777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must Know + Why Fighting For The Biggest Slice Doesn’t Help

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The thought of negotiating can instill feelings of discomfort in many of us because we associate negotiating with trying to create a win for us and a loss for the person we are negotiating with, but how would that change if you had the knowledge and confidence to come up with a win-win for just about every negotiation you entered into?

What to Listen For

  • Where do the misconceptions surrounding negotiating come from and how can a few simple changes in perception improve your ability to negotiate?
  • What is Prospect Theory and how does it cause you to miss out on great opportunities?
  • What is Positional Bargaining?
  • How are Positional Bargaining and Anchoring connected and how can the connection lead you
  • Why will we work harder NOT to lose $100 than we will to earn an extra $100?
  • How can you start improving your negotiating ability today?
  • What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and how can you use your understanding of it to create more win-win negotiations?
  • What are the 4 elements of a negotiation we should look at in order to create a win-win outcome for both parties?
  • What are the boundary conditions of a negotation and how can being aware of them prevent you from losing out on great long term negotiation wins?
  • How does focusing on interests rather than bargaining positions lead to a win-win in negotiations?

We often feel uncomfortable with negotiating a better deal for ourselves because we believe a better deal for us means a worse deal for the other person. That belief, however, comes from focusing on each person’s bargaining positions rather than our interests. You can do this by focusing on the other person’s interests and what you can offer them that is of little value to you but could be of great value to them. This way you are able to negotiate a win for yourself now while making the immediate loss for the other person worthwhile because of what you can offer that person in another capacity. For example, if you negotiate a discount on a computer repair by offering to write the business owner a great review and tell your friends about them, you are making that discount a win for you and the business owner.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making, And How to Avoid Them

Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret

Episode 694: Becoming High Value


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AJ Harbinger - author of 1152 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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