Seeing Is Not Believing

Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. How many of you understand this statement? Basically you will not be able to see signs of attraction because you do not believe she is sending them.

How could you see them if they are not there? Is it in your reality that she could be attracted to you? If it is you would be able to see the signs and if you could not see them you could just assume that they are there.

The less of a structured reality you have the better, before I knew pickup my game was to sit at the bar where I knew everybody wait till a lone cute girl ordered a drink and I would begin talking to her usually skipping attraction and going into lame light rapport topics. If the girl kept talking to me for over 20 minutes I would assume she was attracted to me. I then would either pull the trigger there in the bar or ask her to leave with me. I lived close by. This worked on a very inconsistent level but worked with decent results (I was getting laid) nonetheless.

I just went for it, I figured what did I have to lose she either liked me or did not and had such a high confidence in myself from external foundations (music, job, friends) that a rejection never really bothered me on too big a level. If I felt bad about pulling the trigger I would call the next day to apologize which would always end with girls giggling saying what for? I would always see these girls again and we would laugh about it. I learned they expected it and liked that I gave it a shot.

After studying social dynamics for some time I got wise to isolating and reading cues and giving them reasons to backwards rationalize sleeping with me. In fact I would be the guy they would call when they wanted laid. No hang-ups just good fun.

Even in those early stages my reality was pretty open. Later when I started studying I had it completely blown apart and had decided to never put a cap on it to keep it open to every possibility. Why miss out on something because I did not feel it could exist. That is no way to go through life. It is one of the top five things to take away from all of the content out there on pick-up.

Your belief system needs to set up to aid you in your learning process, without it can be a fruitless experience. All the work you have done in the field can be flushed down the toilet because you will have failed to see the results that are slapping you in the face. You believe that beautiful women could not be attracted to you then you will be looking for those negative reactions.

You will need to reprogram your reality, your belief system. Some of the things you can do are:

  1. Affirmations
  2. Positive visualizations (the perfect approach)
  3. Focusing on positives in set
  4. Assuming attraction in all social situations

Giving you little or no reaction is as good as a positive reaction. A woman’s signals are going to be subtle. She cannot be overt in her signs because she has her reputation to protect and does not want to be alienated from her social circle for being a slut. They are so subtle that by the time you had realized 3 she had sent you 20. So basically look at it this way. If she is still standing there she is still fair game to be gamed. She will leave if she gets bored.

This is why it is so important for you to assume attraction. This way you can concentrate on your body language with out sweating every move of hers on whether or not she is attracted. Give it your all and by then end of your attraction set if she is giving you positive body language and smiling count it as a green light and move forward!

photo by R’eyes

Johnny Dzubak - author of 63 posts on The Art of Charm

Johnny happened upon the field of Social Dynamics and dating coaching quite by accident. Having been a touring musician much of his life, he felt the need to contribute positively to the world and was interested in the power of personal transformation. Johnny began educating himself about Social Dynamics and incorporating the concepts he learned into his day-to-day life. Soon after, he began coaching for a small Social Dynamics company out of Washington, DC; it was then that he met AJ & Jordan.

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