How to Pick Up a Girl at a Party

Outside of a bar or a club, one of the most socially acceptable places to talk to and pick up girls is at a party. There’s not much different here than there are in other social situations. Still, there are some minor differences that you should be aware of. Whether you’re a practiced master at talking to girls at clubs and bars and just need a little tweaking for a party or you’re getting your feet wet in the world of dating, this article is a must read to learn how to pick up a girl at a party.

Approach With Confidence

This is the main piece of advice that applies to not only how to pick up a girl at a party, but just about any social situation; You want to approach her with confidence. Walk up as soon as you notice her, big smile and head held high. Whether you’re confident or not, there are a series of behaviors that confident men display. If you can mimic these, it won’t much matter if you’re actually confident on the inside or not — it will show on the outside.

Get Her to Smile

The first goal that you should have is to get her to smile. It’s a simple thing that improves her night and establishes you as the man who did that. That’s why we tell men to start conversations with light banter, playful conversation that gets her interested and engaged and begins the process of attraction. This is preferable to “getting to know you” conversation right off the bat because it’s much less demanding and much more relaxed.

Show Her That You’re Interested

Showing interest isn’t something that’s going to kill your game. On the contrary, it’s a must. You just have to do it the right way. The best way to express interest in a girl that you’re talking to at a party is to simple say “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you” after you’ve bantered and flirted with her a little bit. From there, you can pivot to more “getting to know you” type of conversation. You don’t want to tell her how hot she is — she already knows you’re attracted to her. Any small, true compliment works. Keep it as simple as possible.

Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

We don’t mean abruptly and rudely walk away; What we mean is, this is a party! Don’t feel like you have to be joined at the hip to one woman all night to get her number or even leave the party with her. Instead, talk to her for a bit, work the room some and then head back over to her. It shows that you’re not needy and it also gives you the opportunity to meet more than just one woman while you’re at the party.

Suggest a Private Party

Of course, when things are going really well, one way to close is to suggest that the two of you have a more private party. This might be bouncing to a nearby bar or it might mean heading back to your place. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to gently suggest that the two of you take things somewhere else.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1048 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

Email · Google+ · Facebook


in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.