Is this your first Valentine’s Day with a girlfriend? If so, there’s a good chance that you’re totally lost in terms of what to do. The good news is that you’re not alone. In fact, it’s common for men who are old hat at this to have no idea what to get their girlfriends or where to take them for Valentine’s Day. So you need a little bit of dating advice. Who doesn’t? The Art of Charm is here to help make your Valentine’s Day not just painless, but pleasurable, memorable and a template for all future ones.
Don’t Feel Like You Have to Spend a Lot
Here’s the thing about gifts and dates on Valentine’s Day: Your mother was right, it really is the thought that counts. Sure, women like it when a guy spends money on them. They like it a lot more when a guy gives them a gift that shows that they really know who they are or takes them to an exciting place that they never would have gone on their own. Focus less on how much you’re going to spend and more on what kind of thought you’re putting into it.
Time and Attention Are Most Important
Following off of the above, time and attention are the best gifts that you can give anyone. Remember this when formulating plans and picking out a gift. What she really wants from you this Valentine’s Day isn’t the money spent, the candy or the flowers: She wants to go out on a date with you, to spend time with you, to have fun and get some of your attention.
Gifts: Less Is More
When it comes to gifts, it’s easy to overgift. This is especially true if this is your first Valentine’s Day with a girl. Setting a limit on what you’re going to spend isn’t a bad idea. Remember that even if you two are “dating,” she might feel a little pressured if you’re spending a lot of money on her. It’s always better to get her something small that’s “just perfect” than to try and impress her with money.
Where are you headed? Think about that for a second. Some of the best dating advice about what to wear on Valentine’s Day is to not wear the bare minimum, but to go a little above and beyond. You don’t need to wear a three-piece suit to head out to your favorite restaurant for the night (unless that’s what they wear there). You just need to look like you think that this is an important night. She’ll notice.
Little Romantic Touches Make a Big Difference
When you head out for your first Valentine’s Day date, you don’t have to overdo it. However, you should pay some attention to minor romantic flourishes. Open doors for her. Pull out her chair. Things like that. Show her that she’s special to you. Show up with flowers and candy. Remember that it’s the little things that can make a very big difference at any stage of a relationship.
AJ Harbinger - author of 1111 posts on The Art of Charm
AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
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