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How do you kiss better than her exes? Looking to impress a girl with the perfect first kiss? Every man makes two first impressions with a woman. The first is when she sees him. The second is when he kisses her.

Making a great impression with a first kiss will go a long way with a woman because it sets the tone for a deeper connection. A perfect first kiss can be a powerful expression of desire, respect, and, most importantly, chemistry. It’s an intimate moment in which the woman you’re kissing gauges compatibility and future relationship satisfaction.

Because it’s such an emotionally charged experience, she’ll compare it (consciously and unconsciously) to kisses from past relationships. Doing it right positions you favorably in her mind, making you stand out from her exes.

If you fail the first kiss, there are several risks. A subpar kiss disrupts the emerging romantic connection and leads to questions about compatibility in the woman’s mind. It also signals a lack of interest, enthusiasm, experience, or confidence. Especially if you’re “French kissing” like a teenager.

Moreover, a disappointing first kiss creates an unfavorable memory that, consciously or unconsciously, she will associate with you. And that memory will cast a shadow over future interactions. It also leads to unfavorable comparisons with her previous partners, which can be challenging to overcome. Therefore, it’s critical to approach this intimate moment with the right balance of passion, respect, and technique.

But you’re in luck—men and women have been kissing for quite a long time, so you don’t need to be a certified sex therapist to get it right. Before you lock lips, follow the kissing tips and tricks below to make sure you don’t bomb the first kiss.

Understanding Your Partner’s Body Language for Better Kissing

Understanding a woman’s body language is a key aspect of discerning her interest and readiness for a kiss. Stay out of your head and pay attention for the following non-verbal cues so you know when she wants to lock lips.

She will maintain prolonged eye contact and frequently glance at your lips, indicating her interest in a kiss. Her posture will be open and leaning toward you, demonstrating her engagement and receptiveness. Subconscious touches, such as brushing her hair back, touching her own lips, or biting her lips, also signify her readiness.

Additionally, she will exhibit nervous behaviors like fidgeting, a sign of anticipation and excitement. Each woman is unique, so these signals may vary, but they are good indicators for a desire for closeness.

The Power of Eye Contact in Enhancing Your Kiss

The more sexual tension there is between the two of you the more electric that first kiss will feel. To build that tension stand close to the girl and make eye contact. Hold it for a couple of seconds before making a subtle smirk.

Women are excellent at picking up on micro-expressions so you don’t need a full smile to get the point across.

She’ll smile, laugh, or ask you what you’re looking at. Don’t say anything, just look away and redirect her attention or the conversation. Wait some time and make eye contact again. Then repeat the process. Play with it to find the natural balance and she’ll be putty in your hands.

Women love mysterious men because women can’t figure out what those men thinking or what they will do next. The more you can spark her imagination about who you are and what you’re up to, the faster she will seduce herself into wanting you to kiss her.

Creating a Full Body Experience Through Eye Contact in Kissing

For a woman, a good kiss is a full body experience, so don’t forget about her body. Use your hands to make firm (yet gentle) contact with her. Put your hands around her hips, take her hands, cup the back of her head, or run your fingers through her hair. Again, be firm but gentle. Women are weaker than men, but they’re sturdy creatures and they enjoy being in the hands of a strong confident man who knows what he’s doing.

While you’re touching her stay out of your head. Don’t think about how you should move/act next. Stay grounded and in your body. Breathe deep into whatever tension you feel and let that excitement/anxiety stir inside you. Embrace the tension and she’ll feel your excitement. The electricity between you will become so strong that the kiss will feel inevitable.

If she responds favorably up to now, she’ll want to kiss you so bad that she might make the first move. But never count on it. You’re a man. Take the lead.

Seizing the Moment: When to Initiate the Kiss

Some guys make the mistake of waiting for her to make the move. Or they wait for her to give some overt signal that leaves no doubt whatsoever that she wants to be kissed.

Do you feel a strong desire to kiss her? Is she standing close to you? Is she holding eye contact with you?

Then she knows damn well what you want. She can feel it. And the fact that she’s still there with you is probably the strongest signal she’s going to give. So don’t wait for explicit permission (for her to say something like “you can kiss me now”). 

Man up, lean in, and go for it. A little confidence goes a long way.

If the thought of being this direct makes you nervous, keep something in mind. Women will forgive you for being a man, but not for being a wimp. Evolutionarily, women depended on men to take charge and take risks to protect them. If you can’t even take the risk of going for a kiss, how much faith will she have in your ability to do what it takes to protect and provide for her and her offspring?

There’s nothing wrong with having a desire and acting on it in this way. But don’t hide or shut that desire down because you don’t want to “offend” her. You destroy any attraction she may have felt. And you’ll find yourself on a one-way trip to the friend-zone.

The Art of Restraint: Why Holding Back Can Improve Your Kiss

For the perfect first kiss you want to be the one who leans in and starts the ball rolling. But don’t go all the way. Give her the chance to respond freely.

She can lean in and meet you (or close her eyes and let you come to her), or she can pull away. It’s not going to be a perfect first kiss if she doesn’t feel like she had a choice. And by giving her that chance to pull away, the kiss will be more electric because it’s what you both want.

Kissing Basics: Perfecting the Fundamentals

You’re never going to get that perfect first kiss if you’ve got funky breathe or gum in your mouth. Pay attention to the following list to set the foundation for your kissing technique. 

