How to Tell a Girl You Like Her Without Freaking Her Out

How do you tell a girl you like her the right way? It’s a problem that many men struggle with. On the one hand, there are men who are very emphatic in telling women how much they like them. On the other hand, there are very guarded men who never share with women how much they like them. The Art of Charm wants you to walk a path between these two. We want you to tell a girl that you like her so that she responds to you. Read on to find out how we do it.

Why We Let Her Know We Like Her

Why even let her know that you like her? Why not just leave her wondering? That will get her working harder for you to like her, right?

Obviously this is the wrong way to go about things. It selects for low-value women, the last thing that we want you dating. Letting women know that you like them in the right way gets her more interested in you. It separates you from the rest of the pack. It’s a way for you to show confidence, while also creating a deeper connection.

But how do you tell a girl you like her so that she responds in the way you want?

Letting Her Know You Like Her Out at a Bar

You’re out at the bar. You’ve been talking and chatting with her for a while. There’s a brief pause in the conversation, at a high point when she’s having a killer time. Now is the time to strike. But what’s the right way to let her know you like her?

  • Keep It Simple: How do you tell a girl you like her when you just met her? So the trick is to keep it simple and general. Say something along the lines of “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you.” Leave it at that.

  • Make It Non-Physical: Every woman wants to be appreciated for something other than her looks. So when you tell her that you like her, make sure that she knows it’s for something other than her appearance. This includes how she dresses or does her makeup.

  • Move On: Again: You just met her. So after you express interest, move on. Just continue the conversation and leave it there. She heard you and she gets it.

Do you see how simple and easy letting a woman know that you’re into her can be when you’re out at a bar? Other situations aren’t much more complicated.

Letting Her Know You Like Her On a Date

You had a great time with her and got her number. You asked her out on a date and she said yes. Now you’re on that date and you want to let her know that you’re into her. That’s great! You should totally do that. Here’s how to make it work for you when you’re on a date:

  • Wait for a High Point: Always express interest at a high point in a date.

  • Keep It Simple: Are you seeing a pattern here? You should always keep things simple. Just tell her that you’re having a great time with her. No need to be complicated. The simpler the better.

  • Keep It Scarce: Don’t tell her that you’re having a good time more than once or twice. Anything more than this can make things a little awkward, or worse, make you seem needy.

That’s great for one date, but how do you tell a girl you like her after you’ve been “dating” for a while?

Letting Her Know You Like Her After Several Dates

Keeping our general principles in mind — keep it simple, wait for a high point — now you want to really express interest. The way to let her know that you really like her after several dates is simple: At a high point on a date, you very directly tell her that you think it’s been going great, that you want to keep seeing her and maybe even that you think the two of you have a future together.

Again: keep it simple and direct. This is the best way to tell her that you’re into her without putting too much pressure on her, making these awkward or seeming needy.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1162 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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