How to Start Dating After Divorce

A divorce is one of the hardest things a man can go through in his life. And one of the hardest parts of your divorce? Knowing how and when to start dating after a divorce. There may not ever be a perfect time, but there is a time when you’re ready to start wading back into that pool. When you get there, here’s some advice from The Art of Charm on how to start dating after divorce.

Give Yourself Time

There’s no rush when it comes to getting back into dating. In fact, the time that you spend not dating is time that you can use for yourself. What can you do with that time?

  • Learn New Skills: Whether it’s a new language or carpentry, learning new skills give you something to distract yourself from negative feelings and is never time wasted.
  • Explore Your Career: Another way to spend your time that’s never wasted is throwing yourself into your career. Be the guy who shows up early, leaves late and works twice as hard as everyone else.
  • Hit the Gym: You need to hit the gym anyway. Now is the perfect time to do it. You’re going to be able to burn off some of those negative feelings, as well as get yourself in shape — something that’s going to help when you go out and start dating after divorce.

In short, use this time to develop yourself, not dig yourself into a hole.

Remember: There’s No Perfect Time

This is important. A lot of guys are sitting around waiting for the perfect time to get back into dating again after a divorce. What they don’t realize is that getting back out there is part of the healing process. Getting out there — just for the sake of getting out of the house and having fun — is something you should aim to do on a night when you’re feeling particularly upbeat. Don’t rush things, but don’t hide, either. It should be fun and you should be looking forward to start dating after divorce.

Be Positive!

Negativity isn’t going to help anything, whether it’s meeting women or start dating after divorce. This might be easier said than done, but focusing on the positive is going to make you feel a lot better, as well as make you a lot more attractive to people that you meet when you’re out and about. Positivity attracts positivity, so if you focus on the good and save attention on the bad for when it’s appropriate, you’re going to do yourself a huge favor.

Don’t Compare

Your ex is your ex. The new women that you’re meeting are new women you’re meeting. There’s no reason to compare the two, either positively or negatively. It’s generally not a great idea to talk about your ex at all until you’re more seriously dating and she asks about it. Otherwise, use the time that you’re going out and talking to women as a place for you to not think about all the stuff that’s bothering you, like how to start dating after divorce.

Again: Going through a divorce is hard and the really hard part starts when it’s finally over and you need to start your life anew. However, if you follow these tips the process can go a lot smoother — especially when it comes to getting out there and dating again.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1132 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

Email · Google+ · Facebook


in Art of Dating, Break-Ups & Divorce, Dating Tips

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.