Struggling to approach a girl you’ve never met? Overcome fear and transform your dating life with actionable advice on making confident first moves. Your future in dating awaits. One of the biggest reasons guys avoid approaching women is that many guys simply overthink it. That’s why the dating lives of most men are based primarily on luck. But self aware guys who learn the basics have an easy time approaching women wherever they go.
Your dating life will explode once you start approaching women throughout the day.
Key Takeaways:
- Approach anxiety is often a mental barrier; overcome it with practice.
- Eye contact and body language are powerful indicators of interest.
- Rejection is normal and part of the process; don’t fear it.
- Your attitude and how you make her feel are more crucial than words.
- Practice enhances confidence, which is key to attraction.
Table of contents
- Why is It Hard to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know
- How to Get Over Approach Anxiety
- Why Should You Learn to Approach Women You’ve Never Met?
- How to Know if She’s Interested Using Eye Contact
- How to Approach a Girl for the First Time
- How to Approach a Girl on the Street
- Maintain Masculine Frame With Your Body Language
- How to Tell if She’s Interested While You’re Talking
- What to Say to a Woman You Just Met
- How to Keep the Conversation Flowing
- How to Win a Girl Over With Your Attitude
- Want More Proven Advice on How to Effortlessly Attract the Girls You Want to Date?
Why is It Hard to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know
Approaching a girl you don’t know can feel oddly terrifying. Just keep in mind that your ancestors conquered entire continents in sandals. Remind yourself of that when you feel “scared” to approach a girl.
Most guys have a tough time because they worry too much about what to say. They think they need golden pickup lines to get a girl’s attention, especially one who has a boyfriend.
But the complete opposite is true.
Worrying about what to say makes it harder to approach women because conversations are supposed to be fluid and organic, not rigid and planned. When you try to move through a conversation with logic, you don’t come across as smooth and charming. Instead, you come across as awkward and socially inept.
And no woman is swept off her feet by awkwardness, let alone aroused by it.
When it comes to approaching girls, think less and act more.
Consider the handsome, charming guy you know who never has trouble with women (he still gets rejected more times than not by the way). What does he do when he sees a cute girl? He walks over with a smirk, friendly open body language, and says, “Hello” or “Hey, I thought you were cute so I wanted to say hi.”
Fear is the Mind Killer
Another reason guys feel nervous is that they fear rejection. Nobody likes to be turned down. The thought of a girl saying ‘no’ can make a guy feel sad or embarrassed. This fear stops most guys before they approach girls.
Remember, it’s perfectly fine if a girl isn’t interested. There are plenty of other girls who will be.
The dating world is one of numbers. You have to filter through many women to meet girls who are worth talking to.
But How Will She React?
Finally, guys often feel unsure about how to approach a girl because they don’t know how she will react. Will she be friendly? Will she be annoyed? These unknowns can be intimidating, but you’re a man—it’s your duty to be brave enough to embrace the unknown.
Keep in mind that most women are polite and friendly when guys approach them respectfully.
So, don’t let these fears stop you.
Approaching a girl is easier than it seems. All you need is a positive mood and some practice. And both are in your control.
How to Get Over Approach Anxiety
Approach anxiety is a term guys use when they feel scared to talk to a girl they’ve never met. It is the fear that bubbles up inside you when you want to approach women you find attractive. Just like stage fright or a fear of heights, approach anxiety can make your heart race and your palms sweaty (mom’s spaghetti).
But remember, like all fears, it’s in your head.
Why Approach Anxiety is All in Your Head
The main thing to remember is that approach anxiety is not real. It’s all in your head. It’s a fear you create by thinking about all the things that could go wrong when you approach a girl.
Most women are friendly and polite when a guy talks to them with respect.
Your mind tricks you into feeling scared. It’s just like when you were little and imagined there was a monster under your bed. There was no reason to be scared because there was no monster, just like there’s no reason to be scared of talking to a girl because nothing bad is going to happen.
