Reading Her Signs of Interest: Eye Contact

eye contact

It’s always easier to approach a woman who wants to be approached.  The problem is most guys don’t know how to read the signs of interest women give off.  They don’t notice the women that are interested in being approached and wind up missing out on golden opportunities to meet amazing women.  However, once a guy learns to pick up and act on these signals he’ll find openings to meet women anywhere he goes.

From a guy’s point of view women can appear very subtle when it comes to showing signs of interest.   The reason is women are more sensitive to body language cues.  What seems subtle to us guys is really painfully obvious to most girls.  Something as simple as a little eye contact may make her feel like she’s screaming “Come talk to me!” but a lot of guys will dismiss it.  Some guys simply don’t realize eye contact means anything.  Others may think it’s a possible sign, but are unsure, so they wait for another one to confirm she’s interested.

To brush off these moments of eye contact or chalk them up to “maybe she’s interested, I’ll wait for another sign” is a big mistake.   She already feels like she’s given you the green light.  If you don’t do anything about it she’ll think it’s because you’re not interested.  If you waste the first invitation, you may not get another one.

Of course, not every glance is a sign of interest.  You want to be able to distinguish casual glances from invitations to talk. Here are two things you can look for to do just that:

The first is the double take.  If you make eye contact with a girl, and then she looks away for a few seconds before locking eyes with you again, she’s open to an approach.

Another thing to look for is prolonged eye contact.  It’s normal for people to glance at one another and make eye contact with strangers for about a second before looking away and moving on.  If you find yourself holding a gaze with a woman and it feels longer than the usual eye contact made with strangers, she’s interested.  It doesn’t have to be long, just three seconds or so is plenty.

We pass by people every day without really noticing them or thinking twice about them.  Whether a girl is holding your gaze or doing a double take, it shows that at that moment she’s actually noticing you.  Of everything that was going on in her head and everything else going on around her she was struck by you and you have momentarily shifted her focus.  I’m not saying she’ll want to sleep with you right away, but she’s given you the go-ahead to walk up and say hi.

When you start to look at eye contact as an invitation you’ll notice there are more opportunities to meet women than you may have thought.  Women use eye contact as a sign of interest everywhere.  Suddenly just walking down the street or shopping for groceries can turn into fantastic opportunities to meet women.  Look for these chances and you’ll find them.

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.


in Art of Dating, Flirting And Attraction

2 Comments on “Reading Her Signs of Interest: Eye Contact”

  1. I can honestly say that I have never in my life gotten even one sign of interest from any woman – I’m 36. I take this fact as a sign that I am of no interest to women whatsoever and as such don’t bother approaching anyone because rejection would always be guaranteed.

  2. It always seem’s the onus keeps falling back to the male as it usually does , if women want to attract then it is not our fault if they do not make their intentions clear. If rolls where reverse’ it would be a different story for men, general comets by women , I feel uncomfortable , he keeps looking at me , and so on …many times women either over react or you may find a women that is okay but, it is getting more difficult. I am generalising, I think a lot of men just keep clear as it too easy for them to be accused for what ever, burnt once or twice , so, what is the point in the end and women wonder why.

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