Dating Advice for Men: First Date Conversation

Most men looking for dating advice are hoping to really get to know their date.  They want the girl to have such a good time that she absolutely has to see him again.  Other men just want dating advice that will help them get laid that night.  No matter the goal it’s imperative to create a comfortable and fun environment that allows her to feel good being around you. This can all be done through conversation.

On the first date you’re just out to have a good time and get to know each other.  You don’t have to find out all of her hopes, dreams, and deep dark secrets and she doesn’t need to know yours.  If the conversation flows that way naturally and you’re both comfortable sharing that kind of information, then go ahead and roll with it.  However it’s not as important to know everything about her as it is to simply get a feel for what she’s like.  That’s why one of the most important pieces of dating advice for men to use is to keep the conversation light and fun.

You also don’t want to have the same boring first date conversation she has with every other guy.  She doesn’t want to just talk about work and take turns listing off a bunch of boring life facts.  You want to get her talking about things she finds engaging and exciting as that will set the tone for the date.

One way to keep the conversation enjoyable is to make references that get her talking about positive experiences she has had or would like to have.  Ask about the trips she’s taken or places she would like to go in the future.  Ask how she would spend her time if she was elected Queen of Earth and could have anything she wanted.  Instead of getting into the details of her current job you could ask her what she wanted to be when she was a kid.  Talking about her failed dreams of being a ballet princess will be a lot more fun for both of you then hearing the ins and outs of real estate development.

Keep in mind whatever question you ask may get thrown back at you.  Also if she’s not comfortable opening up to you yet, then you might have to go first.  For example instead of asking about places she’d like to travel you can start by stating the places you would like to go to.  After you open up she’ll feel more comfortable doing the same.

It can also be fun for both of you to talk about what it was like growing up.  Most people get nostalgic and miss being six years old spending all day building forts and running through sprinklers.  As she’s remembering and talking about these experiences she’ll begin to feel them. Girls want a guy who makes them feel good and as she’s reliving these experiences she’ll associate those feelings with you. She’ll learn that going out with you puts her in a good mood, and she’ll want to do it again.

You can get this sort of conversation rolling by simply asking questions like “so you’re from Tuscon?  That’s interesting, what was it like growing up there?”  Or you could even go with something like “you seem sweet, but I get this feeling that you were a bit of a troublemaker as a kid…” (say this while smiling so it doesn’t sound like an accusation).

While it’s important to have fun there’s also a need to mix things up. Building an emotional connection as well as sexual tension will make the date truly unforgettable. If you can add those elements into providing a fun, positive, relaxed atmosphere then she’ll be dying to see you again.  Hell, she might not even let you leave and will insist on going back to her place instead. It happens. To learn how to mix these elements into not just your dates, but ALL your interactions with women, check out our live bootcamps in NY and LA.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Building A Connection

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