Art of Charm Toolbox | Banter: Part 2 (Episode 8)

This week, in the second of a two-part episode, AJ and Jordan outline another important tool: banter and role play. You’ll learn how to playfully take yourself and the women you meet mentally away from the social pressure of a pickup, allowing you to later generate solid rapport and connection.

Continued from Banter: Part 1, AJ and Jordan cover more aspects of banter, such as push/pull and other playful teasing.

“In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.” -Unknown

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What is Banter?

  • It’s the art of jovial/flirtation conversation.
  • It gets you away from the nervousness of meeting someone new.
  • It allows you to use imagination/roleplay/humor to put a girl into a friendly and flirty mindset.
  • It’s a way to make someone forget that she just met you five minutes ago.
  • It allows you to disqualify yourself in a playful manner (false disqualifier), and turn it into a roleplay.
  • It lets you use your imagination, not your logic!
  • It’s not banter.
  • It lets you flip the script on the girl. Example: Joke that she has to protect you from other girls attacking you.
  • It allows you to remember to have fun with your roleplay, not be boring or predictable.
  • It reminds you to stay away from interview questions (Where are you from? What is your job? etc.). That information will come out as you interact with her and tell each other stories.
  • It avoids conversation enders (such as sarcasm).

Negs that point out flaws are not good banter.

Use “pegs” — the opposite of negs.

Use stock banter lines if you can’t think of your own. As you get comfortable using them, make them your own and make up your own.

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1132 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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