What She Should See When She Looks at You

What kind of body language do you need to attract women?  That’s a common question guys have and an important one to answer.  After all with the right body language you can get a girl interested and attracted to you before you even say a word.  To learn a bit about how that’s done, check out the tips below on how to attract women with body language.

Relax your body

When a woman looks in your direction you want her to see a confident, powerful man.  And an easy way to show that strong confidence is to simply be relaxed.  When you’re relaxed and comfortable you automatically project confidence to those around you.

To keep yourself relaxed so you can easily project the confident body language that attracts women, make a point to take slow, relaxed breathes deep into your belly.  You should be able to feel your stomach rise and fall as you do this.  That’s how you know you’re breathing deep into your stomach and not taking shallow, tense breathes into your chest.  As your breathing this way see if you notice any tension in your muscles.  If any muscles feel tight give them a chance to relax.  With that tension gone you’ll be able to both look and feel more confident.  This core confidence will naturally shine through in your body language and attract women automatically.  (For additional tips on building confidence click here)

Take up space

Another way to show that confident body language that attracts women is to take up space.  If you’re the kind of guy who shrinks into the background and tries not to stand out or “rock the boat” in any way (like I was before my AoC bootcamp) then women won’t even notice you’re there.  But if you make yourself big, take up space, and own the area immediately around you, you’ll be far more likely to get noticed and stand out as a powerful, confident man.

A good trick for owning your space is to view everything within 3 feet of you as being in your own personal “party bubble”.  You’re in charge of that bubble and it’s your duty to make sure anyone who passes though has a good time.  Focus on owning the space around you and you’ll immediately stand out to women who look in your direction.

Be a leader of men

Along with confidence another trait women want to see in men is leadership.  They want a guy who others respect and listen to; a man who is able to take charge.  And in some instances you can show women you’re this kind of man from all the way across the room.

For example, a simple way to demonstrate your leadership qualities to a girl across the way is to simply touch your friends or whoever you’re talking to.  Pat these guys on the back, put a hand on their shoulder for a moment, playfully punch their arm – whatever.   According to research sited in the book Why Women Have Sex, women view men who touch those around them as having leadership qualities.  They’re more likely to see these guys as being in a position of power, influence and respect.  So just by making contact with those around you you’re going to show that leadership and body language that attracts women.

Be Positive

Expanding on the “party bubble” concept mentioned earlier, a key part in attracting women with body language is keeping a positive attitude.  If your attitude is positive, it will be reflected in your body language naturally.  You’ll appear more relaxed, friendly, and approachable to the women around you.

A good way to maintain a positive attitude is to have a go-to song you can sing to yourself.  Preferably a song that always puts you in a good mood and boosts your energy level.  Or, take a few moments and focus on the things you appreciate in yourself or in your environment.  This positive attitude will put an extra bounce in your step and women will be much more likely to notice you.  It’ll have them wondering why you’re so upbeat, and they’ll feel more inclined to meet you so they can feed off of that positive energy.

Be engaged

An often overlooked way to attract women with body language is to simply be engaged in your environment.  Guys often stumble here, as they’ll think they need to “look cool” or “busy” in order to impress a girl.  So they’ll take out a phone and pretend as though they’ve got something important to do.  But the only thing that behavior does is show the girl he’s not interested in what’s going on around him – and that perhaps he’d rather be somewhere else.

Instead of distracting yourself put the phone away and engage in your environment.  Stay alert and aware of what’s going on around you.  Keep your head up, smile, and enjoy the moment for what it is.  This will make you more approachable to the women that see you.  Plus, it gives you a chance to spot approach invitations you otherwise may have missed while toying with your phone.

Confident eye contact

Finally, when a women is looking at you what you want her to see is you looking right back at her.  Don’t dart your eyes away but hold that eye contact and give the girl a warm smile.  Let her see she’s caught you’re attention, and that you’re the kind of confident, friendly guy she’s looking to meet.  If she returns your gaze with strong eye contact and a smile of her own, then it’s time to walk up to her and say hi.

The next step in attraction

To go beyond the body language that attracts women and learn what to do once you’ve spotted a girl you’re interested in, check out this article on how to approach a girl you’ve never met.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

One Comment on “What She Should See When She Looks at You”

  1. Pingback: How to Attract Women with Body Language - 7 Tips for When You Meet Miss Right

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