Oral Hygiene: Ensure your breath is fresh. Keep mints handy and avoid foods that cause bad breath. Gum is acceptable but make sure you get rid of it before you kiss someone.

Soft Lips: Dry or chapped lips can make the kiss uncomfortable. Regularly apply lip balm to keep your lips soft. But take it off before you’re going to kiss someone. She wants to feel your lips, not the balm.

Close Your Eyes: It’s better to close your eyes during the kiss. This increases the intimacy and focuses on the sensation of the kiss.

Don’t Rush: Take your time and don’t rush into the kiss. It’s about the journey, not just the destination.

Use Your Hands: Gently touch your partner’s face, neck, or waist to add an extra layer of intimacy. If you take a break during a make out session, caress your partner’s lips with your thumb while you lift her chin up to look into her eyes.

Breathe: Make sure to breathe through your nose during the kiss to avoid any awkward moments.

Mind Your Saliva: Too much saliva can turn a kiss from hot to not. Control your saliva to keep the kiss enjoyable.

Relax and Enjoy: Lastly, don’t stress too much about the technique. Relax and enjoy the moment.

Avoiding Common Mistakes: Using Tongue Appropriately in Kissing

No need to invade her mouth with your tongue the second your lips touch to make it a passionate kiss. You’re not back in middle school French kissing your crush. If you’re going for the perfect first kiss, you don’t want it to be a sloppy mess.

Hold back on the tongue at first. But do keep your lips slightly open to make that possibility available. That way if she wants to slip her tongue in your mouth, she’ll be able to. Or if you feel the desire to take it there, you’ll be able to do so gradually – without taking her completely off-guard.

Unexpected tongue can be like slamming on the gas pedal from a slow roll. Start with the tip of your tongue and if she opens her mouth in response or meets your tongue with hers, you have permission to use more. Do it gradually. Let her enjoy the build up.

Once your tongues start dancing, the make out session has commenced.

The Importance of Sobriety for Memorable Kissing Experiences

Want to impress a girl with the perfect first kiss? Make sure you do it when you’re both sober.

Too many guys rely on “liquid courage” to give them the strength to make their move. But this is a mistake for all kinds of reasons. For one, it can turn into just another drunk, sloppy make out. Second, it leaves a lot of questions the next day. She may wonder “Does he really like me? Or did that kiss only happen because we’ve been drinking?”

Heck, she may not even know the reason shedid it. She might be unsure if it was because she actually likes you. Or because she was just drunk and maybe feeling a little lonely that night.

So if you want that perfect first kiss, stay sober. That way you’ll both know what it’s about, and won’t look back on it with doubt (or even regret) the next day.

Turning Mistakes into Opportunities While Kissing

At the end of the day you could mess up every single step of this process. Maybe your breath is a little garlicky from dinner and there just aren’t any mints around. Or maybe you wind up bumping noses on the way in. Or maybe someone from the outside screams “Get a room!” and jostles you out of the moment.

If anything like that happens, roll with it. Keep in mind, the perfect first kiss doesn’t have to be “perfect”. A perfect kiss can just be a good kiss.

It’s not so much about where your hand is or getting your lips to touch in exactly the right way. It’s about expressing the attraction and connection you feel for one another.

So if anything goes “wrong” during this process, embrace it. There’s often a lot of juice and excitement in imperfect moments anyway. If everything went “by the book” and was “fundamentally perfect” the kiss could wind up feeling cold, robotic and even boring. Keep the tips above in mind, but don’t think everything needs to go a certain way.

After all, any mistakes and missteps could wind up making the moment that much more memorable.

Creating Desire: How to Leave Her Wanting More After a Kiss

Men and women are different in many ways. But one of the ways we’re similar is our desire for more of something once we’ve had a taste (pun intended). Conversely, if we get too much of something, it kills our appetite for more.

Want your kissing partner to walk away from a good kiss craving more?

Then don’t overstay you’re welcome. A great kiss or make out session can last too long. How? Because kissing is a step in the direction toward sex. And if you’re not in an environment where a great kiss can lead to sex, it’s important to display self-control and cut the kiss short.

Kissing for too long is like driving a car in first gear. It’s fun at first because the car is so responsive, but after a while she thinks, “Ok, are you going to shift into second or stop the car? Is something wrong? Does he not know how to drive a manual?”

When it comes to attracting and seducing women, it is in your best interest to end everything on a high note. End the date on a high note. End the kiss on a high note. Even phone calls and text message conversations—end them on a high note.

Why?

Applying the Peak-End Rule in Kissing for Lasting Impressions

Ending experiences on a high note is a powerful psychological strategy that leaves the other person craving more. This is due to a psychological phenomenon known as the “peak-end rule,” which suggests that people judge experiences largely based on how they were at their peak and at their end, rather than the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. By ending interactions on a positive note, you maximize the ‘end’ part of this equation, leaving a lingering positive memory in the person’s mind. This results in a heightened desire for a repeat of the experience. Whether it’s a date, kiss, or conversation, ensuring it ends on a high note keeps the other person intrigued and excited for the next interaction.

So how long is too long? It depends on how where you are on the kissing spectrum, the chemistry between you two that night, and how receptive she is to your kiss. If you don’t have much experience in this department, keep it short. 10 to 30 seconds is best.

Don’t think about maximizing the duration of the make out session for your pleasure. Instead, think about making sure she has something to fantasize about in the space between the kiss and when you see her again. Don’t kill her appetite for more by giving her too much.

Now get out there and put these kissing tips and tricks to good use, champ!

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