In this Art of Charm podcast episode, Christoph Schnedlitz, a data scientist and founder of the hiMoment happiness app, explains that happiness works like a muscle you train with consistent practice. He describes a five minute daily habit of answering what the best thing that happened today was, and why big achievements do not make us lastingly happier.
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Key Takeaways
- Happiness is described as a muscle that needs consistent practice, so occasional big events such as a wedding or a promotion do not make a person lastingly happier.
- A simple daily habit is to spend about five minutes answering one question: what is the best thing that happened to you today? Over time the mind learns to notice small good things.
- Christoph Schnedlitz discussed a study by Sonja Lyubomirsky and a colleague finding that happy and unhappy people have the same amount of good and bad events, and that the difference is how they perceive them.
- Chasing success for its own sake, such as promotions, bank account numbers, medals or step counts, tends to leave people asking 'now what?', while enjoying the process of becoming a better version of yourself is what lasts.
- After a breakup, the episode suggests allowing the pain to be felt, using the time to exercise and explore neglected interests, and avoiding a rush into the next relationship.
- Your environment matters: the people around you influence your happiness, and a warm body in your life is not enough if the relationship is toxic or holds you back.
- Social media is discussed as a comparison machine that sets your single day against a year of other people's highlights, so deleting apps and being honest about your real days can protect your mood.
- Picking one lofty goal, finding the first cue, chaining small habits together and avoiding multitasking were discussed as practical ways to build habits without draining willpower.
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Who is Christoph Schnedlitz?
Christoph Schnedlitz is the founder of hiMoment, a happiness app available on Android and iOS. In this episode he describes himself as both a data scientist and a happiness scientist. He shares that at age 27 he had reached the career goals he had set, including an expert position at a good company and a comfortable lifestyle, yet felt deeply unhappy. That realization started his path toward studying and practicing happiness. He later left a well paid job that made him unhappy and became an entrepreneur, which he calls the most difficult thing he has done. He says his company reached around a million dollars in seed funding and is helping 40,000 people become happier. His core message in this conversation is that happiness is a skill you can train through small daily habits and mindset, not a destination reached through achievements.
Episode Chapters
- 00:32 Happiness as a trainable muscle
- 01:02 The daily savoring question
- 03:35 Why big life events fade
- 05:37 Success does not equal happiness
- 07:01 Coping with a breakup
- 14:24 Happy versus unhappy people
- 22:07 His burnout and turning point
- 27:48 Environment, friends and leadership
- 40:14 Social media and comparison
- 57:24 Habit chaining and single focus
Can you really train your happiness like a muscle?
Around 00:32 in the episode
According to Christoph Schnedlitz, yes. He explains that happiness is not a destination but a muscle that responds to consistent practice, much like physical training.
The episode opens with the core idea behind Christoph Schnedlitz's work: happiness can be exercised. If you want to train your body, you need consistent practice, and he argues the same applies to your emotional life. You will not become happier simply because you had a wedding, and you will not become happier because of a career breakthrough. Happiness takes work, and that work is possible.
He says about 40 percent of our happiness comes down to our habits and our mindset, and that this portion can be trained effectively. That framing matters because it shifts happiness away from luck or circumstance and toward something a person can influence.
The conversation also notes how much of our culture pushes the opposite message. Advertising, entertainment and technology all suggest happiness is a destination or something you can buy. The muscle analogy offers a counterweight: a regular, modest practice beats a rare, dramatic event.
A related point raised in the discussion is that feeling unhappy today does not mean tomorrow has to bring more unhappiness. If you can train your attention to rest on the right things, like shining a flashlight on the bright spots of the day, you begin to reorient yourself away from the things holding you back. Even when the world feels like it is ending, a simple habit built around happiness can lift your mood.
it's a muscle that you can train just like your body
What is the daily journaling question that can improve happiness?
Around 01:02 in the episode
The practice discussed is a savoring or gratitude journal where you spend about five minutes answering one question: what is the best thing that happened to you today?
Christoph Schnedlitz says there are many paths to happiness, and the one his app uses is savoring, also called a gratitude journal. It is meant to be very simple. It takes around five minutes a day and involves answering a single question: what is the best thing that happened to you today?
He acknowledges that some people struggle to get into the habit, but explains what it does to the brain over time. When you frequently ask yourself that question, your mind starts to focus on the small good things in your life. At first you may notice only one good thing. Eventually you notice five or ten, and that is when you realize it is working.
