How to Pick Up a Girl at a Club

Clubs are great. The music, the dancing and, of course, the girls. But a lot of men can leave feeling demoralized if they strike out consistently all night. We’ve all been there before. What you might not know, however, is that there are simple, straightforward ways to approach women and build attraction every time. Try this approach next time you’re figuring out how to pick up a girl at a club and see your batting average improve.

The Right Approach

Attraction and picking up girls doesn’t begin when you first talk to her. It begins before that with your approach. In fact, your approach begins from the second she sees you. This is why you should always have a solid smile (with your whole face, not just your eyes) and good posture, both of which project friendliness and confidence.

When you do see a girl that you want to approach at a club, do it right away. Take a couple of seconds, man up and approach her with the most confident posture possible.

Opening the Conversation

What to say after you approach a girl – how to pick up a girl at a club? We here at The Art of Charm are big believers in starting out with playful, content-free banter. Something jokey that opens up the conversation and gets her interested in talking to you more.

The trick here is not to get the girl at the club to fall in love with you based on the first thing that you say. You’re not looking for the perfect pickup line. On the contrary, you just want something that’s going to make her smile and get her interested in what you have to say next.

Remember to commit to whatever it is. Try and take the conversation to its silly extreme. It will get her smiling, get her interested and keep the conversation going.

When and How to Show Interest

Eventually, you’re going to have to get more serious. The best way to do that when you’re trying to pick up a girl at a club is to be very simple, but also very straightforward about it. Say something to her like “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you.”

Short, quick and to the point. That’s what you’re going for. If you want, throw in some compliment about anything other than her appearance (she already knows that you’re attracted to her, she wants to know that you’re also interested in who she is as a person) and you’re going to be good to go.

Getting to Know Her

Once you’ve done that, you two can start getting to know each other better. The best way to do this is to use open-ended questions. This gives her room to talk as much or as little as she wants. For example, asking her what she does for a living has a very definite (and short) answer. On the other hand, asking her what she likes about what she does for a living, or what she would do if money were no object, is a much longer answer — one that keeps the conversational ball rolling and makes you look more interesting.

Bridging the Touch Barrier

Here’s an inside tip that a lot of men are missing out on: Touch. Shoulders, upper back, arms and hands are all “safe” places that you can touch a woman. This creates a sense of intimacy between the two of you, and don’t be surprised if she starts touching you back.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1049 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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