Face Your Fear
So, how do you overcome approach anxiety? The first step is to understand that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable or scared. It’s a normal feeling.
But it’s also important to know that you can control and conquer this fear.
- Start by making eye contact with strangers and smiling. Hold it and wait for them to break eye contact first.
- Once you’re comfortable with that, start asking strangers where the nearest coffee shop is. Ask people for the time. Ask people in line with you at the grocery store what they’re making for dinner.
- When you’re comfortable asking random strangers, focus on asking at least one woman every day.
- Once you’re comfortable making simple requests, ask a follow up question that is more personal. For example, “Where are you from?” or “What do you like to do around here?”
- Work on getting into conversations with strangers. Show them you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Ask questions based on answers they gave to previous questions.
If you feel anxious in the beginning, that’s ok. As someone who was once in your awkward shoes, I promise you that feeling will dissipate after the first few times you go through this exercise.
It’s imperative you get comfortable talking to strangers in your day-to-day life. If you take this approach, when that beautiful woman crosses your path, she’ll just be another stranger to practice with.
Accepting Rejection is Key to an Epic Dating Life
Also, remind yourself that rejection is okay. Even the most charming guys get rejected because women are picky.
By the time an average woman turns 18, she’s been approached more times than the average guy will in his entire lifetime. Think about what that must do to a woman’s ability to be selective.
If you got approached by women multiple times a day, you’d be picky, too.
Rejection is baked into the game of life. Especially as men, rejection is what makes us work hard to achieve our goals. Not every girl will be interested, and that’s fine. There are many women out there.
Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from approaching a girl. Keep a positive attitude and remember, practice makes perfect.
Why Should You Learn to Approach Women You’ve Never Met?
Learning to approach girls you’ve never met can be a daunting task. But it serves as an important step in your path to becoming a man and leveling up your dating life.
Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. You increase the possibility of meeting someone special and forge rock-solid self-confidence. These qualities are universally attractive and will serve you well in all facets of life, not just your dating life.
You will attract women with boldness.
Moreover, approaching women you don’t know it gives you the opportunity to practice and refine your communication skills. Engage in conversation with different individuals to expose you to various perspectives. This allows you to recognize social cues, learn how to keep the conversation flowing, and adapt your approaches accordingly.
Practice Builds Confidence, and Women Melt for Confident Men
Every approach will be different so you need to think on your feet in order to come across as smooth and charming. Women say they think it’s cute when a guy is nervous, but cute men don’t arouse women. Confident men do.
This skill, once honed, can be applied beyond the realm of dating. It significantly enhances your professional and personal relationships as well.
You Must Become the Best Version of Yourself
Lastly, choosing to approach women fosters a mindset that embraces initiative and proactivity. Rather than waiting for opportunities to come your way, actively seek them out.
This behavior translates into a powerful, positive self-perception that affects all areas of your life, including career, friendships, and personal achievements.
Embrace the uncertainty, take the lead, and let the fear of the unknown be the catalyst that propels you forward in your overall journey of self-improvement and masculinity.
Your Future Family is Counting on You
Here’s some cold truth. All women want a man who other women want to be with and other men want to be. It is programmed into women to desire high value men. Because, at a biological level, committing to a man means she is putting her life and her children’s lives in his hands. So he better be the highest value man she can get.
Let’s say you “get lucky” and meet your future wife through friends. You’re decent looking but never got a handle on talking to women. So you feel lucky to find one who wants to spend her life with you.
A few years down the road you have kids. Like many married men, you let work and family time get the best of you and you put on weight. You stop caring about your physical appearance. You lose whatever masculine edge you had when you met your wife.
Now you’re soft and most women find you unattractive.
Men and Women Are Not the Same
Women don’t think like we do. They don’t even love like we do. Your wife’s subconscious will recognize that you are no longer attractive to other women, and other men look down on you.
Your wife will start testing you more without even realizing it. She’ll pick fights to test your masculinity and confidence, constantly trying to see if you’re still worthy.
She’ll find excuses to not have sex.
Her respect for you will decline until she feels deceived by you.
I know this sounds crazy, but she will rationalize her loss of feelings for you in such a way that you “tricked” her into marrying you. At a subconscious level she will feel you “tricked” her into committing her life to a man who pretended to be high value, who she is now “stuck with.”
This will be unacceptable for her because, at a biological level, her life and her children’s lives depend on your ability to provide and protect.
Women Are Hypergamous
So, what do you think she’s going to do if she feels deceived by you?
Her eyes are going to wander until she finds another high value man to replace you.
Nature is ruthless and modern civilization has made us naive to the ruthless nature of women. We can’t blame women for their hypergamous mating strategy when it got humanity this far.
We live in a society with a 50% divorce rate. Women initiate 70% of divorces. And the courts heavily favor women in divorce proceedings.
You need to be good with women and stay on your game if you want to avoid divorce. Your kids are counting on you.
How to Know if She’s Interested Using Eye Contact
Approaching a woman you’ve never met is always easier if you have an invitation to approach. And the way to get that invitation is with eye contact.
When you see an attractive girl you want to approach, the first thing you want to do is make eye contact. If she looks up and catches your gaze, give her a relaxed smile. This will help you make a good first impression on the girl by showing you’re a confident, friendly guy.
A good first impression is step one to attract women.
Now, if she holds your gaze (or looks away and then back at you) she’s giving you a sign she’s interested and inviting you to approach.
Don’t wait for any other invitation.
This is the most obvious indicator of interest many women will give. However, if she doesn’t hold your gaze—or never looks in your direction, don’t worry. There is still plenty you can do to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know.
How to Approach a Girl for the First Time
A good approach comes down to the right body language. As you approach a girl, take a deep breath in through your nose, keep your head up, back straight, shoulders back and down, and a smile (more of a smirk).
Slowly approach girls from the front or at a side angle so they see you coming.
Women are the weaker sex so they are instinctively concerned with their safety when men they don’t know approach them. Approaching a girl in this way will show her you’re a confident, friendly guy right off the bat. As a result, she’s going to be much more receptive and willing to engage in a conversation.
Now, a good habit you should develop in approaching women is walking up to the woman you’re interested in right away. Lots of guys don’t do this. Instead, they get anxious about approaching a woman and insist on waiting for “the right moment.”
Recognizing the signs of interest through eye contact is just the beginning of a successful approach. Making that first impression count sets the stage for everything that follows. You’ve learned the importance of approaching with confidence, the right body language, and the significance of making your move promptly, without waiting for the “perfect moment.” These are invaluable steps in attracting the attention of someone you’ve never met before.
But what comes next? How do you ensure that your initial approach leads to a conversation that’s as engaging and captivating as your first glance?
Transform Your Approach into an Unforgettable Moment
Imagine this: Every time you decide to approach a woman, you do so with unshakeable confidence. Your heart is steady, your smile genuine, and your conversation starters are not just words, but keys that unlock deeper, more meaningful interactions.
What if the difference between a forgettable encounter and a memorable connection was just a few strategic adjustments to your approach? With Conversation Magic, you communicate in a way that resonates, entertains, and intrigues.
This isn’t a mere collection of tips and tricks. It’s a basic set of skills that turn hesitant hellos into engaging, electrifying exchanges. Check out Conversation Magic and master the art of conversation that doesn’t just capture interest, but captivates hearts.
Say goodbye to awkward silences, forced small talk, and the uncertainty of not knowing what to say next. Embrace the power of fluid, confident dialogues that make her eager to know more about you.
Don’t let another chance to make a memorable first impression slip away. Take the step that could redefine your social interactions forever.
Stop Waiting and Be the Man Who Takes Action
The only “right moment” is the one you create by taking action.