As far as the studies he mentions show, this kind of practice can improve happiness by up to 25 percent in just a month. He adds that he has seen this with the users of his app, and that his team put a twist on the basic method, which he says he will share later in the conversation.
The discussion points out that journaling and appreciation are well understood but hard to stick with, which is why training is the right word. Stepping back to look at your life from a more objective view makes you happier, and that perspective takes repetition. The episode later returns to this question as an example of a daily action that works better than setting a distant happiness goal.
Why don't big life events like weddings and promotions make us happier?
Around 03:35 in the episode
Using the muscle analogy, one big moment cannot train you. Weddings and promotions can be wonderful, but lasting happiness comes from consistent small practice, and these events are beginnings rather than endings.
The episode asks why the big moments we look forward to, such as graduations, weddings and promotions, have so little long term effect on happiness. Christoph Schnedlitz answers with the training metaphor. Watching a weightlifting event once does not make you an athlete, and lifting one heavy barbell once does not build muscle in the long term.
In the same way, a wedding or a promotion will be great, but it does not change the fact that you have to practice happiness consistently. He says it is better to have one small happy moment each day than one big moment once a year.
He also offers a different way to look at these events: they are not the end, they are the beginning. A marriage is a new chapter, and getting the promotion you wanted is a new story starting. Treating the event as a finish line misses that.
The discussion adds an example from sports, noting that research on Olympic medalists suggests bronze medalists can be happier than silver medalists. The bronze winner is glad to be on the podium, the silver winner is upset about missing gold, and the gold winner may wonder where to go next. Christoph Schnedlitz agreed that many gold medalists report a feeling of emptiness after achieving the goal.
Does success make you happier?
Around 05:37 in the episode
Christoph Schnedlitz says it works the other way around: happy people tend to become successful, but success does not automatically bring happiness. Enjoying the process of becoming your best self is what helps.
Described as a truth pill in the episode, the point is that chasing promotions, bigger bank balances, medals or awards for their own sake will not make you happier. You get there, and then you have to ask yourself what comes next.
Christoph Schnedlitz uses step counter apps as an example. They are useful because they get people moving, but once someone reaches 10,000 steps, the satisfaction is brief and the target becomes 11,000 or 12,000. In his view, quantifying things does not make us happier, and neither do big achievements.
What does help is enjoying the process of becoming the best version of yourself. If that includes a promotion, then that is great. The conversation frames this as the difference between external and internal. When we chase an external event to make us feel good, we do not actually feel it, so we need to focus on the internal. The happiness app is presented as an exercise for that internal work.
This theme comes back later when a listener asks about moving into management. The guest argues that wanting a leadership role purely for money, status or success is a poor reason, and that the work itself and the chance to help others should be the motive. He ties it to his own experience of holding a managerial role at 27 that did not make him happier.
success does not automatically make you happier
How do you cope with a breakup without getting stuck?
Around 07:01 in the episode
The episode suggests letting yourself feel the pain, exercising, exploring neglected interests and avoiding a rush into a new relationship, while accepting that healing takes time.
A listener named Chris wrote in after his girlfriend of five years ended the relationship, saying her feelings had changed. He respects her decision and wants her to be happy but does not know how to let go. Christoph Schnedlitz responded with sympathy, describing a breakup as a real pain that can be compared to a toothache. He said love resembles an addiction in the brain, involving neurotransmitters such as oxytocin and serotonin, so the brain needs time to adjust.
He noted that wanting the other person to be happy is a good sign, since obsessing, chasing or stalking is the worst thing to do. He also offered perspective: good relationships make us happier, but not all relationships are good for us, and a bad relationship can be much worse than being alone. If you are happy with yourself, being alone is okay. He added that with every relationship that was not a complete disaster, the heart grows rather than breaks.
The hosts added practical advice. Allow yourself to process the negative emotions instead of sweeping them aside, and give yourself space to heal. Look back honestly at what you loved and what you did not, and ask whether you played an active role or became distant. They referred listeners to an earlier month on emotional bids and validation, and mentioned research by Dr. John Gottman on partners turning away from emotional bids.
They also cautioned against numbing the pain with drinking or bingeing, recommended working out, and warned against rushing into the next relationship because we tend to swap one habit for another. Instead, use the reset to explore travel, a language, an instrument or a new sport. Healing can still include some pleasure along the way.
