Building rapport is mostly about asking questions and listening to what she has to say. After she’s done answering your rapport building questions, you should summarize the emotional core of what she just said in your own words, then tie it to what you’re about to say about your own answer to the same question. This is how you two establish the type of emotional connection that’s going to make you the guy she remembers the morning after — the guy who really gets her. But how do you build rapport? We’ve put together a list of our five favorite rapport building questions to help you level up your rapport game.
“What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?”
Kind of a silly question, but that can make it a great question for establishing rapport at the early stages. You know the feeling: You’re in your 20s or 30s and you still don’t feel “grown up,” you don’t feel like you’re doing what you really want to. Asking her about this is a great way to establish rapport coming out of the gate, because there’s a really good chance that she feels the same way. Establish rapport both with the question and your answers.
“What Did You Like About Where You Grew Up?”
This rapport building question allows you to learn about where she grew up in a way that’s positive and open-ended. She can share whatever she wants about her upbringing with you and you get a very positive impression of what it was like wherever she grew up. You can then share the best parts of wherever it was that you grew up. It’s a great way to learn about a person’s background while sharing a bit about yourself and establishing rapport.
“What Places Do You Most Want to Travel To?”
This rapport building question is great because it allows you to establish rapport based on what she’s done already (she’s almost certain to start by telling you what places she’s already been to), as well as learning about her hopes and dreams for the future. Remember that rapport is not just about where a person has been, it’s also about where they want to go and where they’re going. While we’re on that subject, check out the next rapport-building question.
“If Money Were No Object What Would You Do With Your Life?”
Here’s a great way to establish rapport and learn a ton about a girl’s values at the same time. What someone would do with their life if money were no object is going to tell you more about who they are than perhaps any other rapport building questions. You can build rapport over the things that you would most want to do in life. How much overlap is there? Do you find her answers interesting?
“What Are the Three Things You Most Want to Do Before You Die?”
This is another rapport question that will build a relationship between the two of you while also revealing a lot about her. It shows you what a person’s priorities are. Remember — she can answer anything to this question, so the three things that she picks are going to tell you a ton about her.