Online Dating Message Tips

Picture it: You’re sitting at your computer. You’ve found a girl who’s not just smokin’ hot: You also genuine feel like the two of you would be a great fit. You want to nail your messages to her so that you can get the date.

Making the perfect profile is step one. Step two is sending the right message to get her attention, start the conversation and get the date. Here are five tips to achieve online dating success.

Show Her You Read Her Profile

One of the most important things when communicating with women is active listening. Women want to know that you’re interested in more than just how they look; They want to know you’re interested in who they are. The best way to do that is to reference something that they’ve written in their profile. You can make a joke about something you have in common, talk about a common hobby or just say that you read something. Simply recognizing that you read her profile will go a long way toward getting her attention.

Joke Around a Bit

It’s good to start out a conversation online at a dating site with some joking around and playful, flirtatious banter. The reason being, humor is a great way to break the ice, establish some familiarity and get her relaxed. Compare with firing off a bunch of questions or getting too serious right from the get go. One will have her wanting to message back, the other might put her on edge.

Move Things Off the Online Dating Site

Once you’ve been chatting for a bit, you want to move things off the online dating site and onto social media. Reason being, this is a good place to evaluate her further. What’s her profile like? Are her status updates Debbie Downers or does she seem upbeat, fun and with a good and vibrant social life? Her social media is a great place to look for red flags — far better than her online dating profile.

Don’t “Get to Know Her”

You definitely want to get to know a lady, but an online dating site isn’t the place for it. Instead, you want to save that for when the two of you are together. Basically, “getting to know her” slows things down, makes things too serious and gets lost in translation. Most of communication takes place through body language and tone of voice. Thus, the Internet is not the best place for “getting to know you” type conversation. Online dating success is making it work past online dating.

Go For the Date

Of course, the point of online dating success is to go for the date. Once you two have been flirting a bit, you’re going to want to tell her you want to get together. Suggest something to do and a time to do it. Don’t get discouraged if she doesn’t bite on the first try. She might legitimately be busy, or she might want to do your idea, just at a different time.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1124 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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