Guys who want to know how to turn a girl on with conversation often want that one magic line that promises to arouse any girl. But this search is not only futile (these lines don’t exist), it’s wildly limiting.
You see, there are several different ways of turning a girl on through conversation beyond “magic lines”. You can play with sexual tension by talking dirty, starting a sexual conversation about what you two like, or using touch to spark dirty thoughts while you have a seemingly mundane conversation.
By understanding the multiple avenues available in this dirty talk guide you’ll be able to get a girl more turned on than any single line ever could.
Step 1: Your words
One method of how to turn a girl on with conversation involves turning the conversation sexual.
“Oh, all I have to do is talk dirty?”
Bringing up sex will prime her brain to start thinking about sex. And the more she thinks about sex, the more turned on she’ll get. After all, merely thinking dirty things is enough to trigger the physiological response of sexual arousal which will get her turned on.
Knowing you’ve got to turn the conversation sexual is one thing, but actually doing it is another.
Use Innuendos to Start Talking Dirty
For guys who don’t want to come across as overly aggressive or creepy, talking dirty may seem like it falls under the category of most difficult conversations to lead. But there are easy ways to do it while keeping the conversation fun and playful.
One method is to use sexual innuendos that lead to dirty talk.
Sexual innuendos mean talking about something non-sexual in a way that makes it seem sexual. Certain words and phrases (something being hard, getting wet, etc) lend themselves to sexual innuendo rather easily.
The more you look for those words and phrases that could be taken sexually, the easier it is to find and use them. (If you need examples, watch some clips of Todd from the show Scrubs).
Another way to strike up a dirty conversation is to ask questions about sex. For example, you can ask her what her favorite sex position is. You want to have some foundation of rapport established before asking personal questions like that. But if you’re comfortable with the subject matter and she feels you won’t judge her, she will answer the question.
In addition, if you’re unsure about how comfortable she might be talking about THE sexual intercourse, feel free to give your answer first. This is the equivalent of walking into a dark cave first to prove it’s safe for anyone to follow.
“What’s your favorite position? I love doggie style because I feel like I can go deeper while grabbing the woman’s hips tight.”
You can also pose the question as an innuendo to gauge how comfortable she is. The key is to ask it with a smile and pay attention to her facial expression when you pause after the question and before you follow it up.
“What’s been your favorite position? [Pause and smile] I’m talking about at work, by the way, get your mind out of the gutter.”
If she seems offended initially, you need to warm her up some more. If she reacts playfully, you’re on the right track. And if she ignores the follow-up and tells you her favorite sex position, then you have the green light to take the sex talk further.
Naughty Dream Technique
The next time you’re spending time together, say something to the effect of, “By the way, I had the dirtiest dream about you last night.”
This is best used after the attraction between you two is obvious. Maybe you’ve already kissed or made out. It can be used before that point, but use it at your own risk.
She’ll probably reply with something like, “Oh? What happened?”
Then you launch into a story about how the two of you were walking through a park and it started to rain. So you took her by the hand to run to take cover under a nearby bridge, but tripped and fell on the way. You both tripped and fell into the mud, getting both of you super dirty.
“Hahaha you’re funny!”
The statement about the dirty dream planted thoughts of sex in her mind, but then you made it into a rather innocent story. Depending on how she responds, you can finish the story by talking about what happened after she rolled on top of you and pressed her wet body against yours.
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Step 2: Project Sexuality
Turning the conversation sexual will be a big help, but merely talking about sex isn’t enough. When talking about sex, guys are still likely to make one of two common errors.
Mistake #1: Some guys will try too hard, making a point to show the girl how sexual they are. Think of dirty talk as a seasoning for your interactions. Dirty talk should be used occasionally to convey sexual intentions and a comfort with sex. If used too much, it comes across as overbearing, aggressive, and even a bit creepy, which can make her feel uncomfortable.
Mistake #2: Other guys go the opposite way and don’t talk dirty at all. They’re uncomfortable having a sexualized conversation with a girl because they don’t want to come across as creepy or disrespectful. If you’re uncomfortable being sexual around a girl, she’ll be uncomfortable being sexual around you.
How to Project Sexuality
When it comes to projecting sexuality, the most important thing is that you’re comfortable with your own sexuality. Show her that being sexual and talking about sex is no big deal. If you’re comfortable with it, she will feel more comfortable talking about it.
An exercise that may help you project that kind of confidence is to “act as if”. See yourself as the kind of guy who’s comfortable being sexual with women. The type of guy who could go out and get any woman he wanted. A guy who knows many women want him (so he has nothing to prove) and knows he can give any girl the best sex of her life.
Get familiar with how that feels and begin to act how that guy (who’s just a more idealized version of yourself) would act. Eventually, it’ll become your natural behavior and you’ll be able to project sexuality effortlessly. If it feels uncomfortable, that’s natural because you’re not used to it yet.