What is the real difference between happy and unhappy people?
Around 14:24 in the episode
A study by Sonja Lyubomirsky and a colleague, as discussed in the episode, found happy and unhappy people have the same amount of good and bad events. The difference is how they perceive them.
The hosts asked Christoph Schnedlitz about the study by Sonja Lyubomirsky and a colleague. He explained that intuition says happy people must have lots of happy things happening to them, such as wedding invitations and promotions, while unhappy people are simply unlucky.
The finding he described was that there was no difference in the amount of good and bad life events between the two groups. Both had the same amount of good and bad things happen. The difference was how each group viewed events and where they put their attention.
From this he concludes that focusing on good things is a way to kick-start your own happiness. Some people do this naturally, but he says he did not, and had to learn it. For people without that inborn tendency to look on the bright side, he says, that is why he built hiMoment.
The conversation connects this to perception more broadly. Life includes suffering, highs and lows, and our ability to bounce back and see a low as a growth opportunity or a lesson is more beneficial for mental health. One host described learning that happiness is a choice and then asking what can be done to maximize it, which led to self-development habits.
How did Christoph Schnedlitz come to build a happiness app?
Around 22:07 in the episode
At age 27 he had reached his goals yet felt miserable. After a frightening trip to the mountains he began a path toward happiness, later leaving his job to become an entrepreneur.
Christoph Schnedlitz shared a personal story. By 27 he had reached all the goals he had defined for himself, including an expert position at a very good company and a nice house and lifestyle. He says he was miserable at the time, and that reaching his goals gave him no satisfaction. Admitting that to himself started his move toward more happiness.
He went to the mountains with a tent for five days of water and no food, hoping to meditate and have an enlightenment moment. Instead a thunderstorm hit directly above him on the first day and came close to striking him. He says he realized that nothing positive appeared in the life flashback he expected, which convinced him to change something if he got down safely.
Describing the effects of the methods he developed, he said they took around ten to fifteen days to really work. He went from seeing problems and obstacles everywhere to appreciating small moments, and the shift gave him energy he had not felt in a long time. In his view, happiness brings a growth mindset almost automatically: you stop judging others, you are not jealous of their success, and you want to help them.
He also said it became easier to stay on course with fitness, because he focused on the pleasant parts of a run, like seeing a wild fox, rather than finishing a number. Later he left a well paid job that made him unhappy and started a company, which he called the most difficult thing he has done. He said happiness is a form of courage, which made the hard stretch easier to endure. He reported around a million dollars in seed funding and 40,000 people using the approach.
How do the people around you affect your happiness and career growth?
Around 27:48 in the episode
The episode argues that friends and coworkers strongly shape happiness, and that being alone is better than staying in toxic relationships. It also covers advice for a listener named Thor seeking a leadership role.
The hosts observed that happy people tend to attract happy people, and that people who are disappointed tend to clump together. If your social group catastrophizes and doubts your goals, those doubts creep in. Part of resetting your happiness is asking whether the influences in your life help your mental health or detract from it. Giving up friends can feel lonely, but it is better to be alone than in a relationship that is toxic or holding you back, whether romantic or platonic. A warm body is not enough for happiness.
A listener named Thor from Denmark, a father of three working in construction as a quality inspector, wanted to move into people management. His boss said there was no point and that he lacked what it takes. Christoph Schnedlitz first asked why Thor wants to lead. He said money is the wrong reason, citing the point where additional income stops adding to happiness, which he put at around sixty thousand US dollars a year. Status and success are also poor reasons. In his view, a leader's task is to help other people succeed.
The hosts suggested practicing leadership outside formal education, such as in a community group, run group or meetup, and then talking about it in interviews. They also advised using the experience of covering the boss's role during vacations, supporting teammates beyond your own tasks, and leading from the seat you are in. If the workplace keeps pushing negative views, a change may eventually be beneficial.
Christoph Schnedlitz added a trick of the mind: ask the boss for feedback and advice so you can one day become like them. Acknowledging someone's expertise can change their opinion of you, and they may then promote you and speak of you as their student.
How does social media affect happiness and comparison?
Around 40:14 in the episode
Christoph Schnedlitz argues that social media apps are designed to be addictive and force constant comparison, comparing your single day with a year of highlights from other people.
