742: The Hidden Power of Relationships

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About This Episode

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly – but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent?

What to Listen For

  • How do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals?
  • How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?
  • What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy?
  • What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence?
  • What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else?
  • What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back?
  • Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)?
  • What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy?
  • What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction?

When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors

Episode 694: Becoming High Value

Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship

Episode 738: What Defines Happiness

Episode 739: The Key to Happiness

Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness

Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1139 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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