What To Say To Show A Girl You’re Interested (Without Sounding Creepy)

I have a friend (okay, I’m also describing myself from a year ago) who never knows what to say to a girl he likes and as a result never says anything.  He doesn’t want to come across as creepy or just another guy ‘hitting on’ her.  He’s also afraid of putting himself out there and being rejected or even ridiculed.  The girls inevitably get bored and move on.  This is such a silly problem, because the solution is so simple.

For a lot of guys the thought of telling a girl he’s interested in her can be scary.  Whether it’s a girl he just met or one he’s known for years, he’ll blow it up in his heads and make it a bigger deal than it is.  It becomes this huge event and the guy feels he needs to get it perfect.  He needs the right words to say to the girl, the right situation, and he ends up waiting for this ideal opportunity that never comes.

The reality is you don’t need any of that.  After all it’s a compliment to the girl to hear a guy is interested in her.  It makes her feel good and is a nice boost to the self-esteem.  It only becomes weird if the guy makes it weird.

When guys let their insecurities take over, that’s when they come across weird and potentially creepy.  Women can tell by the guy’s body language, voice tone, and what he’s saying that he’s hiding something or putting on a front.  When he overcompensates for his insecurities by trying to show off how smooth and cool he is, it rubs women the wrong way (and everyone else).

The funny thing is it’s perfectly fine to be nervous when telling a girl you like her.  Being a guy who is scared to put himself out there but does it anyway shows courage, and girls will respect that.

To avoid being creepy (or any other fears you may have when telling a girl you’re interested in her) all you have to do is be authentic.  You don’t need the perfect line.  You don’t need the right situation.  Showing your interest in a woman doesn’t need to be some grand earth-shattering event.  You just need to own up to how you feel and state it.  At any point you can just let her know “you know what, I think you’re fucking awesome and want to take you out tomorrow night” or whatever you want to say.  Drop all pretenses and forget about sounding cool or smooth.  She’ll appreciate the compliment and the fact that you’re willing to be so real.  So many guys are so worried about their image and so afraid of rejection that they won’t take risks to show their true selves in this way.  She’ll find it refreshing that you’re willing to be completely genuine.

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Also when you state your interest do so without expecting anything in return.  Think of it as a gift you’re giving to her with no strings attached.  She’s free to do with it what she will.  Showing that you are not dependent on her reactions will make you look more confident and self-assured and therefore more attractive.

A nice way to practice showing interest in women is just to throw out compliments to any girl you see during the day.  Compliment a girl’s shoes at the grocery store.  Compliment the girl at the coffee shop for just looking so damn cute.  Again don’t expect anything in return and not only will you totally make their day, you’ll learn there’s nothing to be nervous about.  You’ll become more confident stating your interest in women.

After you learn it’s not a big deal you can do a few things to stack the deck in your favor to ensure she is becomes interested in you as well.  You can play with the timing, delivery, words you use, situations you do it in, and can even get to the point where everything is said with nothing more than a look.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

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