AoC Toolbox | Attraction (Episode 406)

On today's toolbox episode we talk about why attraction goes beyond the physical, what those four components of attraction are and how to maximize them.

Attraction is more than just sex.

“Attraction starts before we even open our mouths.-AJ Harbinger

The Cheat Sheet:

  • What’s The Art of Charm definition of attraction?
  • Why the first 60 seconds are critical to attracting a woman.
  • How to make people gravitate to you.
  • What is the one physical feature humans look at on everyone else?
  • And so much more…

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When you think of attraction do you immediately think of sexual attraction or physical attraction? You’re not alone if you do! But that’s just one component, there are three more pieces of the attraction puzzle.

On today’s toolbox episode we talk about why attraction goes beyond the physical, what those four components of attraction are and how to maximize them.

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More About This Show:

One of the topics we get asked about most at The AOC is attraction and how to become more attractive to women. On today’s show we’re specifically discussing the four channels of attraction: static, dynamic, self-presentation and circumstance. There are specific ways to maximize each area to maximize your attractiveness in any setting.

1. Static.
These are the things about you that you cannot change: your height, your eye color, sometimes even your build. You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow looking like Brad Pitt but you also don’t need to carry around those extra 30 pounds.

The key here is to maximize these areas by getting adequate sleep, eating right and exercising. When you take better care of yourself it will show.

2. Dynamic.
You’ve probably guessed it: dynamic is what you can change about yourself. This is your body language, your energy. If you’re feeling happy your body will show up. If you’re feeling confident your body will show it. And you can control your emotions and change them, your body will follow.

One thing we do at our boot camps is the power posture. This means standing in a victory pose for 90 seconds. Do it and watch how your mind shifts when you do. Make it part of your morning routine for maximum impact.

3. Self-presentation.
This is your style and your grooming. Your self-presentation is how you get to show the world a bit about you, who you are and who you want to connect with. If you’re a hipster let your fashion say so. If you’re a rocker show it.

And be sure your fashion is appropriate for your body type, get your clothes fitted if needed. A tailor can do wonders for your self-presentation and is worth the extra effort.

4. Circumstance.
This is your surroundings and your location, it’s both the place you choose to be and where you choose to be in that location. First and foremost be selective about where you go (check out Third Place Toolbox episode for details) and who you’re with.

A way to maximize your circumstance is to go out alone, and we give you the specifics on how to do so. One thing to note is when you’re out on your own stand at the angle of the bar. More people  will be waiting in line there and you can strike up a conversation with them.

Those are the four channels of attraction! In this episode we also discuss additional ways to maximize each of them, how to know if you have too much or not enough energy and why you want to be Kumar when you’re out at the bar (and leave your Harold side at home).

Check it out on this edition of The Art of Charm, and then come back for our next toolbox episode on what to say to further that attraction!

THANKS AOC!

If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending us a quick shout out on Twitter:

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Resources from this episode:

Third Place Toolbox episode
The Art of Charm on Twitter
Other AOC Toolbox episodes
The Art of Charm bootcamps

 

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You’ll also like:

-The Art of Charm Toolbox
-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast

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Jordan Harbinger - author of 829 posts on The Art of Charm

Jordan Harbinger has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East, and speaks several languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war zones, and been kidnapped -- twice. He’ll tell you the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of) just about any type of situation. Here at The Art of Charm, Jordan shares that experience, and the system borne as a result, with students and clients.

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