How to Evoke Flirting Body Language

Flirting body language can be easy to spot.  See a girl lean in, make strong eye contact, touch you, giggle, and start blushing, and it’s pretty clear that she’s into you.  But how can you evoke this kind of flirting body language in a girl you’ve just met?  Check out the tips below to find out.

Flirty eye contact
If you want the girl to hold strong eye contact with you then you’ve got to lead the way.  You’ve got to make and hold strong eye contact with her first.  That means no darting your eyes away when a girl catches you looking at her.  Instead, hold her eye contact while maintaining a soft, warm gaze.  When done right she’ll melt right there in front of you.

Another way to think of “a soft, warm gaze” is “smiling with your eyes”.  You know that warm, relaxed feeling you get in your eyes after you’ve laughed really hard?  That is the feeling you want to have when making eye contact with a girl.  That way your gaze won’t feel hard and creepy.  It will be warm and inviting.  She’ll feel drawn to you and respond with that strong, deep eye contact you were hoping for.

Get her laughing
Begin the conversation by showing the girl you’re not looking to get anything from her.  You’re just a fun, friendly guy looking to have a good time.  When there’s no agenda and you’re just out having fun, flirty conversations, she’ll be able to relax and feel comfortable talking with you.

One way to get the ball rolling on a fun, flirty conversation is through playful teasing.  Poke fun at the girl in a playful, good-natured way.  Say something like “You know, you’d look really cute in a purple Mohawk” while keeping a big smile on your face.  This gets a conversation going and establishes that flirty, playful tone at the same time.

An important think to keep in mind when starting a conversation with a girl in this way is to be self-amusing.  Don’t worry so much about whether or not you get her smiling and laughing.  Instead focus on getting yourself smiling and laughing.  If the conversation is fun for you then it’s much more likely to be fun for her, too.

Draw her in
Positive body language (when a girl faces you completely, leans in towards you, makes a lot of eye contact) is a form of flirting body language.  To evoke this specific kind of flirting body language you’ve got to prove to her that you’re not like every other guy.  Show her that you’re different.  You’re a challenge.  You’re a guy with high-standards and although you may be interested in her, you’re not completely sold just yet.

An easy way to show you’re interested – but not yet sold – is to ask her questions about herself.  Specifically questions that get her to talk about herself in a positive way.  Questions like “So what’s your deal?” or “What are three things I wouldn’t know about you by looking?” are great examples.  They’re open-ended, so a girl can answer however she wants.  They also get her to talk about herself in a positive way, which automatically puts her in the role of the girl trying to win you over.  Most important of all, these questions actually give you a chance to get to know her better.  That way you can see if she actually is a girl you want to spend more time with.

Get her touching you
The most obvious sign of flirting body language is when a girl starts touching you.  To get a girl touching you, break the touch barrier yourself and start touching her.  Give her light, playful taps with the back of your hand just above her elbow.  As the conversation continues and she proves to be okay with your touch, use an open hand and touch her upper arm, shoulder, back, thigh, etc.  By leading the way and touching her first you show that it’s okay for her to start touching you, too.

(For a more in-depth look at how to use touch to build attraction with women, check out the Art of Charm toolbox episode on touch.)

Turn her on
If you want to take her flirting body language to the next level and really get a girl turned on you’ve got to continue building sexual tension.  How can you do this?  You can start by turning the conversation sexual.  Sexual innuendos can be great for this as they bring sex into the conversation in a playful way.

Once sex is introduced into the conversation it gives you a foundation to build from.  Down the road you can be more direct, saying things like “You’re so turning me on right now”.  Since you’ve already shown yourself to be a sexual being comfortable talking about sex, comments like this won’t feel out of place.  Instead, they’ll be effective in building the sexual tension and getting her turned on.

Mindsets for flirting with women
While the actions described above are key for evoking flirting body language, what’s even more important is getting the right mindset.  When you have the right mindsets in place then the type of actions mentioned earlier flow easily and naturally.

One mindset you want to have in order to evoke flirting body language is to assume the girl is already attracted to you.  You don’t have to say or do anything special to prove yourself to her.  She’s already sold.  When you have this attitude it becomes much easier to relax and be both confident and sexual with women.  With this mindset you’ll find more and more women becoming attracted to you and showing you that flirting body language.

More flirting tips
Want more flirting tips?  The Art of Charm has dozens of articles that cover every aspect of flirting with women.  To learn the ins and outs of how to charm and flirt with women click here.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

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