739: The Key to Happiness? Quality Relationships

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About This Episode

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life?

What to Listen For

  • Why is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy?
  • AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happiness
  • How has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach?
  • Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happiness
  • What is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it?
  • What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness?
  • How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both?
  • AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re young
  • Why are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are?
  • If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness?
  • Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy?
  • What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about?

 

There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness – if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 738: What Defines Happiness

Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier

Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades

 

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Twitter

 

AJ Harbinger - author of 1146 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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