracted to you on a deeper level.

To build that deep attraction with women, here’s a simple formula that will help you create rapport with a girl you just met:

First, ask the girl an open-ended question that gets her to share her emotions with you. You could either build off the open-ended question you asked the girl in the qualification stage, or ask a girl a different question. For instance, you could ask “so what is it about this bar that you like?” or “what does this song remind you of?” (assuming there’s a song playing in the background). Listen to her answer (really, listen!) and then share your own perspective and feelings on the subject with her. Accepting her feelings and emotions and then relating them to your own is how you build that deep connection and strong attraction with women.

Step 4: Building sexual tension with women
The big key to building sexual tension with a woman is to touch her. Start with light, playful taps at the beginning of the interaction, and gradually touch her more and for longer periods of time.

Aside from touch, another important factor in building sexual attraction with women is to be open and honest with your interest in her. It’s no secret women want confident men, and saying exactly what you’re feeling without holding back is a great way to show that confidence with women.

So to build that sexual tension and get a woman turned on with your confidence, verbally express your interest in the woman. If you’re in a sexually charged environment like a club, just come out and say “you’re really turning me on right now”. If you’re meeting a girl in the daytime – or someplace where the sexual energy isn’t as potent, something like “I really dig you, let’s go get coffee together” works great. Really, whatever it is you’re feeling at the moment is exactly what you should say to the woman.

What to say to a girl from there
If you’ve gone through these steps and still find yourself searching for something to say to a girl you just met, simply jump around the various stages once again in whatever order suits you (excluding qualification). That interchange between bantering with the woman, sexual escalation, and rapport building will keep the conversation with the girl you just met fun and interesting.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Art of Dating, Building A Connection