5 Worst Ideas for a First Date

There are some pretty terrible first date ideas floating around, and following them can make it very difficult for a guy to land a second date.  To help you avoid making any of these mistakes here are 5 of the worst ideas for a first date – and what you should do instead.

1. Fancy dinner

One of the worst ideas for a first date is also the most common one.  It’s the idea that you’ve got to impress a girl by taking her out to a fancy restaurant.  This is often a bad idea for a few reasons: First, the fancy dinner is played out.  She’s already been on that date dozens, maybe even hundreds of times.  So you’re starting things off being no different from every other guy she’s dated.  Second, there’s not much going on at a fancy restaurant.  This can add unneeded pressure and difficulty to maintain a stimulating conversation.  Third, spending a lot of money on a girl you barley know doesn’t make much sense since you’re not yet sure you’ll be a good fit.  Finally, if you don’t spend much time at expensive restaurants then you may feel out-of-place.  You may find it hard to relax and be your authentic self in that environment.

Instead of going out for an expensive dinner pick a first date that’s a bit different.  Something fun that doesn’t make you both feel pressured to fill every moment with conversation.  An activity date, where you take the girl out to do something fun (go for a hike, wine tasting, ice skating, inviting her over and cooking dinner together) will give her an enjoyable experience in a more relaxed atmosphere.  It’ll be something a bit different for her, and give you a better chance to connect on a more personal level.

2. A movie

Another one of the worst first date idea is yet another classic – the movie date.  The problem with the movie date (in addition to being yet another first date she’s already been on a million times) is that it gives you no chance to talk or connect.  You’re left feeling no closer to one another than you were at the beginning of the date, which means she’ll be less likely to say yes to a second date.  Plus, the outcome of the date is almost entirely dependent on the movie.  If the movie is boring then the date is going to be boring, too.

So rather than going along with one of the worst first date ideas and taking the girl to a movie, take her someplace where you can actually interact.  Check out some local live music, or perhaps an improve comedy show.  These events will give you that chance to connect and get to know one another while keeping you both entertained.

3. Long events

Taking a girl on a date that lasts for hours and hours is often one of the worst ideas for a first date.  Unless you already know the girl and already have a foundation for a relationship, you should avoid planning dates that take more than an hour or two.  Why?  Because you may find out within 30 minutes that the two of you aren’t right for each other.  If that’s the case you won’t want to be stuck together waiting for the date to end.  Additionally, you don’t want a date that’s going well to be dragged out to the point where she gets bored and wants to be somewhere else.

So when planning your first date be sure to keep it short.  An hour or two is plenty of time to get to know one another better.  If things are going really well have an idea in mind for how you can continue the date.  Bring this option up towards the end of the date and see if she’s interested.  Otherwise simply leave on a high note and make plans to see each other again soon.

4. Trying to impress her

Some of the worst first date idea have nothing to do with the activities you do on the date, but with the mindset guys have going into the date.  For example, guys often have the belief that they need to try and impress a girl when out on the date.  But what guys should really be concerned with is figuring out whether or not the girl is right for them.

You wouldn’t want to waste time trying to win a girl over only to learn she’s not your type once you take the time to get to know her.  So on your dates you may want to adopt more of a “screening” mindset.  Keep an eye out for “red flags” and make sure you don’t get mixed up with a girl that’s no good for you.  The cool thing is, simply by adopting this mindset and not worrying about impressing her you’ll find it’s far easier to relax, feel confident, and form that genuine connection.

5. Pay for her

Perhaps the worst first date idea is the idea that the guy shouldn’t be paying for the date.  When you invite the girl out it’s up to you to take care of her.  It’s not about the money you spend; it’s about showing you’re invested and willing to look out for her.  If you don’t pay, she may think that it’s not really a date and that you’re not that interested.  After all, friends split tabs.  If you treat her no different than you would a friend then that may be as far as the relationship goes.

More dating tips

Avoiding the 5 worst ideas for a first date will put you miles ahead of some of the other guys out there right off the bat.  To put even more distance between you and those other guys, check out some additional dating tips here.

 

Brian M - author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use.

Email


in Art of Dating, Dating Tips

One Comment on “5 Worst Ideas for a First Date”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.