How to become more attractive to women

When guys start thinking about how to become more attractive to women, they often come to the conclusion that they need more money or more muscles – but this just isn’t the case.  With a couple quick tweaks, any guy can easily become more attractive to women.  And if you’re looking attract women easily, here are a few things to do and focus on that will get women chasing you in no time.

The first step in attracting women: confidence

It’s impossible to talk about how to become more attractive to women without mentioning confidence.  This is the biggest thing all women find attractive in men and it is damn near impossible for any guy to have success with women without it.

In order to build up your confidence with women there are a few things you can do.  The first involves building your confidence from the outside.  That means focus on having confident, positive body language.  Keep your head up and back straight (imagine theirs a rope from the base of your spine pulling up through the crown of your head) and let your shoulders roll back and relax.  Maintain steady eye contact with women and be sure to smile — this is one of the best and easiest ways to project confidence.  Doing all this will help you appear relaxed and confident – which is what women want in a guy.  And as an added bonus, adopting confident body language is going to help you feel more confident.

A second way to build confidence with women is from the inside-out.  See, a lack of confidence comes from feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and general negativity.  If you can clear these thoughts away and shift your focus to something more positive, you’ll have an easy time feeling confident and attracting women.

A simple way to shift into the confident mindset that will help you get women is to remind yourself of your own positive qualities.  You can also find things in your current environment/situation that you like and approve of (you’re with great friends; enjoy the music that’s playing, etc).  Keeping your mind focused on what’s positive prevents it from wandering into doubt and negativity.  As a result, you’ll have a much easier time feeling relaxed and confident around women.

Finally, a proven way to build up your confidence is by hitting the gym on a regular basis. As you get older, this becomes more and more necessary. It’s not about getting rock hard abs — it’s about getting your endorphins going and feeling better about how you look on a monthly, not a daily basis. Numerous studies show that going to the gym is one of the best ways to increase your confidence… and believe me, it’s a confidence that other people will notice.

Attracting women with humor

Next to confidence, humor is the most important quality a guy can have to attract women.  It’s like Marilyn Monroe said: “If you make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything”.

Now, showing a girl you have a sense of humor isn’t as difficult as most guys make it out to be.  It’s not like you need to be a stand-up comedian and make women laugh non-stop to get women to like you.  Simply getting a girl to laugh once or twice early on can be all you need to attract women.  You just need to show her that you have a sense of humor – that you have the ability to make her laugh – and you can turn it on when you need to.

As for how to make a girl laugh there are a few key concepts and formulas you can follow that make it easy.  One thing you can do, which is also great for flirting, is to use misinterpretation.  Take what she says and playfully twist it around to make it appear as though she’s hitting on you.  Just be sure to smile when you do this so she knows you’re playing around.

(If you want more detail on how to make a girl laugh and how to attract women with humor check out the Pickup Podcast interview with Zack Browman on high status humor)

How to attract women with your appearance

When it comes to appearance, guys often think attracting women is all about nice hair, big muscles, and expensive watches.  And while these things can help get a woman’s attention, they are far from necessary in attracting women.

As it turns out, getting women to notice you in a positive way through your appearance is very basic.  There are a lot of simple things most guys overlook that can dramatically improve their success with women.  For instance, wearing clothes that fit and a clean, decent pair of shoes can go a long way.   Also, make sure your clothes are wrinkle-free and take a few moments to straighten out your look before you leave the house (fix your hair, trim the beard, etc).  Looking well-groomed and put-together is the key to how to become more attractive to women with your appearance.

Now, if you’re not sure if your look will attract women, enlist the help of a girl you’re friends with.  All women are tuned in to what looks good on a guy and most women will be more than happy to offer advice.  You may even be able to take her shopping with you so you can find some new threads to help your appearance. (For more on how to attract women with the way you dress, check out this Pickup Podcast interview with Aaron Marino)

Become the challenge that women want

One of the biggest mistakes guys make when trying to attract a woman is making things too easy for her.  Even if they barely know her, they make it all too obvious that they are willing to do anything and everything just to get a woman’s attention.

And there’s nothing less attractive to a woman than a guy who seeks her approval.  So if you want to show her that you’re not another guy who will instantly put her on a pedestal – and who instead is a bit of a challenge, here are just two things you can do:

  • Qualify.  After you’ve been talking to a girl for a bit, ask her questions about herself and get her to prove to you that she’s interesting and has more to offer than just her looks. (You can even straight up ask “so what do you have going for you besides your looks?”).  By making her work to win you over, you show her that you’re a bit of a challenge.  Women are attracted to guys who provide a challenge.

  • Be willing to walk away.  Being willing to walk away shows you have standards of your own that she must meet if she’s going to keep you around.  Again, it signals to the girl that you’re a challenge, which women love.

Goals and drive

A lot of guys think they need to have some super awesome career to attract women. Of course, it helps to make money and have a cool job. What’s more important, however, is having goals and drive. Consistently, this is something that we see women expressing an interest in: Not necessarily the guy with the best job, but the guy who has a clear idea of where he wants to go in life and is taking steps toward getting there.

It goes beyond just impressing her with your goals: Having goals and making consistent steps toward achieving them — no matter how small — is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself and grow your confidence. This in turn will make you more attractive to women.

 

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

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