If you’re like a lot of men you have text messaged a girl. You can even flirt with her a little bit. However, like a lot of men, while you can do all these things over text, you still have trouble asking a girl out on a date.
Texting is a godsend to men and their game. It allows for communication to happen asynchronously, which makes a lot of men far more comfortable. However, the trouble with texting is that it is often seen as an end to itself, rather than a way to try and get a date.
Wonder no more how to ask a girl out over text. Read this article (and be aware of these 5 texting mistakes to avoid) and you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to level up your text game and get the girl of your dreams to agree to go on a date with you.
Table of contents
Step 1: Initiate the Text
The first thing that you need to do when you text a woman that you want to ask out is getting things going. How do you do this? With light, playful banter. Get her smiling. Get her laughing. Try and call back to something that happened when you two met or something that happened on your last date. The point is to create a chain of positive associations that will relax her and put her in a good mood before you ask her out on a date.
Step 2: Chatting and Flirting
Don’t be afraid to let this go on for a little bit. You want to keep the energy up, spark attraction, and inspire some butterflies in her. Get her energy levels up before you ask her out on a date. Wait for a high point in your texting interaction before you actually ask her out. Use this time to get to that high point. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can even turn her on over text. That will be a guaranteed high point.
Step 3: Moving Toward the Goal
When you reach a high point in the text interaction, you want to move toward your goal: Asking her out. A lot of guys stay in the rapport and banter stage of interaction for way too long when they text. It’s one of the biggest mistakes guys make when texting. They just keep talking and talking without going anywhere. Remember that texting is great, but that it’s a means to an end. You’re trying to achieve a goal and that goal is how to ask a girl out over text.
Once you reach a high point, you want to shift the conversation to say that you two should get together sometime. Don’t make it a question. Just say that you want to get together sometime. Then suggest something that you think that she would be into doing with you.
Step 4: Logistics
After you’ve gotten her to agree to meet up with you, it’s time to handle logistics. You need to figure out where you two are meeting and if anyone is picking anyone up. Handling logistics the right way is one of the most important parts of making sure that your text date actually happens and goes off without a hitch.
Once you’ve handled logistics for your date, it’s time to say that you’re looking forward to it and then put the phone down. Most interpersonal communication has nothing to do with the words that you use and everything to do with your body language and tone of voice — things that no text can ever convey.
BONUS: When to Cut Bait
Ok, but what if she says no to your date? Well, there’s a “three strikes and she’s out” rule: Give three suggestions for things to do or times to get together. If she’s not interested in any of the above or unable to make any of the dates, you’re done. Your time is better spent looking for another girl who’s more interested in a date.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is a cute way to ask a girl out over text?
Try a playful text with a touch of humor, like “I’ve got a huge problem… Ninjas are hunting me down and I heard they can’t enter cafes. Coffee this weekend?” Adding a sprinkle of charm and a dash of wit to your text can make asking her out feel less daunting and more delightful. It’s about creating a moment of light-heartedness that can make her smile. Think of something that connects to an inside joke you shared or a common interest. For instance, if she loves art, you could say, “Hey, I’m planning a heist to steal a painting from the art museum this weekend. I need a partner in crime. You in?” It’s cute, unexpected, and shows you’re paying attention to her interests.
Is it OK to ask a girl out over text?
Absolutely, it’s OK to ask a girl out over text, especially in today’s digital age where many relationships bloom online. Asking a girl out over text can be a less intimidating way to make the first move. It gives her the space to respond on her own time, which can be less pressure for both of you. The key is to keep it casual yet clear. You want to be direct enough that she knows it’s a date, but relaxed enough that it doesn’t put too much pressure on her decision. Remember, it’s not just about asking her out; it’s about making her feel excited and comfortable about the idea of going out with you.
How do I ask my crush out over text?
Be direct and assertive when asking your crush out over text, like “I really enjoy talking to you. Let’s continue over coffee this weekend.” Texting your crush to ask them out can feel nerve-wracking, but it’s all about being genuine and showing your interest. Avoid beating around the bush; be clear that you’re asking for a date, not just a casual hangout. Personalize your message based on your interactions. If you both love a certain type of activity like running, suggest a scenic run that ends at an outdoor cafe or bar. Show that you’ve been paying attention to what they like. This personal touch can make the invitation more appealing and shows you’re interested in them as an individual.
What are the best words to ask a girl out?
Use straightforward and assertive words like, “I want to take you out. How about dinner on Friday?” The best words to ask a girl out are those that are clear, respectful, and show genuine interest. It’s about striking a balance between being too casual and too formal. You don’t need elaborate lines; simplicity often works best. It’s also a good idea to suggest a specific activity, date, and time. Women don’t want to make decisions about where a guy takes them. That’s your job as the man. Remember, confidence is key, but so is being genuine and respectful.