“Why Girls Don’t Like Me”: The Top 5 Reasons

Why girls don't like meUnderstanding “why girls don’t like me” can be difficult.  Not because the reasons are complicated – but because the truth can hurt.  In order to become the guy more women are attracted to you may have to change.  I don’t mean change into someone you’re not, just change into a better version of yourself.

That being said, here are the top five explanations for “why girls don’t like me”.  If you identify with any of these, that’s good.  That means you’re one step closer to making that change.

1.  Negative attitude

Are you the kind of guy who:

  • Plays the “victim” card and whines about how life is so unfair?  Do you think everyone in the world has it easy except you? Actually asks people
    why girls don’t like me?”
  • Is always complaining; talking about how lame everyone and everything is?
  • Constantly focuses on things he lacks (money, looks, a six-pack)?

Do guys who think this way seem like they’d be fun to hang out with?

If you’ve got a negative attitude girls will feel that negativity when they’re around you.  Girls don’t want to hang out with someone that puts them in a shitty mood.  She’d rather find someone who can boost her spirits.

2.  Lifestyle

Is your life interesting?  Are you out there living and making the best out of your situation?  Do you look for new experiences, to grow as a person, and do your best to live an awesome, kick-ass life?

The women you meet are always going to be wondering “what does this guy have to offer?”  If you have a great life (and you DO NOT need to be rich to live a great life) she’s going to want to be a part of it.  If you spend your days playing xbox in your underwear and drinking til you pass out… women won’t be too eager to join in.

Ask yourself this: If a woman saw how you spend an average week, would she want to be a part of your life?  If the answer is no, what could you do to make your life better and therefore become more attractive?

3.  Your intent

When you interact with an attractive woman, what’s your goal?

If it’s “I want her to like me” then you’re in trouble.  This makes a guy either come across as fake or needy.  Either way the woman won’t be attracted to him.

On the other side is the “I just wanna get laid” guys.  They basically see girls as a sex object rather than, you know, an actual human being.  Most women don’t like the idea of just having sex then being discarded, so they keep away from this kind of guy.

4.  Your confidence

Confidence is essential, but too much of it (ie: arrogance) is a turn-off.  Girls want to feel noticed and appreciated.  If you’re too focused on how great you are to take the time to see how great she is, she won’t be sticking around too long.

Too much confidence will fuck things up for you in the long run.  But if you lack confidence, you won’t get the chance to fuck things up in the long run.  Confidence is the #1 thing all women look for and if you don’t have it, it’s hard to get anywhere.

5.  Appearance

When a guy checks out a girl he’s looking at her physical beauty.  He’s looking for a pretty face, a hot body… and that’s about it.

But when a girl checks a guy out there’s a lot more going on.  Sure she’ll notice his face and body, but what matters even more than physical features is how he presents himself.  Is he well groomed?  Does he look like he’s got his shit together?  Does he care about the way he presents himself to the world?

We all make snap judgments about people based on how they look.  I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, it’s just a fact of life.  I do it.  You do it.  Pretty girls do it.  You can either complain about it (strengthening reason #1 of” why girls don’t like me”) or you can get some decent jeans, nice shoes, keep clean, and improve your odds at attracting women.

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Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

13 Comments on ““Why Girls Don’t Like Me”: The Top 5 Reasons”

  1. I am pretty sure the number one reason most girl reject me is based on looks, or lack thereof. It can be sad world out there, just try to make the best of it.

  2. But when a girl checks a guy out there’s a lot more going on. Sure she’ll notice his face and body, but what matters even more than physical features is how he presents himself. Is he well groomed? Does he look like he’s got his shit together? Does he care about the way he presents himself to the world?

    ..yeah pretty much bottom line is they don’t really value you for you they are just constantly sizing you up to see if you fit in to their “image” really sad they are such hypocrites. All the complaining they do about how guys are pigs and don’t care about anything but looks and sex and they are ten times more guilty

  3. Unfortunately i tend to agree with the content of this page. I have decided to never date because its so difficult, its just a waste of time. Why would somebody worry so much about his image while he can spend his spare time doing things he likes?

  4. so i was looking at other signs / websites and apparently my crush used to like me ( still kinda does i think) but now likes he ex/my freind

  5. I know very well that no woman could ever see me in a romantic or sexual light, so I never express my feelings or approach any woman I’m interested in because it would be self-deluding to think I could ever get anywhere. I have lots of women friends who tell me I’m very sexy in my own way and that I should try with women I’d like to be with. They say I’d be very pleasantly surprised at their reaction and that I’d have a girlfriend in no time. I don’t see the point in trying at all – I don’t see signs that the women I’m interested in are interested in me, so as far as I’m concerned my telling them I’m interested would probably offend them and potentially get me labelled as a creep or worse.

  6. People girls are looking for a nice will groomed man. They aren’t looking at you muscles they just want some kind of nice guy. They don’t want a person how uses naughty words. And if a girl says you are sexy then their is your sign they like you. They don’t want a stick looking thing and a person that just looked like they came out of the garbage can.

  7. Lmfao. This content is priceless. I learned so many things here. My reason why. Is because I just give off not the energy girls are looking for. As I’m a fighter. And been brang down most of my life. Will never let myself be used by a friend or a girlfriend ever again in my life. As far as I’m concerned. Most people want something from you that benefits them it don’t matter if it’s fame. The money. Whatever the reason . Noone can convince me otherwise if this. I always end up attracting the negative. And never reaching out for the positive. Which is now what I am going to do. No more taking what comes at me

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