How to Get Women to Notice You – The Art of Charm

Want to know how to get women to notice you?  There’s not much to it, you just need to master these three things.  First, look confident.  Second, appear friendly and approachable so women will be comfortable meeting you.  Finally, stand out from other guys and show her there’s something different about you.  For a detailed description of how to do all that, check out the following tips on how to get girls to notice you.

Stop trying to get girls to notice you

It might sound counterintuitive, but one of the first things you need to do is stop trying to get girls to notice you. Instead, work on things that generally improve yourself, show confidence or get yourself noticed generally. Going out of your way to “get noticed” by girls might get you attention, but it’s not going to be the kind of attention that you want. Look at getting girls to notice you as a structural or holistic endeavor: It’s not one thing, it’s every thing you do.

Make yourself big

If you want to get women to notice you then you’ve got to show women that you’re the confident, high-value man women want. How do you do this?  One way is to take up more space and make yourself big.  Insecure men often shrink away hoping they won’t stick out.  Confident men on the other hand, have no trouble being noticed and owning the space around them.

One great way to take up more space and project confidence is by standing up straight. If you’re the type of guy who slouches, take time — say ten minutes a day — to practice your posture in the mirror. Remember what it feels like to stand up straight. Call on this when you head out for the night to take up space and project confidence.

Just remember that taking up space doesn’t mean being wild and overly animated with your body movements.  Excessive, wild movements tend to convey insecurity and a lack of confidence.  So in addition to allowing yourself to take up space, be sure to keep your body movements calm, controlled, and purposeful.  This will help women see you as the powerful, confident man they want.

Own the room

Your ability to come across as confident has a lot to do with the environment you’re in.  If you’re in an environment you enjoy you’re going to have an easy time relaxing and therefore will appear more confident to women.  On the other hand if you’re in an environment that makes you uncomfortable, women will notice that discomfort and it may appear as though you lack confidence.

A great way to own the room and get noticed is high fives and clinking glasses. Walk around and get high fives from total strangers. It’s pretty easy — almost no one will deny you. You’ll get noticed by everyone at the bar, club or party as a guy who seems to know everyone, as a man who has confidence. Not only will it make you look more confident, it will also build your confidence over time.

So if you want to get girls to notice you, play to your strengthens and stick to environments where you feel comfortable.  For example, if you hate clubs but love coffee shops then focus on meeting women in coffee shops.   If you want to push your comfort-zone and start meeting women in clubs, give yourself a chance to feel comfortable in that space.  Get there early so you have time to get used to the atmosphere.  As a result you’ll find yourself feeling more and more comfortable and confident as the night progresses.

Look approachable

Beyond looking confident you also want to show women you are friendly and approachable.  How do you do this?  One trick is to simply stay alert and engaged in your environment.  For example, a guy looking at his feet with headphones in is signaling to women that he is not to be bothered.  He’s also the type of guy who will fade into the background unnoticed.  But a guy who is actively engaged in his environment – who makes eye contact and smiles at people who walk by – is signaling that he’s an open, friendly guy.  He’s far more likely to be noticed and even approached by women.

Be social

Looking friendly and approachable is a great starting point when learning how to get girls to notice you, and you can take this even further simply by being social with the people around you.

A solid and strong approach isn’t just going to make you look confident: It’s also going to get you noticed around the room. Think of the clinking glasses and high fiving as practice for your approach. It will build up your confidence to approach girls. When you start approaching women strongly and confidently, you’re going to have a massive advantage over most of the guys in the room who don’t approach in such a confident and direct manner.

That’s why a great tip on how to get girls to notice you is to start fun, friendly conversations with the people around you.  If you’re not sure how to do this, one trick is to take note of what a person is wearing and use that as a topic of conversation.  For example let’s say the old lady on the bus next to you has a nice watch, you could say “Cool watch.  Let me guess, it was a birthday present?” and you’re off and running.  You could even turn that conversation into playful banter, saying she’s got such great taste you want to hire her as your personal shopper.  Any attractive women within earshot will overhear your conversation and may start wondering “Who’s that fun guy making that old woman laugh?”

How to get girls to notice you by the way you dress

One of the easiest and most effective ways to stand out among a crowd and get women to notice you is to alter the way you dress.  If you wear clothing that stands out and makes you look unique, then women are going to start looking in your direction more and more.

Now don’t worry, we’re not about to suggest you wear a big fluffy hat or anything outrageous like that.    Something as simple a funny t-shirt, brighter colors, or a fun pin or a button can be all you need to get noticed while showing off your own unique style.

As a general rule, when looking for clothing and accessories that help you stand out don’t worry so much about what women may think.  Focus instead on what you think and how those clothes make you feel.  Find something that stands out but also makes you feel good and powerful when you wear it.  That way even if the clothing doesn’t get women to notice you, the confidence you feel while wearing it will.

How to get girls to notice you (no matter what!)

No matter where you are, what you’re doing, what you’re wearing, or who you’re with, there is one surefire way to get women to notice you – and that is to have fun.  If you’re the fun, positive guy who is enjoying himself no matter the situation, women will take notice and want to join in.

One way to think of this is that anytime you go out you want to create your own little “party bubble”.  Everything within 3 feet of you instantly becomes part of your party bubble and it’s your job to make sure that you – and all the people who enter that space – have a damn good time.

All of this boils down to one thing: Always being your best self.

How to Attract Women

To go beyond how to get girls to notice you and learn how to get girls on a date with you, sign up for the Art of Charm newsletter. Not only will you receive regular emails filled with dating advice and tips on attracting women, but just for signing up you’ll receive a free E-DVD called “4 Steps to Get the Date”.  Just put your email address in the space provided on the right and your free E-DVD will be sent to you right away.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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