Is She Into Me…Or My Bro?

Admit it: You’ve asked yourself this question at least once. You want to know if the girl that you’re talking to – is she into me or my bro? Still, it can be a hard thing to figure out, especially if you don’t know the key signs of attraction. While you’ll never know with 100 percent certainty until you seal the deal with a kiss, here’s a brief guide on knowing who the girl you’re talking to out at the bar or club is into… you or your bro.

Who Is She Talking To?

This one is the most basic: Who does she spend most of her time talking to. Say that the three of you are in a group. Is she more engaging to you or your friend? Whoever it is, chances are slim that she’s talking to them because she’s too nervous to talk to the guy she’s actually into. In fact, this is a really solid way of knowing who she’s into. On the other hand, if she’s physically separated from you, it might just be that she’s talking to your bro at the moment when she’d rather be talking to you.

Who Is She Facing?

Here’s another sign for when the three of you are in a group together: Who is she facing? For example, if she’s between the two of you and she’s turned totally toward you, she’s probably not that interested in your friend — and vice versa. Don’t parse this one out too much. The fact that she’s turned 3 degrees toward your friend probably doesn’t mean a whole lot, but if she’s giving him all of her physical attention, that’s a sign that she’s more into him than you.

Has She Touched Either Of You?

Touch is very powerful and says things that words never can. What’s more, touch doesn’t have to be obvious. It can be a very subtle type of touch, like playfully slapping you on the shoulder or touching your hand. If she’s doing that kind of stuff to you, she’s probably into you. On the other hand, if she keeps laughing at your buddy’s joke while giving him one of those “STOP!” slaps, she’s probably more into him.

If She Leaves the Group, Who Does She Go Up To?

Throughout the course of a night at a bar or a club, people who talk to each other part ways. Then they come back together. Say that the girl goes off to get a drink at the bar, hit the bathroom or even dance. Who does she come back up to when she’s done? This is a really clear sign, because she’s in total control of the person that she talks to at that point. Who does she choose to speak to?

Be Honest With Yourself

The most important thing that you need to take away from this is that you need to be honest with yourself about who she’s into. If you’re obsessively wondering, “Is she into me or my bro?”, keep in mind there’s no reason to get into a fight with your friend over a woman. If she’s more into him, step back and find another. There’s plenty of women wherever you are. On the other hand, don’t take yourself out of the game if you don’t need to.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1162 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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