It’s Sunday morning and you’ve struck out — again. You’re doing that thing you always do; Beating yourself up, going over all the minutia of what you did wrong. Well, this Sunday is going to be different. Rather than agonizing over what you did wrong, we’re going to talk about what you can do right and why it will radically change your social life.
Open Yourself to New Ideas
If you want to change your success with women, you first need to open yourself to new ideas. Admitting that you have challenges can be difficult, even painful. It’s also the only way that we’re able to grow as human beings. Opening your mind up to the possibility of trying things a different way is the biggest step you can make toward personal growth. Even reading this article shows that you’re willing to try something new. Congrats!
How to Start Talking to Women
A lot of guys wondering “why don’t girls like me?” have something in common: They start talking to a woman by asking her personal questions. It isn’t immediately obvious, but even seemingly innocuous questions like “Where are from?” and “What do you do for work?” can strain social interactions. This is because socializing is always a bit stressful. When you ask people for personal information about themselves, you’re making it even more stressful.
Rather than this, we encourage men to start with light, playful, content-free conversation. This allows you to start socializing in a way that’s relaxing for both of you, taking the pressure away and making it more of a game or a routine than anything else. Examples of ways you can start a conversation include:
- “You girls look like trouble. Which one of you is the biggest troublemaker?”
- “You have to be from out of town. How long are you in town for?”
- “Did you save this seat for me?”
Do this with a big smile. Remember, they call it “the game” because games are supposed to be fun. Be playful and self-amused, like a 10-year-old boy or a puppy. Soon both of you will be laughing and relaxing into socializing with one another.
How to Show Interest
Once you’ve been talking in this playful way for a bit, it’s time for you to express interest in her. You don’t want to talk about what you like about her appearance, be it her body or her clothes or anything like that. She knows you’re attracted to her. She wants to know that you like her for something other than her appearance. Instead, say something more basic like “I dig you” or “You seem pretty cool.”
Then you want to ask her about herself. Two ways you can do this are “Tell me three things about you I wouldn’t guess” or “What’s your deal?” This allows her to give you the information she’s comfortable revealing while also showing that you’re interested in who she is as a person.
How to Make a Connection
Now you guys are talking about more serious, personal information. That’s great! Your job now is to show her that you’re paying attention to her and interested in what she’s saying. How do you do this?
First, you want to ask questions that are open ended. For example, don’t ask what she does for a living. Instead, ask her to tell you what she likes about her job. Don’t ask her where she lives, ask her to tell you about some of her favorite things about where she lives. Listen actively and respond in a way that ties what you’re going to say with what she just said. She’ll know that you’re paying attention and she’ll love it.
A quick word about body language: It’s generally best to stand next to someone when you talk rather than face-to-face. There’s a lot less pressure this way. You can pivot more toward her the more intimate the conversation gets. Don’t be afraid to introduce a little touch, either; Touch her on the shoulder, touch her on the back, touch her on the hand. These are totally safe places for you to touch her that will increase the emotional bond that you two are forging.
How to Get Her Number
Before I tell you how to go about getting the number, I want to stress something: Quality interactions make for quality numbers. It’s good to ask a lot of girls for numbers when you’re getting your feet wet. Once you’ve got a few under your belt, only ask for numbers from women that you have a genuine connection with.
Now let’s break down how you get the number:
- Wait for a high point in the interaction. This is when you have the greatest chance of getting her number.
- Have your number ready for her to input her phone number.
- Hand her your phone and tell her to give you her number so that you two can get together some time. Don’t even make it a question.
- While she’s entering it, mention a couple things you might like to do together.
- When you get your phone back, text her right away just so she has your number and your name.
- When you call or text her, make a reference to a high point in the interaction. This will remind her that you two were having a great time together.
Stop wondering why girls don’t like you. Getting women to chase you isn’t magic. It’s a simple process that any man can learn and use.