Asked what drives misinformation about happiness, he pointed to entertainment and news that highlight big events, and to a very material idea of happiness. He also said people never learned how to be happier. He described a crisis of happiness and said that in Europe he sees a rise in psychiatric diagnoses of teenagers of 400 percent within five years, which he linked to the time when kids got phones and permanent access to social media.
He said addiction is an intentional feature of these apps, with billions of people receiving a kind of digital drug that releases dopamine. He cited a statement attributed to Sean Parker, an early Facebook cofounder, that the company exploited a psychological weakness. His bigger worry is comparison: with 365 friends, you compare your one day against a year of moments from others, which always include weddings, holidays or promotions.
He added that people curate their lives, post smiling pictures when they feel otherwise, and thereby make others feel more insignificant. One host shared that they had removed apps from their phone to feel better, and the hosts noted that listeners increasingly ask to avoid Facebook. They also discussed an influencer who admitted to struggling privately while posting smiling photos.
On dating apps, he explained that the match algorithm resembles slot machines, giving early exposure then reducing it to keep users swiping. He said frequent users show higher anxiety, stress and depression, and warned against putting your self-worth in an app. He said happy people are more attractive, so becoming happier may help more than swiping.
How can you build habits without being overzealous?
Around 57:24 in the episode
Choose one lofty goal, find the first cue, and chain small habits together. The episode also says multitasking drains willpower and undermines both results and happiness.
A listener named Josie from Salt Lake asked how to rein in her enthusiasm when she sets too many habit goals at once. The hosts recommended settling on one big goal and breaking it into incremental steps. Using a half marathon as an example, you cannot run 13.1 miles right away, so you start with a first mile and then a second.
They suggested looking for the first domino. If running in the evening is hard because work is draining, running requires getting up early, which requires getting to bed early, which may begin with turning off devices at night. Once that routine is built, the morning shifts and the next habit becomes easier. They also mentioned cues, as discussed with Charles Duhigg, and described willpower as a battery that drains when you try to form many habits at once.
A speaker in the discussion observed that this habit approach is the opposite of traditional goal setting, where you live in a state of failure until you reach a distant goal. Instead of aiming to reach a point where you will be happy, you take five minutes each day to ask what the best thing that happened to you was.
The conversation closed with multitasking. One host said humans are poor multitaskers and that stopping it raised their happiness, because they finished more and felt better about the quality of their work. The guest then said the app can be found in the App Store on Android and iOS, and thanked the hosts for helping spread the message.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Christoph Schnedlitz?
Christoph Schnedlitz is the founder of the hiMoment happiness app and describes himself as a data scientist and a happiness scientist. In this episode he shares that after reaching his career goals at 27 he felt miserable, changed course, left his job and became an entrepreneur focused on helping people train their happiness.
What did Christoph Schnedlitz say about training happiness on The Art of Charm podcast?
He said happiness is a muscle that needs consistent practice, not a destination reached through events or achievements. He described a five minute daily habit of answering what the best thing that happened today was, and said that about 40 percent of happiness comes from habits and mindset.
Why don't big achievements make us lastingly happier?
In the episode, Christoph Schnedlitz compares them to lifting a heavy weight once: it does not build muscle. He also says success does not automatically make you happier, points to the emptiness many gold medalists report, and notes that step counts and bank balances always raise the next target.
What is the savoring or gratitude journal question?
The question is: what is the best thing that happened to you today? Christoph Schnedlitz says it takes around five minutes a day. Over days, the mind starts noticing small good things, first one and later five or ten. He cited studies suggesting up to a 25 percent happiness improvement in a month.
What is the difference between happy and unhappy people?
The episode discusses a study by Sonja Lyubomirsky and a colleague that found happy and unhappy people experience the same amount of good and bad events. The difference lies in how they perceive those events and where they direct their attention, which is why training perspective matters.
How does the episode suggest handling a breakup?
It suggests accepting that the pain is real, giving yourself time and space to process emotions, reflecting honestly on your part in the relationship, exercising, and exploring new interests. It also warns against obsessing over the person, numbing with drinking or bingeing, and rushing into another relationship.
How does social media affect happiness according to the episode?
Christoph Schnedlitz argues that social apps are designed to be addictive and force comparison. Having 365 friends means comparing your one day to a year of others' highlights. He also warned against placing self-worth in dating apps and discussed rising mental health problems among young people.
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