There is NO Secret to Attracting Women

Do you want to know the secret to attracting women?  Are you looking for that “Magic Bullet” guaranteed to make any woman fall in love with you right there on the spot?  Well, there is no secret to attracting women.  That “Magic Bullets” don’t exist.  But even if it did you wouldn’t need it.  Because you already have everything you need to attract incredible women.  Don’t believe me?  Read on to learn more.

Why you’re more attractive than you think

If you’re like most guys you really don’t need to learn how to attract women.  What’s far more important than learning “the secret to attracting women” is unlearning all the bullshit that is preventing you from attracting women in the first place.  Let me explain:  At an early age – based off just a couple experiences (or perhaps just based off stuff seen on TV) – a guy may learn that “attractive women don’t want me”.  He’ll then repeats this belief to himself until it becomes ingrained in who he is.

Messages from society reinforce this belief and he starts to think he’s not “rich enough”, “handsome enough”, or “cool enough” to attract women.  But in reality the only thing preventing him from attracting women is his own belief that he’s not good enough.  If that belief wasn’t there then being confident and authentic with women (and therefore appearing more attractive) would be no problem.

So the most important thing any guy who struggles with women can do is change the beliefs he has about himself.  How do you do this?  You can start by asking yourself each day “Why are beautiful women so attracted to me?”  You don’t need to answer this question, simply ask it and let your subconscious mind to seek out the answer.  This will help destroy that old, outdated belief that women aren’t attracted to you.  At the same time it’ll strengthen the belief that they are.

The problem with “Magic Bullets”

Even though there is no secret to attracting women plenty of “Pickup Gurus” will say otherwise.  They claim to have the “Magic Bullet” for attracting women and say that if you can just hit certain “evolutionary attraction triggers” then women will have no choice but to be hopelessly attracted to you.  And while that kind of stuff works occasionally, any attraction that is created through these methods doesn’t last.  And learning them often does more harm than good.

So long as a guy is learning “routines” to attract women he’s continuing the story of “I’m not good enough as I am to attract women”.  Even when guys have some success they soon feel empty because it’s not them that’s attracting women – it’s their “routine”.

But you don’t need to say or do specific things to get a girl to like you – you’re already an awesome, likeable guy.  So rather than actively trying to charm a girl or win her over, focus instead on simply having fun when interacting with women.  Enjoy yourself and let your own joy and excitement radiate to her.  By focusing on having fun you’re going to come across as charming and attractive naturally.  (For more on what this looks like, click here)

Own your sexuality

Along with learning they’re “not good enough” some men have also learned that they need to hide their sexuality around women.  They’re so terrified of being seen as a “creep” or “pig” who “only wants sex” that they bury any attraction they have towards a woman.  This leads a guy on a one-way trip to the friend-zone.

Rather than learning secrets to attract women, guys like this just need to let women see them as a sexual being.  Remember, women aren’t the delicate porcelain figurines we sometimes think.  They are sexual creatures with their own needs and desires.  So don’t be afraid to awaken this sexual side of them (and that side of you as well).

How can you do this?  There are plenty of ways:  Use sexual innuendo in your conversations with women.  Playfully misinterpret her words and behaviors and pretend as though the girl is trying to take advantage of you sexually.  Don’t tell a girl she looks “nice” in those jeans – tell her she looks “sexy”.  Little things like that can build the sexual tension between the two of you and get her to see you in a more sexual light.

Becoming a high-value man

Another reason why there really is no secret to attracting women is that we already know the qualities women find attractive in men.  And you have all these qualities already – they may just need a little polishing.

For example we all know women want confident, high-value men.  And showing a girl you have these qualities can be as simple as adopting the right mindset.  Rather than approaching a girl in order to get something from her (like a phone number) look instead to give her something.  See if you can make her smile or brighten her day.  Give her a compliment without expecting, wanting, or needing anything in return.  Adopting this mindset of giving (while needing nothing in return) is what separates confident, high-value men from everyone else.

Be a leader

A second quality women find attractive that’s easily demonstrated is leadership.  Women want a guy who can take the reins and lead the way.  When a man assumes that responsibility it gives the girl a chance to sit back, relax, and enjoy herself.

A great time to show leadership is when you want to take things to the next level.  Rather than hoping she’ll make the first move (or signal that it’s time for you to do so), have the courage to come out and express your desire first.  Let her know you like her, want to kiss her, date her – whatever it is.  There’s no secret to attracting women here, just be bold and say what’s on your mind (for example: “I so want to kiss you right now”).  By unapologetically going after what you want you demonstrate the leadership women respect and are naturally attracted to.

Start getting more dates today

While there’s no secret to attracting women there are plenty of tips and strategies to becoming more confident, authentic, and attractive.  To learn more head to https://theartofcharm.com/.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

Email


in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

4 Comments on “There is NO Secret to Attracting Women”

  1. Pingback: Real-World Products For Ukraine-Woman.com – The Best Routes – Ved International Education Consultancy Pvt.Ltd

  2. If I am “more attractive than I think” and “already have everything [I] need to attract incredible women”, then why is it that no woman has ever – and I mean ever – been attracted to me? I’m a happy person who has several passions which I openly share with people I meet. I take care of myself physically and mentally and have a great job I love. But when it comes to women, nothing. Ever. Life has demonstrated to me that I am simply unable to attract any woman at a sexual level.

    1. Physical attraction is only a small% of the equation. The rest is personality, charm, confidence, values, trust, humor, etc. You have to make her feel for you. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and strike up a conversation and make them feel comfortable. If your energy is awkward, they will pick up on that.

      The difference between a man and woman.
      Example a tasty looking cheeseburger but tastes like shit vs a disgusting looking cheeseburger that tastes great. Women go for taste.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.