In the last post we went over what your body language says to a girl and touched on some broad generalizations about how to present yourself. How smiling, eye contact, and good posture will help you come across as confident and attractive. This post will cover how to convey those same qualities in your walk, your stance, and your hand/arm placement.
People are always scanning the environment (often done subconsciously) and making assessments what’s around. When you walk around a bar women are noticing you and making judgments – that guy looks cool/interesting/fun/like a douche/etc. Of course there’s a chance they may not notice you, but that doesn’t help your case. You want to get noticed and you want to get noticed in a positive way.
A good way to do this while you’re walking is to make sure you walk with purpose. Women don’t want a guy who scuttles about like a lost puppy. They want someone who has purpose and direction, and your walk can reflect that. You can emphasize this by lengthening your stride when you walk (just an extra few inches should do it) and keeping a smooth gait.
When you’re standing keep your feet should width apart so you have a strong, solid foundation. It’s important to show you’re comfortable taking up space, and you also don’t want to stumble about whenever someone brushes up against you. If it feels more comfortable to point one your toes out and lean on the opposite leg, go for it. These stances say to a girl you’re comfortable, relaxed, and able to hold your ground.
Now that you’ve got the walk and stance down, what do you do with your hands? First of all, for the love of God, don’t stuff them in your pockets. Hiding your hands shows you’ve got something to hide and will make people trust you less and feel less comfortable around you. Thanks to evolution we’re programmed to be a bit more suspicious of people when we can’t see their hands (the people who weren’t suspicious were more likely to get stabbed…their genes did not survive). It also shows insecurity, as stuffing hands in pockets is another way for a guy to shrink away from the environment.
Instead you can just keep your hands by your sides. It doesn’t look as weird as it feels. Or loop your thumbs in your front or back pockets, keeping the rest of your fingers visible. Sure dangling your hands off your back pockets hides them, but it’s doing so in a way that exposes your chest. When you keep your chest open and exposed like that it signals confidence. Again this goes back to our evolution, as allowing your chest to be unprotected show’s you’re not afraid of being attacked.
Speaking of chest, you do not want to cross your arms over your chest. Seriously, like, ever. It’s a defensive position that shows you’re closed off from what’s around you. Who crosses their arms? Pissed off, sulking children. Angry people in the middle of a disagreement cross their arms. Those are not the vibes you want to give off. Crossing your arms is setting up a barrier between you and your environment. It says to a girl you’re disagreeable and not interested in what’s happening around you. That’s why we keep our arms by our sides or let our thumbs rest in the pocket. If you have a drink, hold it by your side.
Practice this and your body language will say all the right things to a girl before you even open your mouth. Once the conversation gets rolling you can continue to use body language to build attraction, keep her wanting more, and get her sexually turned on.