How to Kiss Better Than All of Her Exes

How to kiss better

Looking to impress a girl with the perfect first kiss?  Then follow the tips below to see how you can be the best first kiss a girl has ever had.

The lead-up

The more sexual tension there is between the two of you the more electric that first kiss is going to feel.  To build that tension you want to stand close to the girl while holding strong eye contact.  Then get physical and make firm (yet gently) contact with her.  This could mean putting your hands around her hips, taking her hands, cup the back of her head, or even running your fingers through her hair.

While you’re touching her you don’t want to be up in your head, thinking about how you should move/act next.  Instead you want to stay grounded and in your body.  So breathe deep into whatever tension you feel in and let that excitement/anxiety stir inside you.  Embrace that tension and she’ll begin to feel that excitement more and more.  The electricity between you will become so strong that the kiss will feel inevitable.

Go for it

Some guys make the mistake of waiting for her to make the move – or give some overt signal that leaves no doubt whatsoever that she wants to be kissed.  But here’s the thing: if you feel that strong desire to kiss her and she’s standing there, close to you, holding your eye contact – then she knows damn well what you want.  She can feel it.  And the fact that she’s still there with you is probably the strongest signal she’s going to give.  So don’t wait for explicit permission (for her to say something like “you can kiss me now”).  Man up, lean in, and go for it.

If the thought of being this direct makes you nervous, remember this: Women will forgive you for being a man, but not for being a wimp.  There’s nothing wrong with having desire and acting on it in this way.  But if you try to hide or shut that desire down – because you don’t want to “offend” her or come off as “creepy” – you will likely destroy any attraction she may have felt.  And you’ll find yourself on a one-way trip to the friend-zone.

Don’t go all the way

For the perfect first kiss you want to be the one who leans in and gets the ball rolling – but don’t go all the way.  Give her the chance to respond freely however she wants.  She can either lean in and meet you (or close her eyes and let you come to her), or she can pull away.   It’s not going to be a perfect first kiss if she doesn’t feel like she had any choice in the matter.  And by giving her that chance to pull away, the kiss will be more electric because it’s what you both want.

Basic fundamentals

No matter how good everything else is you’re never going to get that perfect first kiss if you’ve got funky breathe.  So keep some mints handy and make sure she won’t be turned-off by your breath the moment that kiss happens (avoid gum as that might just get in the way).

Some other basics to keep in mind: Breathe through your nose the whole time, and avoid breathing through your mouth.  Close your eyes the moment before your lips touch and keep them closed throughout the kiss.

Stay under control

No need to invade her mouth with your tongue the second your lips touch.  If you’re going for the perfect first kiss, you don’t want it to be a sloppy mess.  So hold back on the tongue at first.  But do keep your mouth slightly open to make that possibility available.  That way if she wants to slip her tongue into your mouth, she’ll be able to.  Or if you feel the desire to take it there, you’ll be able to do so gradually – without taking her completely off-guard.

Do it sober

If you really want to impress a girl with the perfect first kiss make sure you do it when you’re both sober. So many guys rely on “liquid courage” to give them the strength to make their move.  But this is a mistake for all kinds of reasons.  For one, it can turn into just another drunk, sloppy make out.  Second, it leaves a lot of questions the next day.  She may wonder “Does he really like me?  Or did that kiss only happen because we’ve been drinking?”  Heck, she may not even know the reason why she did it.  She might be unsure if it was because she actually likes you, or because she was just drunk and maybe feeling a little lonely that night.

So if you want that perfect first kiss, stay sober.  That way you’ll both know what it’s about, and won’t look back on it with doubt (or even regret) the next day.

Embrace any slip-ups

At the end of the day you could mess up every single step of this process.  Maybe your breath is a little garlicky from dinner and there just aren’t any mints around.  Maybe you wind up bumping noses on the way in.   Maybe someone from the outside screams “Get a room!” and jostles you out of the moment.  If anything like that happens, roll with it.  Because the perfect first kiss doesn’t have to be “perfect”.  It’s not so much about where your hand is or getting your lips to touch in exactly the right way.  It’s simply about expressing the attraction and connection you feel for one another.

So if anything goes “wrong” during this process, embrace it.  There’s often a lot of juice and excitement in imperfect moments anyway.  If everything went “by the book” and was “fundamentally perfect” the kiss could wind up feeling cold, robotic and even boring.   So while keeping the tips above in mind, don’t hold too tightly to the idea that everything needs to go a certain way.  After all, any mistakes and missteps could wind up making the moment that much more memorable.

Want more tips?

For more tips and advice on how to make yourself unforgettable to the women you meet and date, click here.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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