740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

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About This Episode

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life?

What to Listen For

  • Why can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?
  • Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserable
  • In what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?
  • How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?
  • What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?
  • What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?
  • Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?
  • Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challenges
  • What is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important values
  • How do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?

One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in.

Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite.

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Resources from this Episode

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris

Mindfulness Myths on YouTube

The Choice Point on YouTube

ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner’s Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1167 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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