How to Approach a Girl in Public

The core of what men want to learn from The Art of Charm initially is generally how to approach a girl in public. We understand: Approaching a woman in public can be very nerve-wracking, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience doing so. However, you might also be making it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Here are five tips that will help you when it comes to how to approach a girl in public with greater success.

Walk Tall

One of the easiest ways to display the sort of outward confidence you need when approaching women is to walk tall. Stand up straight and have a manly gait about your walk. Feel free to copy icons of masculinity such as Clint Eastwood or Humphrey Bogart when you’re first getting started. When you approach a woman in this way you’re showing confidence that’s going to make everything else easier. Best of all, this works even if you aren’t feeling confident. Don’t be afraid to practice this at home before you head out to meet women.

Approach Immediately

Do you ever find yourself wondering if a woman noticed you or not? Guess what? She did. That’s why it’s important to approach a woman in public immediately. The longer you wait the more likely you are to seem “creepy” at worst or unconfident at best. Just take a breath, gather yourself and walk over. Rejection can be hard for a lot of men to deal with, but remember: You’re never going to win the lottery without buying a ticket. To have success approaching girls in public, you first have to approach them. Sooner is always better than later.

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Don’t Over Think It

Another benefit of approaching a girl immediately is that it cuts down on a natural tendency to over think your approach. The thing with your approach is that it has one very specific goal: To open a conversation, create the spark of interest and get her wanting to talk to you more. In sales, they often say that every sentence of your sales letter is about getting someone to read the next. Think of your approach this way: You’re not really trying to get her to fall in love with you. You’re trying to get her to want to keep talking to you. This is why we recommend that men start conversations with light, playful, content-free banter.

Using Body Language

When you talk to your guy friends, you two aren’t facing each other dead on. Similarly, you don’t want to do this when you approach a woman. It’s best to approach from the side or, at the very least, pivot there after your initial approach. Talk to her over your shoulder, turning in when you talk and turning slightly away when she does. This is a far more natural way to talk to her, rather than the “job interview” style that all too many men use when they approach women.

Getting Her Number

Especially if you’re approaching a woman in public during the day or in a place other than a bar or club, you want to get her number fast. How do you do this? After you’ve gotten her interested and gotten her attention, tell her that you need her number so that the two of you can get together. Hand her your phone ready to accept her number, then text her with something like “This is AJ, the hottest guy you’ve seen all day :-)”

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1165 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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