The Ins and Outs of Meeting Girls at Bars

Bars are often seen as the best places to meet women for one simple reason: that’s where the women are.  But actually meeting women in bars isn’t always that easy.  To learn what you can do to start having more success meeting women in bars, check out the tips below.

Pick the right bar

The idea that bars are among the best places to meet women is only true when you pick the right bar.  So before heading to a bar to meet girls make sure it fits the following criteria:

First, pick a bar you enjoy for its own sake.  The kind of bar you feel comfortable in, and where you could have fun even if no women showed up.  By going to a bar you actually enjoy you’re going to find it far easier to relax and have a good time.  As a result you’ll appear more attractive to the women who look your way, and you’ll naturally have an easier time starting fun, engaging conversations with women.

Second, make sure it’s a bar women go to and enjoy.  Talk to female friends or head to yelp.com and see how women rate the different bars in your area.   It goes without saying that by going to the same bars women frequent you’ll have more opportunities to meet girls.

Become a regular

Once you have found the bar you like you can turn it into one of the best places to meet women by becoming a regular.  Swing by each week when you go out – even if it’s just to pop in for a casual drink before meeting your friends elsewhere.  While you’re there strike up some light banter with the doorman, bartenders, and other regulars.  Get on friendly terms with the people there and turn this bar into a “home base”.

By doing this you’ll feel more and more comfortable there – almost as if you own the place.  That’s going to boost your confidence and make it way easier to approach and talk to women.  Also, having the staff and other regulars on your side will give you the “social proof” that’ll get women to notice you in a good way.  When women see that you’re friends with everyone there, they’ll start to see you as a “high-value” guy worth knowing.

Get there early

No matter what bar you wind up going to for the night make a point to get there early.  This is especially important if you know you’re going to a place that isn’t your “scene”.  Arriving early gives you the chance to get acclimated with the environment so you can feel more relaxed, comfortable, and confident.

Before the crowd arrives do what you’d do at your “regular” bar and look to banter with the staff or whoever is around.  Doing this gets your social muscles warmed up and ready to go.  It also gets you in the good graces of the staff, which can pay dividends later on in the night.  It is, after all, much easier to make a good impression on a girl when the bartender makes serving you a priority, or offers to give you and whoever you’re with a free shot.

Make women come to you

Once the bar has picked up a bit the best places to meet women are going to be “high traffic” areas.  These are places like the corner of the bar that have a lot of people passing through.  Post up at one of these areas and make it your spot.  Rather than running around chasing women, you’ll have the benefit of having women passing right by you on a regular basis.

To really utilize this high-traffic area turn it into your own personal “party bubble”.  Think of everything within 3 feet of you as being part of that bubble, and anyone who passes in that space has just joined your party.  Cheers their glass, offer up a high-five, or just start some playful banter.  When you create this kind of positive environment women will be more likely to notice you when they scan around the bar.  They’ll want to join in, and when they come by you can just engage them the same way you did for everyone else who passed through.

What to say

Part of the reason bars are viewed as one of the best places to meet women is because starting a conversation with a girl at a bar can be very simple.  After all, the whole reason people go out to bars is to relax, have fun, and socialize.  So getting a conversation going is as simple as throwing out some fun, playful banter.

At its core banter is nothing more than content-free conversation.  It can range from playful teasing, to role-playing, to chatting about something in the environment.  There’s not much to it other than having fun, being self-amusing, and keeping it light.

A great go-to banter line you can use to start a conversation with any woman at any bar is the line “You look like trouble…”  This is a fun, playful conversation starter that can send a conversation in a thousand different directions.  Just be sure to deliver it or any other banter line with a smile so she knows you’re playing around.  By starting the conversation on this fun, playful note, you’ve got a great shot at sparking that interest and attraction.

Step-by-step system for attracting women

To take full advantage of bars and all the other best places to meet women it’s helpful to have detailed, step-by-step system for meeting and attracting women.  To get just that, check out the Art of Charm Online Academy here.  This six-month training program is loaded with hours and hours of video, as well as drills and exercises, designed to teach you everything you need to know to get and keep the girl.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

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