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PUA Openers: Training Wheels You Don’t Need

PUA OpenersThe guys who teach PUA openers and routines will openly admit that their lines are not needed to attract women. A big reason they teach them is so a guy doesn’t have to worry about what to say to a woman. These lines are essentially training wheels for guys to get comfortable talking to women. The problem is these training wheels can very quickly turn into dead weight that will inhibit your progress in meeting and attracting women. They make guys focus on all the wrong things when interacting with women. Here are 3 examples:

  1.  If a guy spends his time focusing on PUA openers and routines he is completely neglecting the most important parts of an interaction, which are body language and voice tone.  Studies have shown that when people are interacting the words that are spoken make up only 8% of what is communicated, while vocal tone accounts for 35% and body language the additional 57%.  Simply put, what you say is not nearly as important as how you say it.  Guys are much better off learning how to communicate and present themselves in a way women find attractive rather than getting worked up over what words to use.
  2. PUA openers and routines can trick guys into thinking they need to use these lines.  But as I mentioned before, these routines are not around to make the girl feel attracted, they mainly exist to make the guy feel more comfortable.  It’s a mask for a guy to wear because he thinks he can’t get women otherwise.  So he sticks to his routines and puts on a show to impress women.  However since he’s just using other people’s words he often finds himself unable to create a genuine connection.  As a result any girl he gets won’t stick around very long.  Had he just learnt how to authentically show her his best qualities from the start, he would not only increase his chances of bringing her home, he’d have a much better chance of keeping her.
  3. As I learned the hard way, when PUA openers and routines don’t go well you feel like a schmuck and it makes the whole process of meeting woman exponentially more frustrating.  Saying things you don’t mean or care about in the hopes that the girl will let you talk to her will lead to a lot of empty, unsatisfying interactions.  On the other hand when you man up and go direct – tell a girl she’s cute, that you’re interested, take risks and make yourself vulnerable – you’ll feel great about having the stones to say what you feel.   Besides, girls appreciate a guy who’s bold enough to go for what he wants.  You don’t need lines when a little directness can create all the attraction you’ll need.

Instead of memorizing lines and routines you can get conversations going by throwing in a little banter.  Banter creates a light, playful interaction that lets her have fun and feel comfortable talking to you.  A great way to banter is to do a little role playing.  Pretend you have been dating a long time then have a big break-up over something small and silly.  For example:  “Oh you put cream in your coffee? That’s it, this just isn’t working out.  We have to break up.  You keep the car, I get the boat, and we’ll just split the beach house in Hawaii”.

The great thing about banter is there are an endless number of roles the two of you could play.  She could be your personal stylist, the getaway driver for your bank heist, your body guard… anything.  Have fun with it.  The more detail and imagination you can put into it the better.  It’s different every time and a great way for the two of you to get a feel for each other’s personality.  Plus it’s much more fun than robotically spitting out some lines that worked for some other guy five years ago.

So ditch the PUA openers.  Life’s too short to be grinding away trying to perfect lines that ultimately don’t matter.  For a much more authentic and fun way to bring more women into your life, utilize banter.  It’ll take practice to become good but it’s a great way to get a conversation rolling.

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