Girl Body Language: When to Back Off and When to Get Closer

Girl body language will often tell you if the woman is interested in you or not. Whether she’s hoping to be kissed, would like you to slow things down, or something in-between, a woman’s body language signals exactly what that woman wants. So to make sure you don’t miss these body language signals and are able to give the woman exactly what she desires, check out the tips below on how to read a woman’s body language.

The way she stands as a sign of interest
The proximity of a girl is going to tell you a lot about how interested she is in you at that moment. If you’re talking to a girl and you notice she starts to lean away or take a step back from you (anything to put more space between you and her) while at the same time looking away from you, it shows she’s disengaging from the conversation. It’s a signal the woman needs space from you and/or whatever was just said. However if you notice the woman increases her eye contact and moves/leans towards you, it’s a sign she’s interested and has become more invested in you and your conversation.

Now you can use this knowledge to actively test how interested the woman is in you. From time to time make a point to create space between the two of you and see how she responds. Get close to her for a few moments during the conversation and then lean or step back. If she closes that gap and gets close to you after you make that space, you can tell she’s interested in you.

Head movement as a sign of interest
When people are curious and interested in something they will often tilt their head to the side. If you’re making eye contact with a woman or having a conversation with a girl and she tilts her head while looking at you, it’s a signal she’s interested in you and/or the conversation. It also shows a certain degree of comfort (which is key in building attraction with women) as the head-tilt is only done when the person feels safe and comfortable.

Facial signs of interest and disinterest
Want to know a surefire sign a woman is attracted to you? Look to see if a woman makes eye contact with you while licking her lips. This combination is a sign of attraction and shows she’s thinking about getting physical with you. (For more signs of attraction women show check out the Art of Charm podcast on attraction signs from women)

On the other extreme is a surefire sign the woman is not interested. If you’re having a conversation with a woman and she expresses contempt (pulling just one corner of the mouth back), that’s a strong signal the woman isn’t feeling attraction. If that contempt is directed at you then take it as a signal attraction is not there for her – and probably won’t be anytime soon.

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Signs of attraction and comfort in women
Another subtle attraction signal women show involves the use of barriers. Anything she places between you and her can be seen as a barrier and is a body language signal of discomfort and insecurity.

For example, she might hold a drink or jacket in front of her chest, or cross her arms when talking to you. If you’re sitting down at dinner, the barrier could be as subtle as moving a salt shaker from the side of the table and placing it directly between you. While these barriers are not necessarily a sign of disinterest, they signal a lack of openness and comfort.

On the other hand, if you see her remove those barriers so there’s nothing between her chest and yours (again, this could be as subtle as her moving her arms to her sides) that’s a body language sign that she’s open to you and looking to connect.

Using touch to gauge a woman’s interest
Touching is a great way to flirt with women and tell if a woman is interested in you. It allows you to subtly convey your own interest and by reading her reaction you can know if the girl is interested in you, too.

For example, if you touch her she withdraws her body (or she withdraws in other ways – say by changing the subject or looking to distract you with something else) it shows you she’s not quite comfortable getting sexual yet. If she allows the touching to continue though, it’s likely a sign of attraction and a signal the woman may be ready for you to take things to the next level.

This indicator of interest can even be gauged if you touched her purposefully or not. For example you could accidentally brush your leg against hers under the table. If she withdraws her leg then she was uncomfortable with that touch. If she leaves her leg there, you can take it as an attraction sign as it shows she’s comfortable being touched by you.

Eye contact with women
A final piece of girl body language to look for that will help you tell if a girl is interested is to look into her eyes. If her pupils are dilated it’s a sign the woman likes what she’s seeing/experiencing and wants more of it. On the flip side is when a girl starts squinting when she looks at you or eye-blocking (blinking for extended periods of time or covering her eyes with her hands). This kind of eye contact shows the woman is trying to cut herself off from what she’s seeing/experiencing because she doesn’t like it. Of course there could be other reasons for this so as with all body language signals, be sure to take the context into account.

For more tips on how to read a woman’s body language check out the Art of Charm podcast with body language expert Blake Eastman).

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating