In the movie “Colors,” Robert Duvall’s character is an older cop that has to deal with a younger cop pleayed by Sean Penn. Sean Penn’s character is brash; wants to bust everyone, and is a little hot headed. Robert Duvall begins to tell him the story of two bulls sitting on a grassy hill, overlooking a herd of cattle. The young bull looks up at the papa bull and says, “Hey pop. Why don’t we run down there and fuck one of those cows?” Papa bull laughs at the young bull and says, “Hey, why don’t we walk down there and fuck all those cows?”
In the movie, Robert Duvall is a focused and precise cop. The movie is based on the duo getting in touch with gangs and earning some respect from each other while finding information on the bigger criminal elements in Los Angeles. Sean Penn’s hot headed character keeps undoing the work that the other cops had put in to get the respect of some of the street thugs.
What does this have to do with how to meet women? The idea is the same. You can walk into a bar with your banter guns blazing, high fiving everyone, being extra social, messing with every girl there and getting whatever numbers you can. You call all of them the next day and hope that a few of them will pick up the phone. Not a very strategic way to meet women, also very tiring.
Alternatively, you can walk into the bar, build value for ourselves, get to know the staff and regulars and allow everyone to feel comfortable with you. This way when you are talking to the women you are interested in, you will have an easier time connecting and making the most out of your interactions.
There really isn’t any rules to dating, however a gentleman’s game is a patient one. It’s one thing when you are practicing getting comfortable with women or just in town for the weekend. You want to go through a high percentage of women looking for girls who are down for a good time. Burning the place down (figuratively) might be a good idea, but if you live in a small area or frequent certain venues, you might want to take it a bit slower. It really does not take too much energy to go to a place a few times to meet the staff, chat up a few locals and get yourself in with the place.
Once you are in, you can really do some damage. You won’t have to be a high energy crazy dude all night to attract women. You can sit back at the bar and introduce yourself to whatever cute girl slides up next to you. This is ideal if you go out by yourself. Chatting up a couple girls who order drinks next to you can quickly transition to you being included in their group or leaving quietly together to do something a little more intimate.
You to can think of it as if you were undercover, penetrating the secret lives of the locals; getting in and meeting everyone, getting invited to some fun events and making new friends. I have moved quite a bit and have had to start over several times in my life. It can be a painful experience meeting new friends to hang out with if you go about it the wrong way. It can also be a piece of cake if you use a more patient approach with the tactics and mindsets that we teach at The Art Of Charm.
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Find a good spot to go to. Look for a place where you would feel comfortable, with the music that you like. What is the crowd like? Do cute girls go there?
2. Meet the staff. They run the place and know who’s who. Do not become a high maintenance customer. That’s the kiss of death.
3. Meet the locals and regulars. These people will always be there and will get special treatment from the staff. Make sure they see you, and always be respectful and positive with them.
4. Be seen. Go there regularly and tip well.
5. Once you are in, start making your moves!