If you have any approach anxiety when walking up to a woman, waiting around for “the right moment” will make that anxiety worse. Plus, you don’t want to be the guy who hesitates, or—even worse—the guy who hovers around a girl.
Girls notice that and it instantly turns them off.
Instead, obey the “two-second” rule and approach the girl within two seconds of seeing her. Walking up to a girl without even thinking about it will not only make you look more confident, it will prevent that approach anxiety from taking over.
Still need some positive self talk?
How’s this: Your ancestors conquered continents in sandals. You can talk to a girl.
How to Approach a Girl on the Street
Don’t limit the women you approach to bars and clubs on a Friday night. Approach women anywhere anytime. If a girl is walking down the street, stop her and get the conversation flowing right then and there.
Of course, stopping a girl on the street is going to look different than walking up to a girl at a bar. If you want to start a conversation with women on the street, do the following:
- Put yourself directly in her path, about 6-10 feet in front of her. This way you won’t startle her, and can stop her momentum.
- Face her and look her right in the eye. Make it clear your looking to get her attention.
- Raise your hand about a foot in front of you (put it around the height of your belly-button). Putting this sort of barrier between the two of you has a way of easing the tension.
- Stop her with a simple “Excuse me” and get the conversation flowing (more on this next).
In the end, to approach a girl on the street is no different than stopping someone if you were lost and needed directions. The only difference is that instead of looking for directions, you’re just looking to have a friendly chat (which just might lead to a date).
Maintain Masculine Frame With Your Body Language
Maintain a strong masculine frame after approaching. It is pivotal to sustaining her interest, sparking attraction, and gauging her interest in you. It’s not just about making the first move; it’s about keeping the momentum going.
Remember to keep your shoulders back and down. Maintain a strong core, breathe from your stomach, and tilt your hips as if you are tucking your tailbone between your legs. To maintain a strong posture, imagine a string connected to the top of your skull pulling you up. This will enable you to walk and stand tall with confidence.
A masculine frame reflects self-assuredness, displaying confidence in not just what you say, but how you say it. This assertive presence allows you to command attention, exhibit self-control, and convey genuine interest in your interaction with her.
- Maintain eye contact to show you’re engaged and present in the conversation.
- Break eye contact and turn your head to give her your ear when she’s speaking. This indicates that you’re invested in what she’s saying. And it relieves the tension that builds up after holding eye contact.
- Mirror her gestures subtly to create a sense of rapport and intimacy.
- To spark attraction, maintain an open posture with your feet parallel to hers. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, as this can come off defensive and a sign of weakness. Women inherently despise weak men because it signals to their subconscious that you won’t be able to protect them and their offspring.
- Frequent, but not intrusive, light touch (such as a brief touch on the arm or shoulder when making a point or sharing a laugh) creates a connection and increases attraction.
How to Tell if She’s Interested While You’re Talking
Understand body language to gauge interest when you approach a girl. Paying attention to her eye contact is crucial. If she maintains it, she’s likely interested. Also, notice if she leans in during the conversation, mirrors your body language, or frequently touches her face or hair. If she positions her body towards you, even in a group setting, it’s a strong indicator that her attention is focused on you. If she touches you, it could mean she’s just comfortable, but it could mean more.
These are unconscious signs of interest you should be paying attention for. Which are quite different from the hidden signs a woman is falling in love with you.
Additionally, one person in the interaction must be stoic in order for the other to be emotionally expressive. If you want to be able to gauge a woman’s interest in you, you must be stoic so she can be emotional.
The beauty of feminine energy is it always reflects what is lacking in the man. So if you have high energy, she will unconsciously respond with low energy. If you’re overly happy, she’ll be overly serious.
This doesn’t mean you can’t express any emotion, but make it low key. A smirk instead of a big smile. A chuckle instead of a hearty laugh. Subtle hand gestures instead of wild gesticulating.