Step 3: Touch
As great as sexy conversation, dirty talk, and projection are, at a certain point, you have to do something about it. You don’t want to come across as a guy who’s all talk and bravado but no action. If you can’t back up your words with action before the bedroom, she won’t have much confidence in your ability to satisfy her in the bedroom.
Touch demonstrates you’re comfortable getting intimate with her. And as a bonus, physical touch releases oxytocin in the brain – so just by touching her, you’re getting her to feel good. And the further you are allowed to take your touch, the more turned on she’s going to be.
Move From Dirty Talk to Touch
The most effective way to take advantage of this is to start touching early with light, playful taps in non-intrusive areas. This gets her comfortable with your touch and gives you something to build from.
As you continue the interaction you’ll want to gradually increase the amount of touching you do (both frequency and duration of the touch) and then touch her in more personal areas (though not too personal… save that for later).
Here’s an example: Early in the interaction lightly tap her arm – right around the elbow. From there you can gradually begin to touch her in areas that are a bit more personal. Put your hand on her upper back and shoulder and start to let it rest for a few moments before taking it away.
That gives her the chance to get comfortable with your touch without being overwhelmed by it (taking your touch away shows you’re not out there to grope her and leaves her wanting more). Women love to be teased in a sexual way partly because so many guys don’t even try to build anticipation before sex. Continue to touch more and more intimate areas (lower back, outer thigh and eventually getting to her stomach, inner thigh, and face).
The further along you get (with her compliance), the more excited she’s going to be.
Touching is so powerful that it can completely transcend the words you use. You can be talking about the most boring subject in the world but if you’re holding her close, stroking her hair and face, caressing her thigh, and whispering in her ear as you do it… then it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, she won’t be able to stop thinking about sex.
How to Turn a Conversation Dirty FAQ
How do you start a flirty conversation?
The best way to start a flirty conversation is to simply play with the words you use because flirting is all about having fun and being playful. Below are three ways you can play with your words or her words to make a conversation flirty.
Tease her. Don’t be afraid to poke fun at her in a playful, good-natured way. Not only will teasing her make her laugh, but it shows that you’re not a suck-up.
If she expresses an interest in something, like, “I love marshmallows,” you can respond with, “Oh, this is never going to work out between us!”
The key is to say it playfully so it’s clear that you’re teasing her. If you say it with zero emotion in your voice and a frown on your face, you failed!
Misinterpret what she says. Another way to start a flirty conversation is to guess how she might answer your question. This is a great way to turn a normally boring conversation into a flirty conversation.
If you ask her, “How was your day?” then before she has a chance to answer, follow it up with something like, “Let me guess, you robbed ANOTHER bank to help pay for our honeymoon? You’re too thoughtful!”
Starting the sentence with a boring question sets an expectation that she’ll have to provide a boring answer, then you flip it on its head with the follow-up, and suddenly her expectation switches from “Lame question” to “Haha this guy’s fun, I’ll play along.”
Roleplay. Roleplay is perfect for starting a flirty conversation because it provides a playful way to create a shared experience that makes her smile. She also feels more connected to you by sharing what your collaborative imaginations can come up with.
You can say something as silly and playful as “I’m looking for a superhero sidekick. Tell me about the last time you saved the world from an evil supervillain.”
This jolts her out of autopilot and whatever life stuff she might be dealing with, and puts her in a playful mood.
How do you make a girl obsess over you?
Men and women want what they can’t have. If you make things too easy for a girl it will be a turn-off, so give her a chance to chase you.
Disqualify yourself. To look more confident and avoid coming across as needy, playfully disqualify yourself from her dating pool.
Say something like: “Woah! You like [thing she likes]? I didn’t know you were that type! I might have to get my mom’s permission just to kick it with you again…”
By playfully pushing her away, you create the space for her to chase you.
Do not over text. This is one of the worst texting mistakes guys make as too much texting can destroy attraction. As a general rule, whoever is putting the most effort into communication is the one doing the chasing.
So if you want to be pursued rather than the pursuer, then don’t over-text.
Instead, look to keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and text her about as frequently as she texts you.
How do you turn a conversation into sexting?
The simplest way to turn a text conversation into sexting is with innuendos. Innuendos work because they create a sexual undertone in a conversation. This allows her mind to go to a sexy place without using explicit language. And if she starts thinking sexy things about you “on her own” then she will start associating you with sex.
Use innuendo and dirty texts to convey sexual desire, and gauge her response. If she seems into it and/or plays along, that’s a green light to keep going. Just remember that sexy texts should be treated like seasoning. If you use too much, the sexual connection could be ruined. People lose interest in something when they know they don’t have to work for it.
If you can get all of this working together – sexualized conversation, showing comfort and confidence in your own sexuality, and touching intimately – you’ll drive her wild. She’ll become completely turned on and be dying for you to take things further.
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