You are a man. Let your strength and self-control make her feel safe enough to slip into her feminine. She will love you for it.
What to Say to a Woman You Just Met
The trick in how to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know is to keep things positive, light, and fun. This can be done in a variety of ways.
One of your best bets to start things off with some playful banter (for great tips on how to master banter, check out the articles here and here).
If you don’t feel comfortable jumping into banter with a woman right off the bat, then just say whatever you feel comfortable saying. A genuine compliment or a simple “Hi, I’m _____” can start a conversation with a woman off just fine.
Lots of guys think they need to dazzle a woman right away with an amazing opening line. The truth is, they don’t. Guys would be surprised at just effective this kind of authenticity can be.
How to Keep the Conversation Flowing
Maintaining a captivating conversation is a crucial aspect of dating. To ensure the conversation flows, utilize the “Question-Answer-Statement” formula. This approach not only keeps the conversation going, but also helps avoid abrupt awkward silences.
The Question-Answer-Statement Formula
1. Pose a question: Start the conversation by asking open-ended questions. This type of question requires more than just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer and encourages her to share more about herself. For example, “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done recently?”
2. Listen to her answer: Pay attention to her response. Active listening is crucial in a conversation. It shows that you value what she’s saying and are genuinely interested in getting to know her.
3. Make a statement: Instead of shooting another question right away, make a statement related to her answer. This could be in the form of an opinion, a personal anecdote, or an insightful comment. For instance, if she mentions she went hiking, you could say, “That’s awesome, I love hiking too. The tranquility in nature is unbeatable.”
Give her a moment to respond. If she’s genuinely interested, she’ll ask you a question in return. But even if she doesn’t, throw her another question based on the topic at hand and repeat the process. Some girls are shy and take a while to warm up.
Remember, a good conversation is about balance. It should be a tennis match of dialogue back and forth, not an interrogation. This formula helps maintain that balance while keeping the conversation engaging and interactive.
Still not sure what to talk about or how to get the conversation flowing? Conversation Magic is your key to sparking fun and engaging conversations no matter where you meet her!
How to Win a Girl Over With Your Attitude
In the end, what you say to a girl really doesn’t matter. After talking to a girl you just met, she’s probably going to forget most of what you said within a few hours (maybe even minutes) anyway.
What she won’t forget though, is the way you made her feel. And that doesn’t come from the words you say, it comes from your attitude.
Attitude can trip a lot of guys up. This is actually one of the biggest mistakes guys make when trying to win their ex’s back.
Many guys who interact with a girl have an attitude of “I hope this girl likes me.”
Guys who are approval-seeking and outcome-dependent come across as lacking confidence. And that attitude can rub a girl the wrong way.
Instead, keep a warm, positive vibe throughout the interaction.
When meeting a girl, you want to have an attitude along the lines of “I’m awesome, let’s see if she’s awesome, too.”
Spoiler: most girls are boring and will rely on you to make the interaction fun and engaging.
Having a fun, care-free attitude is key. Get a girl to feel good when she’s talking to you and she’ll want you around more often. Once you get her number, it’s time to use texting to keep her interested until you see her again.
Want More Proven Advice on How to Effortlessly Attract the Girls You Want to Date?
Let’s face it, you’re killing it in your career, but when it comes to charming the socks off a stunning woman, do you feel like you’re just winging it? Imagine this: you walk up to her, hearts racing, palms a bit sweaty, but this time, you’re armed with more than just good looks and ambition.
What if I told you that with the right tweaks to what you’re already doing, you’ll tap into your natural charm? No more awkward silences or cringey small talk. We’re talking electrifying conversations that spark a real connection, making her eyes light up with excitement.
This isn’t just talk—it’s your new reality. Check out Conversation Magic, and let’s turn those stumbling words into smooth, confident dialogues that leave her eager for more. Ready to be as impressive in your love life as you are in your career? Let’s make it happen!